Fearless In Love(44)

Chi had never dated—had never even seen a good relationship up close, only the bad ones. No wonder she was so quick to assume that Matt’s motives weren’t pure.

Ari understood her friends’ caution. She’d seen her fair share of bad relationships too, but she still couldn’t help hoping the fairy tale would actually come true. Hope was the one thing she’d always vowed to hold on to.

“I don’t want to be careful,” she admitted, looking out at Noah playing blissfully. She didn’t only want to build tunnels and roads and castles in the sand with him—she also wanted to build dreams that came true.

Before she’d met Matt and Noah, she’d always told herself dreams were better than reality because you couldn’t be disappointed. But if you were never disappointed, maybe that meant you never risked anything.

And Matt—and Noah—were worth risking it all.

“Even if I think you’re acting crazy, we’ll be here no matter how it works out,” Chi said, and Rosie nodded her agreement.

“I love you guys.” Ari blinked through the emotion flooding her eyes.

She could dream all she wanted, but the one thing she could count on was that her friends would be there for her if she bounced herself right off love’s trampoline and landed hard enough to break her heart.



After an inspection of his Florida plant on Friday, Matt’s pilot had orders to get him home by six that night. He missed his kid like crazy.

And missed Noah’s nanny like crazy too.

Working around the clock should have driven thoughts of her out of his mind. Instead, he pretty much lived for her nine p.m. check-in calls, when she ran him through the day’s activities and he let her know about any new lead his investigator was following regarding her brother. And every time they hung up the phone, he’d needed to stand beneath a freezing shower spray for ten minutes to give himself some semblance of control.

His foster mother had always helped him get his head on straight. Taking advantage of the long flight, he called her from the quiet of the luxurious lounge on his private plane.

“I know she drives you crazy, honey,” Susan said after he finished telling her what had happened with Noah during, and after, Irene’s latest visit.

“You could have a kegger on that trampoline. And of course, she just dumped it and ran.”

It shouldn’t still make him angry, but during last night’s phone call, Noah had once again asked if Mommy was coming back soon to teach him how to jump on the trampoline. It could be months before Irene showed up. Matt hated being helpless in the face of his son’s pain.

“Why don’t you get a safety net?” Susan asked, echoing Ari’s suggestion.

“Because then Irene would win.”

“Matt,” Susan said, her tone clearly indicating she wasn’t impressed with his behavior. “The trampoline shouldn’t be a battlefield.”

He knew it shouldn’t be a contest for Noah’s love. All that mattered was Noah’s happiness and keeping him safe. Yes, he could protect Noah by forbidding Irene access to him. But that would only intensify the little boy’s feelings of abandonment.

Which left Matt feeling like he was all out of options.

“I know I’m being an asshole about the whole thing.” Frustration rode his every word. “I just have no idea how to deal with her flitting in, then leaving him behind like a forgotten toy.”

Susan tutted with sympathy. “I know how hard it is on him, but you have to stop blaming yourself, honey.” When he’d told Susan about Noah’s fall by the pool, she’d said the same thing. “You never believe you’re stepping up enough, but honey, I wish you’d see that you constantly take responsibility. You’re there for your brothers whenever they need you. You’re there for us without question. You’re there for your company, your people, even your business partners. And you are there in every way possible for Noah.”

“Then why can’t I find a way to fix Irene so that Noah isn’t brutalized after every one of her visits?” The same way Matt had been with every cruel word his father said, every time his mother refused to stick up for him or help him in any way. It ripped his heart to shreds watching his son. And it was his job to fix it. His inability to do so made him feel like he was just as bad of a parent as his own had been. In a different way, maybe, but the result was the same every time Noah cried himself to sleep, wasn’t it?

“You can’t fix Irene, honey. You can only be there for Noah. And you are, every single day.” Then she clucked at him. “I know what you’re thinking, but you’re nothing like your father.” When he didn’t answer, she added, “You listen to me—I’m not the only one who thinks you’re one of the best dads in the whole world. We all do.”