Fashionably Dead Down Under(61)

“She is so far ahead of where she should be,” Bambi sang as she shimmied, if you could call it that, around George.
“You are not what we expected,” he told me.
“Yep, I get that all the time. You gonna eat me?”
“I’m sorry, what?” George choked out.
“If you’re going to eat me, I’m going to fight back, but I’d like to know so I can put my little monsters somewhere safe.”
The third silence was a charm . . .
“Um, no. We have no intention of eating you. We’re vegetarians.”
“That’s not a well known fact,” Bambi chimed in. “So don’t let that get around.”
“You are such a funny one,” the General said, loping toward me. “We would die for you. It would be lovely if you didn’t put us in that position, but we would gladly go there if necessary.”
“You’re not going to eat me?”
“No. You’re too chewy.” His eyebrows slapped open and closed as his huge body rumbled with laughter. “So very young to find the balance so quickly, but I should have expected no less.”
“No less from what?” I asked, hoping to catch one of these freakin’ immortals off guard so they’d cough up their cryptic secrets.
“Ah, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. It’s like reading the end of a book after the first Chapter,” he explained.
“How long is the book?” I asked.
He considered me for a moment then gently rubbed his head against my leg. The comfort it brought me was immense. “The book shall be as long or short as you make it.”
I knew better than to be snarky, but God, how I wanted to . . .
“We should be getting back,” Bambi said. “She’s been missed.”
George cleared his throat. At least I think that’s what that sound was—either that or a weird burp. “Astrid, I would suggest you cloak yourself.”
“Why?”
He rolled his eyes and I knew that’s as much of an answer as I would get.
“Fine.” I matched his eye roll and upped it by half. “I’ll cloak. Anything else?”
“As a matter of fact and self-preservation, yes . . . Do not act before you listen.”
“You do realize that I’m not wired that way,” I said with a double down eye roll.
“Yes, my child. I realize that, but I’d suggest you start rewiring now.”
“Yes, sir.” I sarcastically saluted him and made myself invisible with a flick of my fingers. A shimmering door appeared behind them and cast a rosy golden glow on the depressing gray stone of the Basement. This time it wasn’t engulfed in flame. The Hounds waited for me as I circled the area where the Demons had stood and died. I whispered silent goodbyes to the beings that ceased to exist anymore. And I . . .
“Wait,” I gasped. A chill shook my body and nausea overcame me.
“Mommy?” My little Demons poked their heads out of my pockets in distress.
“General, I need to see my mother.” Need was correct. I didn’t want to see her. I wasn’t even sure I could handle seeing her, but the pitiable small child that still lived somewhere inside me wanted to try to make amends. Again.
“Now is not the time, child. There are things above that must be reckoned with before it’s too late. I promise I will bring you back.”
My eyes filled with tears, not because I couldn’t see my mother . . . No. I was so relieved that I’d been forbidden for the moment I was embarrassed. After what I’d already done I had no clue if I was strong enough to face her. Covering my face with my hands, I tried to hold back the waterworks.
“It’s good to cry,” Bambi cooed sweetly. “It’s never smart to face all your Demons in one day, dear. Too hard on the digestive system.”
“I thought you were a vegetarian,” I blubbered through my tears.
“Oh, dear Satan.” She giggled and rocked her head from left to right. “Too much stress can give you gas. It’s not lady-like to fart up a storm.”
The laugh burst from my lips and my tears were now from joyous disbelief and disgust. I had no clue if she was serious or trying to cheer me up. I didn’t care, but made a mental note to stay clear of her bottom in taxing situations.
***
The poker room was filled with Demons. The tension was thick and ominous and the eight guards had been joined by at least twenty more, but that wasn’t the interesting part. No, the interesting part was the show in the center of the room. The large ornate table had been tossed to the side of the room leaving a gaping hole in the plaster. Ethan held Lust by her throat with a dagger pointed at her heart. Satan stood back with his arms crossed over his massive chest looking highly displeased. Lust was babbling and crying. It was clear I’d missed all the fun.