Fashionably Dead Down Under(104)

And there it all was—Ania’s most likely destiny suddenly laid out for him to read like most would read a com search. It was both marvelous and more frightening than anything Dorian had intuited in his life before that moment. He had to clear both awe and fear from his throat in order to speak.
“There are great changes possible for you in the coming days, and many decisions to be made,” Dorian said carefully. “Know there are as many kinds of death as there are of life. Make choices that you can live with no matter how difficult they are for others to bear. And Ania. . .” His voice tapered off as he saw what Ania would become if she chose a certain path. The vision shook him as he held her. Did he dare reveal it?
“What do you see, Dorian? Is death a possibility?”
“I’m sorry. The words to describe what I see will not come to my tongue at the moment, but my instinct is that the Creators of All are the architects of these plans for you,” Dorian said solemnly, raising his head and opening his eyes. “I will selfishly ask you not to choose your own physical death regardless of how hard your new life seems.”
“My new life?” Ania repeated Dorian’s words as calmly as she could, though she felt anything but calm about them. Her new life, as he called it, was a trap from which she had found no escape for two years. Her frustration over that fact exceeded any emotion she could ever recall having before. “I have no life, Dorian. In all the ways that matter, I am already dead. I was dead to my mate when he left. Now I am dead to my parents as well.”
She made herself step away from the comforting touch of Dorian’s hands. It was hard to give it up because she could at least feel his sincere compassion. Most Pleiadians did not touch others routinely, and no one touched someone of her societal rank without express permission. It was Liam Synar who had changed her desire for even the most basic of physical contact—and almost from the first moment they had been introduced. What had she become because of the Norblade male who had abandoned her?
Ania shook her head as she stepped as far out of Dorian’s reach as she could get in the small space. She turned her face to his again, but there was no more comfort in it. His compassion only angered her now. It felt too much like pity.
“How much more death can there be for me, Dorian? I fear there is even too little of my spirit left for the Creators of All to want it, otherwise I would be gone from this life. Be wise and never sacrifice your spiritual vows for a mate again. It is not a good exchange.”
“All you say may feel true to you at the moment, yet you are still physically alive, Ania. Plus I saw all of you in the reading. Your spirit is still inside your body, just hidden away and sleeping until something awakens it. I have faith in the Creator’s plan, so I will meditate for you until you are able to do so for yourself again. Blessings on your continued long life, my great teacher. I serve you still.”
Ania snorted at Dorian’s declaration, but afterwards felt herself close to tears once more. Yes, teacher. She had been that once, though the details were like a story that happened to someone other than her.
Ania was tempted to demand more answers. If pressed, Dorian would probably tell her the secret Liam was hiding. But she couldn’t in good conscience ask Dorian to divide his loyalties between Synar and her. There was no choice but to wait for her former mate to decide to talk to her.
“Blessings on your continued long life as well,” Ania said finally, bowing her head to him again. More anger would not help. And she was grateful that Dorian cared. “Go in peace, Dorian. I’m sure I’ll see you again shortly on a ship this size.”
Dorian turned his body toward the door, but his face was still turned toward Ania, reluctant to leave. Her head was bowed in even more defeat now than when he had entered the tiny cramped space where Synar had put her. He almost ran over the person in the doorway as he considered whether to stay or go. “Liam—pardon. I didn’t see you.”
“Why are you here?” Synar demanded. “I said Ambassador Looren was not to be disturbed at all today.”
“I am only here to help her get settled in, Captain. If you’ve come to see to your mate’s needs, I will gladly take my leave of her.”
Dorian’s irritation faded quickly. His formality had the desired effect of causing Liam more guilt than a thousand carefully chosen words might have. He almost never called him captain. Liam had never asked it of him.
“Dorian is not disturbing me anymore than you are, Captain Synar. He offered me vibrational solace and showed me kindness, as is the best gift of his people. His efforts were appreciated and quite within protocol for a ship’s counselor.”