Fearless In Love(29)

After they’d carried the seemingly endless number of boxes and bags into Noah’s playroom, Irene ordered coffee, which Cookie brought, accompanied by pretty bone china cups and coffee cake on matching flowered plates. Ari apologized to Cookie, saying they wouldn’t need the picnic lunch, and got a knowing smile in return, as if she was used to Irene’s unannounced visits. Noah wolfed down cake with a milk chaser, then dove on yet another present.

“No,” Ari said for what felt like the millionth time when he unearthed an array of firecrackers in a bag that read Catalonia. Talking with Irene was like saying no to a child over and over.

“But I got them in this marvelous town in Spain. They have a wonderful tradition—”

“I’m sorry, Noah,” Ari said. “Those are really dangerous.” Seeing that he was on the verge of a tantrum—heck, Ari felt like having a tantrum herself—she added, “Why don’t you build a giant’s castle out of the new Legos your mommy brought you?”

Thankfully, she was able to divert him before the explosion. But Irene wasn’t at all diverted from her purpose. “You really are a Mary Poppins, aren’t you? I didn’t mean Noah should set off the fireworks all by himself. You and Matt can help him. Before we had Noah, it’s just the sort of exciting thing Matt would have loved to do with me.”

Ari tried to ignore the implication about all the other exciting things Matt had loved to do with Irene. And really, no matter what she thought of the woman—or how much her heart clenched inside her chest—she couldn’t pretend his ex wasn’t stunningly beautiful. What man wouldn’t want to do exciting things with Irene? And for more than just one stolen night…

“If we’d ever gotten married,” Irene continued, “I would have made sure we had the most incredible fireworks show.”

“You two were never married?” Ari couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice.

Irene flapped her hand. “God forbid. Matt’s adorable and”—she fluttered her eyelashes—“we’re still such good friends.” She winked as if to make it perfectly clear just how deep that friendship still ran. “Even with the baby coming along, I wasn’t ready for marriage. But I thought having a baby would be such fun.” She widened her eyes dramatically. “I just didn’t realize they were so much work. And I got so bloated and ugly.” She grimaced. “I couldn’t do anything fun anymore.” Then she smiled brightly. “The baby shower was a blast, though. Even if all the presents were for the baby.” She planted her hand on her chest. “I’m an absolutely terrible mother. Matt’s so much better at the whole parenting thing.” She waved with a flourish.

Ari had the uncharitable thought that the gesture was just like the Wicked Witch. But Irene wasn’t really wicked. She was just…careless and thoughtless. After spending less than sixty minutes with her, it was obvious that having fun was more important to her than actually raising a child.

Ari’s mother had had nothing and Irene had everything, but still Ari saw the similarities: Fun was the most important thing to Irene, just as the next fix had been more important to Ari’s mom than keeping food in the fridge or taking care of her kids.

“It’s so much better for Noah this way, don’t you think?” Irene looked at Ari as if she expected her to actually agree that leaving her child was a good thing.

“Mommy, come help me.”

Noah already knew how to build the blocks on his own. He had his father’s inventive spirit, and he could follow the instructions. But he obviously wanted his mother’s attention.

And Irene was good at giving a few moments of bright and cheerful attention, even if she was as terrible at being a full-time mother as she said. She lay on her stomach on the floor beside him, propped her elbows, and began sorting through bits and pieces, reading instructions, and making Noah the center of her world. He soaked up all that love, laughing, playing, enjoying.

“We went to the zoo last week,” Noah told her, recounting all the animals they’d seen in Oakland.

“That sounds like such fun.” The tiny frown creasing Irene’s forehead made Ari think she was a little jealous that her son had had fun with someone else. “In fact, let’s go to the zoo in San Francisco this afternoon just as soon as we’re done building your new castle. They have the most marvelous gorillas there. Ari, could you please arrange that for us?”

Ari nodded, texting Doreen to ask her to please have the car ready in the next hour or so for a trip to the San Francisco Zoo. Noah and his mother talked about everything Noah had done with Ari in the past week, and Irene made plans for all the things they would do not only this afternoon at the zoo, but also the next time she visited, which she assured him would be in a couple of weeks.