Fearless In Love(74)

“I never meant for this to happen.” His words were thick with guilt, and his emotions speared her, sinking even deeper than the first time he’d apologized for taking advantage of her. “The way I felt about you from the moment I saw you. How badly I want you. But I can’t stop myself, Ari.”

“No.” The one word was harsh on her lips. “Don’t tell me you regret anything. That you feel guilty.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Not now. Not after all we’ve done.”

And not after you know that I love you.

“Ari—”

But she wasn’t finished. “The first time I saw you, I was attracted to you.” She licked her lips, tasting their loving all over again. And not regretting one single second of it. “Just because I didn’t know this would happen, that we would become so close, doesn’t mean I’m not glad that we have.”

“You need to be with someone hopeful. Someone with a good, clean past who’ll never let you down.” His anguish made her whole body ache.

“Matt.” How could she make him understand? “You came out of a bad childhood and had a bad relationship, but you’re still perfect just the way you are. You’ve never let anyone down, not Noah, not me. And you deserve happiness.”

He deserved her.

“More than anything,” he said, “I want you to be happy. But I can’t leave you alone. I had to touch you tonight.”

“I love that. It makes me feel special. You make me feel special.” She couldn’t stand to hear him explain again why he shouldn’t love her. No one could touch her the way he did without huge feelings. Without love. “And I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

“But I haven’t found your brother for you.”

“I—” She stopped. She’d been about to say that she knew he would. Because she believed in him with all her heart. But suddenly she saw that her faith in him was just one more screw tightening the pressure on him to always make things right. And if he couldn’t, he felt as if he’d let down the people he cared about. “I don’t expect you to solve my problems, Matt. You’re doing your best, and that’s all I could ever ask for.” He opened his mouth—likely to refute what she’d said—and she put her fingers over his lips. “My brother will come home. Someday, somehow. I feel it in here.” She put her hand to her heart. “I’m not expecting you to work miracles. But you’ve already done more for me than any other person on earth.”

He pulled her close, holding her tightly for a long moment. She could only hope her words had seeped in, but all he said was, “I shouldn’t keep you in here any longer, or someone will find us. I know you don’t want that.”

Maybe she did want everyone to know. Because it might be the only way Matt would admit his feelings.

No. She sighed, knowing she couldn’t force him. He had to figure it out on his own.

And she needed to be fearless enough to give him the time and space to get there.

“I wish we could stay like this all night,” she said into the warm crook of his neck. “But we should leave.”

Pulling her to her feet, he left her for a moment to step into the small bathroom. His tux was straight when he came back, and he helped her smooth the layers of her skirt and the tinkling coins. Then he ran his fingers through her hair, gently pulling out the tangles he’d made.

“Do I look okay?”

He held her gaze. “Absolutely beautiful.”

“I’ll go first.” She didn’t want to go at all, but the idea of hiding inside the changing room was worse. Her hand on the knob, she was about to dash out the door when he hauled her close for another kiss.

It was only when she was rushing out onto the pool deck that she remembered her panties were still on the floor.



Running a hand through his hair, Matt spied the lacy scrap on the floor. He hadn’t even taken care to make sure she got them back on.

I love you.

She’d said it again.

And the words haunted him.

How could she be so sure? She’d said it didn’t matter that he hadn’t found her brother. But how could he prove himself to her—how could he prove that he was worthy of her—without keeping that promise?

He scooped up the panties and shoved them deep into his pocket. He would give them back to her tonight. After Noah was asleep and the house was quiet, Matt would ravish her all over again. He couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop, even if guilt ate him up from the inside out.

He walked out and closed the door behind him, turning to head back through the media room.