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Fashionably Dead Down Under(75)

By:Robyn Peterman

“I mean,” I said as I pinched my thighs to keep from laughing or screaming, “have you been watching Ethan and I . . . um,”
“Get jiggy?” Beyonce asked.
“Bump uglies?” Abe grunted and acted out his suggestion.
“Get some stankie on the hang down?” Rachel offered and Ethan choked.
“I know,” Ross yelled. “She mean to say pound the duck!”
“Oh my God,” I moaned as I scooped up my little monsters and tossed them out to the living room. Ethan’s laughter followed me as I herded them out of the room much to their great disappointment at not being invited to the party.
“Are you guys almost ready?” Dixie was standing in the living room, fully dressed and ready to go. “It’s a sit down dinner and Daddy has a shit fit if we’re late.”
My head dropped to my chest and I wanted to cry. I liked Dixie a lot. I was growing to love her, but right now I wanted to kill her. “Be there in a sec,” I said and raced back to the bedroom. “Get up and get dressed. Our ride to my uncle’s is here,” I whispered and tried not to laugh at the incredulous expression on his face.
“We’re finding the damned Sword tonight. I am done with being interrupted. My very impressive package is going to fall off soon if I keep having to ice it down.” He swore and stomped into the bathroom to take a shower. A cold one. I wanted to join him, but that would add insult to injury.
“We’ll be out in a sec,” I repeated and pulled out a sexy black number. With my blood red locks, I had very little choice in the color department. I yanked on some hotter than hell thigh high boots and twisted my hair into a messy knot. I was pissy but good to go.
After a two minute icy shower Ethan came back a bit calmer. He took a long look at my ensemble, rolled his neck and closed his eyes. “The boots are not helping,” he muttered as he retrieved the amulet from the mattress. “The stone can be worn as a charm. I want it on your neck.”
“Is that smart? What if someone knows what it is?” I said.
“Fuck ‘em,” he said. He removed the thin gold chain from my neck and slid the amulet on. It was beautiful. “I’ll feel better if you have this since we’ve been forbidden weapons.”
It fell perfectly between my breasts and sparkled with magic. “It’s a little scary.” I laughed and glanced down at the tiny rock of utter destruction, but Ethan was right. If I needed it . . . I would use it.
“You ready?” he asked. He was dressed head to toe in Hugo Boss and I wanted to strip him with my teeth. Instead I sighed and grabbed a clutch.
“Yes, as ready as I’ll ever be.”
He grinned and gave me a quick but promising peck on the lips. “Let’s go.”

Chapter 24
The dining room was still massive, but less so than this morning. Filled with Demons dressed to the nines, it looked like the set of a movie. Carl, Janet and Myrtle were on duty again making rounds with heavy silver trays laden with champagne and hor d’oeuvres. I was curious what Satan deemed appropriate eats for a formal diner party, so I hightailed it to Janet.
“Would you like some smoked salmon, Astrid?” she asked.
“No weenies tonight?”
“No.” She giggled and popped a perfect toast point smeared with cream cheese, salmon and capers into her mouth. “I like the soy weenies better, but Satan said we had to have classier fare tonight. Ohhhh, you look beautiful. Your hair is amazing.”
“Thanks,” I muttered ungratefully. Trying to ignore my hair color was impossible. There was no avoiding tresses the color of blood. “Do you know everyone here tonight?” I needed to start somewhere and I highly doubted that Janet had taken the Sword.#p#分页标题#e#
“Well,” she whispered, “I know who everyone is. They wouldn’t know me, because . . . I’m me, but it’s the cream of the crop in attendance.”
“Who are those people?” I pointed to a group of hard looking men sipping champagne and exchanging terse pleasantries.
“Those are Guards, like Cole.” Her cheeks darkened with displeasure. “They think they run the show when the Master isn’t around.”
“Don’t they?”
“Yes, but . . . ”
“But what?” I asked. Were they cruel? Were they screwing with Satan?
“Nothing,” she said, quickly recovering. With a big fake smile plastered on her sweet face, she gave me a small curtsy and hustled away.
“Anything interesting?” Ethan asked. He held a glass of champagne and eyed the crowd.
“Janet is afraid of the Guards over there. Possibility one or more might have delusions of grandeur about taking over Hell.” I dipped my pinkie into his glass and touched it to my tongue. “Motherfucker,” I hissed and choked. “How old do I have to be for food to stop tasting like butt?”