Fashionably Dead Down Under(11)

“Someone named Greed is going to let a random cousin she doesn’t know borrow her shoes?” I asked and reluctantly handed her back the gorgeous footwear.
“She doesn’t like to part with her possessions, but getting to meet you before all the rest of them should be enough incentive for her to agree.” Dixie grinned with glee and texted her sister.
“What about Sloth?” I asked. “Would she just sleep though us pilfering her shoes?”
“Trust me, you don’t want Sloth’s shoes.”
“Why? No. Don’t answer that. The less I know about all of you, the better. I’ll just wear my own.”
“You’re wearing black Converse. I don’t think that will work with Stella McCartney.” Dixie laughed and sat down on the floor with my exhausted Demons. Beating the living daylights out of each other tended to wear their little monster asses out.
“I think Converse goes with everything,” I said and joined her on the floor. “Why are you nice? Aren’t you supposed to be evil and mean?”
“You think I’m nice?” Dixie’s eyes lit up and she grinned happily.
“I do,” I admitted, biting back my own grin. I really didn’t want to like her, but she was making it difficult. “However, you’ve been kind of useless to me so far. Aren’t you supposed to bring me up to speed about my heritage so I can get the hell out of Dodge?”
“What do you want to know?”
The floor and walls of Dixie’s bungalow shuddered. I scooped up my babies and held them to my chest. Big mistake as Abe and Ross took that as a cue to feel me up.
“What was that?” I demanded as I peeled my little boys off my boobs.
“I have no idea.” Dixie literally disappeared and rematerialized by her window. “It felt like a Hellquake, but it’s the wrong season for those.”
“Hellquake?” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Is that Hell’s version of an earthquake?”
“Yes, Miss Smarty Pants, it is. Well, nothing is on fire out there and my security team is still in place so no one has breached the barrier and tried to kill us. We’re fine.”
“Fine? We’re fine?” I asked in a voice that sounded weird even to me. “We are not fine. I don’t belong here. I have a mate and a family that will be looking for me and I have no time for this crap.”
“You’re going to have to make time,” Dixie said. “If you don’t, you’ll find that time is all you have.”
“Oh, for shit’s sake,” I groaned, “you sound like a freakin’ fortune cookie.”
“Whatever,” she huffed. “Ask your questions and I’ll answer what I can.”
“Why aren’t you evil?”
Dixie rolled her eyes. “Not all Demons are evil and not all Angels are good. Nothing is that simple. There’s no such thing as pure evil and no such thing as pure good.”
“Mommy is good. She kill her mommy and daddy today,” Rachel chimed in. “They baaaad mamba jambas.”
“Do you consider yourself evil?” Dixie inquired.
“Absolutely not,” I shot back.
“But you committed murder.”
Wow, harsh, but correct . . . “It was self defense. Me or them.”
“I didn’t realize the Ten Commandments had a self defense clause.”
“Okay, fine. I suck. I’m evil. Next question, did you . . . ”
“It’s about balance, Astrid,” Dixie cut me off. “You can’t have good without evil or you wouldn’t even know what good meant. One cannot exist with out the other. Satan and God. Heaven and Hell. It creates a balance.”
“But your father creates death and hatred,” I countered, trying to remember what I’d learned in Sunday School a million years ago. Fuck. I couldn’t remember anything.
“Nope. My father punishes those that choose to do evil. God, your uncle and mine, gave man free will. Man has a choice and his choice determines his afterlife. This little ditty was a huge mistake on God’s part and my father takes great pleasure in his brother’s faux pas.”
“How is free will a mistake?” She was crazy and had clearly drunk the Kool-Aid. “And did you say God was our uncle?” WTF?
“Yep, I did. And personally I don’t think it was a mistake at all, but God is pissed that so many have chosen the wrong path. His words, not mine, but it’s too late. What’s done is done.”
“So God’s mad that humans suck and Satan is happy he gets to punish them.”
“That’s a little simplistic, but kind of accurate.” She nodded her head and went on. “Technically, Demons are forbidden to create or cause true evil—we’re only allowed to siphon off the energy from evil caused by humans. But Demons, like humans, also have free will. While mild violence, deceit, stealing, promiscuity and cheating are standardly overlooked, acts of terror, mutilation or hobbies resulting in the death of others are strictly forbidden. Trust me, there are plenty of Demons residing in the Basement of Hell. It can be difficult and tricky to control something that thrives on evil, yet isn’t supposed to commit it.”