Fearless In Love(66)

“You guys need a break, man.”

“Agreed.” If Matt could rewind time and live today over, he would have taken Ari home instead of meeting the bitter woman. But even as he thought that, he knew Ari would willingly take any chance to find her brother, no matter how difficult. “I don’t want to tackle the other soldiers’ families until Ari’s over this one.”

“Hell, I’m real sorry about all of it. But I’m glad you’ll be home for Halloween. Noah’s been frantic that you won’t make it to the party.”

“We won’t miss it. And thanks for taking such good care of him.”

“Anytime, you know that. Everything else okay?” Will left a pause as pregnant as a woman screaming her way into the hospital.

“Business is fine.” If he ignored the question Will hadn’t actually asked, maybe it would fade away.

Will let out a low laugh that told Matt things wouldn’t go his way. “I meant with you and Ari.”

“I… We…” Damn it, even to himself, he sounded like a lovesick fool. One who no longer knew which way was up and which was down.

“Look, Matt, don’t worry. I know that whatever happens between you two, you’re the kind of guy who’ll always do the right thing.”

That just made it worse.

When Will hung up, Matt stared unseeing at the phone for a few long moments. His friend had said “you and Ari” as if their getting together was a given. As if it was okay.

But was it?

Could he actually have his beautiful nanny for more than just a few secret days on the road?

All his life, Matt had been careful. He’d learned to control himself, because his father had made him pay whenever he did or said the wrong thing. Only during those early months with Irene had Matt forgotten all his caution. If not for Noah, he never would have forgiven himself for letting down his guard with anyone who wasn’t a Maverick. Once he had a child of his own, he’d needed to be hypervigilant with the precious gift he’d been given. And he’d beaten himself up every time he’d blown it.

But with Ari, he forgot those hard-won lessons again and again. He could never have imagined needing a woman the way he was terrified he needed her.

If it did all go wrong, it wouldn’t be just his son who paid the price by losing his beloved nanny. Matt would lose too.

He’d lose the brightest light he’d ever known.





Chapter Twenty-Three





When Matt returned to their room, he found Ari still sleeping. She’d been as low as he’d ever seen her when they checked in, and even as she slept, uncharacteristic frown lines marked her brow.

He’d give absolutely anything to return her joy to her. Will had said Matt was the better man. But wouldn’t the better man put some space between them until he was certain they could make things work in the real world, not just in secret?

He cursed silently as he watched over Ari. While he couldn’t stand the thought of leading her on, there was no way he could leave her alone either. Not today when he needed to find the light as desperately as she did.

Stripping off his clothes, he forced away thoughts of anything but making her happy right here in this moment as he slid between the sheets. He pulled her close, and without waking, she snuggled, sighing sweetly, her arm across his chest.

He lay quietly, relishing the feel of her, soft and warm in his arms. Had any woman’s skin ever been so smooth? Had any lover ever been so trusting?

He trailed his hand along her arm, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger. As he listened to her gentle breathing, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. Couldn’t keep from kissing her cheek, her hair. Under the covers, he nestled her more deeply against him, her fragrance filling his head.

She made a light sound, beginning to wake as her leg slid up his calf, and he tucked his hand under her thigh to press her hips tightly into his. Her fingers flexed on his chest as he moved his lips over her soft skin.

“You’re so beautiful. So sweet.” He took her mouth, kissing lightly. “So giving. So kind.” Her arm curved around him. “I love how you are with Noah.” His fingers rambled over her bare back to the waistband of her panties. “I love the sound of your laughter.” He buried his face in her hair, then moved to her ear, tracing his tongue along the shell so that she shivered in his arms. “You’re strong and smart and funny.” He gently bit the curve of her shoulder, and she rewarded him with a soft laugh. “I love that you take Noah to see mummies and monkeys.”

“Gorillas,” she corrected, a smile in her voice as she came fully awake.

His heart expanded as he pulled back to see her smile. “I love how open you are with me. That you trust me to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”