Fat Louise(56)

“You looked like you were cold. I thought this would warm us up.”

Once Lily handed her a warm cup of apple cider, Jane took a sip, enjoying the warmth and cinnamon taste. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. The kids are all growing so fast.” Jane caught the faint hint of sadness in Lily’s voice.

“Thank goodness. I’m on everyone’s speed dial for babysitting. How is Cash recovering from his accident?”

“He’s been moved to a rehabilitation center. He’s doing better. Shade says he’s getting stronger every day.”

“It won’t be long before he gets out and makes up for lost time with the women in Treepoint,” Jane wisecracked.

Lily laughed, tilting her head toward Cade. “Your boyfriend seems nice.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Jane denied.

“Does he know that?” Lily teased. “He reminds me of Shade. He never lets me out of his sight, either.”

“He’s nothing like Shade. Shade loves you. Everyone knew how he felt about you before you did. Cade doesn’t care about me. He just feels guilty and trapped.”

Lily went quiet, her eyes gazing back at Jane in compassion, before she said, “I didn’t see it, and maybe you don’t, either. Sex Piston told me about your loss. I’m really sorry.”

Jane blinked back tears, turning away from Lily. She was still heartsick over losing her baby. When she had found out she was pregnant, she hadn’t been upset; she had been overjoyed. She wanted a family so badly, and the tiny baby was going to be the beginning of one. After she had lost the baby, she felt all alone again.

“I didn’t mean to bring up something so painful.”

“It’s all right.”

“No, it’s not. You looked so sad sitting here, and I wanted to cheer you up, not make it worse.” Lily started to get to her feet.

“Don’t go. It really wasn’t anything you said. It’s me.” Jane licked her dry lips. “I was sitting here, watching you, and I’m so jealous I can’t stand it. I see you looking absolutely beautiful and healthy, pregnant with your baby, while I lost mine.” Jane felt the tears sliding down her cheeks, unable to help herself.

Lily enfolded Jane in her arms.

“I know I should be getting over it since I was only two months along, but I had already picked out names, and I was pestering Crazy Bitch to take me shopping for a crib. I love babies. I’ve always wanted a lot, and I didn’t miss Cade as much when I felt his baby in me.” Jane didn’t know why she was spilling all her baggage onto Lily, who sat listening as she held her, letting her cry on her shoulder. She had held back with her friends, but Lily’s gentleness had loosened the tight grip of grief she had bottled up inside of her.

After several minutes, she managed to gather her shattered control.

Lily released her, taking her hand. “There’s no need to be jealous.” She placed Jane’s hand on her stomach, and Jane caught her breath at the feel of the tightness of her growing womb. “We can share. I know nothing will replace the one you lost, but when you want one to hug or love, you can hold this one. He needs a godmother,” Lily said hesitantly.

She was offering her a gift to share a child. Not to replace hers, but to fill an aching void that would help her heal.

“I would be honored.”

“That’s settled, then.” She looked toward Cade before dropping her voice. “Cade is throwing me dirty looks. He thinks I’ve upset you.”

Jane smiled at Lily. The gentle woman wasn’t capable of hurting anyone. She always went out of her way to be friendly and helpful.

Shade appeared at Cade’s side, joining in the conversation the men were having. Both men stood facing their women.

“See, I told you they’re alike,” Lily teased then grew serious. “I didn’t want to see that Shade cared about me, because I was too scared. Maybe you are, too. Shade helped me through my fears. If you let him, Cade could help you through yours, too. It’s much better than trying to do it alone.”

“I’m tired of being alone. I want someone to want me,” Jane confessed. “I always feel as if I’m imposing on everyone, since I don’t have a car because my mom has a knack for stealing them and selling them for drugs. You know, I bought her four cell phones, and she kept each one for a couple of days before they disappeared. Sex Piston, Killyama, T.A., and Crazy Bitch all look out for me, but I sometimes feel like the weakest link.”

“You’re not their weakest link; you’re the link that holds the chain together. Those women love you. Don’t ever doubt that.”