Fashionably Dead Down Under(78)

“Hi, Cole,” I said and extended my hand in greeting.
He nodded his head curtly and ignored my outstretched hand. What in the hell did Demons have against polite greetings? Was it because I had Vampyre cooties? I let it fall back to my side, but kept my smile firmly on my face.
“Miss Porter, it is good to see you this evening,” he said, barely giving me a glance as he continued to scan the room.
“Call me Astrid,” I said. “Are you armed?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Now I had his attention.
“I asked if you were armed. As a Guard I wondered if the rules were different.”
He considered me for a long moment. “No. I don’t need weapons to protect my Savior. Are you?”
Oookay, he gave me the creeps, but that didn’t mean he was guilty. “Nope, just my fangs.” I grinned and gave him a quick peek. He wasn’t impressed.
We stood in awkward silence and his eyes drifted back to Satan and Amanda.
“She’s lovely,” I said, hoping he’d let loose and dish on Amanda.
“I have no clue who you mean,” he said in a flat voice that made it clear I was annoying him—so much for my boobies.
“Amanda. She’s something else.”
He glanced over at them and his eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes. She is.” Turning back to me, he gave me another curt nod. “Please accept my condolences about your father. He was a misunderstood man. I must get back to work. Good evening . . . Astrid.”
My mouth gaped open and words got lodged in my throat. What in Satan’s name did he mean that my father was misunderstood? I was fairly sure he was not misunderstood at all. He was a psychotic loose cannon in Hell and everyone I’d come across thus far, including his mother, was pleased to hear of his demise. Cole was a weird one. It was also odd that Satan hadn’t asked him to find the damn Sword. Did that mean my uncle didn’t trust his second? This was a fucking mess.
“Did the boobs work?” Ethan asked, knowing full well they hadn’t helped a bit. His supersonic hearing would have clued him into the failed conversation.
“My boobs were fabu.” I smiled sweetly. “I think he’s gay.”
Ethan’s laughter followed me as I made my way toward my cousins . . . and Dante?
What was Dante still doing in Hell and why was he with the Sins?
“All three of you have the same Offensive Leprechaun name because you’re triplets,” Envy informed Gluttony, Pride and Sloth as she scrolled Facebook on her phone. “You’re Sharty O’Legspreader.”
“That’s absolutely foul,” Pride sniffed. “I don’t like that one.”
“I do,” Sloth laughed and ruffled her sister’s perfect hair. “It’s also accurate where you’re concerned.”
“Can it, bitch,” Pride said as she scooted away from her sloppy triplet.
The Sins stood in a group isolated from the rest of the dinner guests. They looked like high fashion models with a bad attitude. I didn’t blame people for avoiding them. If I had a choice I would do the same, but I didn’t have one. I had a freakin’ job and I was beginning to think the pay dirt might be one of the nut-jobs in front of me.
“Astrid,” Wrath cooed. “Divine as usual.” She leaned in for an inappropriate lip lock, but I was saved by Dante of all people.
“What is this Facebook you speak so highly of?” he demanded of Wrath before she was able to make the cousin love connection. She rolled her eyes in disgust and pointed at Envy.
“Ask her.”
“What is your last name, Dante?” Envy asked. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “And your birthdate. The day, not the year.”
“Alighieri,” he spat, completely insulted that she didn’t know. “And my birth date is September fourteenth.”
“Envy, don’t,” Greed warned as she sidled up to Dante and wrapped her arms around him. Well, now I knew why he was here. I’d called it correctly at the poker game. I wasn’t quite sure what she saw in him. He was substantially shorter and his attitude sucked, but who was I to judge true love or a meaningless hook up?
“Dante,” Envy purred, ignoring her sister’s warning. “Your Leprechaun name is Slutty McKnobhobber Douchebag McShitsucker.”
The entire group went silent as a highly unattractive purple suffused Dante’s face. “I take extreme offense at that dreck. That is ungainly for a woman to use that kind of vulgar language and I shall not partake in this conversation.” He put his rather large nose in the air and walked off in a huff.
“Holy hell,” I gasped and sucked back my laughter. “Did it actually say that?”