I quickly banish that crazy thought. Of course not. It’s a goodbye present, not a promise for the future.
I unwrap it carefully. Inside the box is a little black…remote? I look up at Mom uncertainly.
She’s beaming. “It’s the remote to your Bentley convertible! It’s parked in the drive.”
“No way.”
We rush outside, Mom giggling like a school girl along the way. I run out the front door, and—there it is, sitting in the driveway, gleaming in the mid morning light.
A shiny purple Bentley convertible.
“Oh, my god,” I gasp.
I can only stand there with my mouth hanging open. Mom takes the remote and uses it to open the doors. Then she pulls me over so we can check out the interior.
It's beautiful inside. All the buttons and dials and displays overwhelm me. The dark gray leather seats are just luxurious.
I sit behind the wheel and feel like—like a rock star. “I can’t keep this,” I tell Mom in an awed voice.
She’s sitting in the passenger seat, poking at what looks to be a phone in the middle console. “Zane was very clear that he wasn’t taking it back,” she says. “He wants you to have it, Violet.”
I grip the steering wheel with both hands, my shoulders slumping. “Out of guilt.”
“Violet. Keep the car. Enjoy it. Start smiling again.” Mom smoothes back a lock of my hair. “You’ve only got a few more months until you’re off to college. Just…take it one day at a time. Okay?”
I close my eyes and see Zane’s face. I quickly open them again. “Okay,” I say. “I’ll try.”
No regrets.
Yeah, right.
I help Mom clean up our Christmas morning mess, then I hop in my old Toyota with a bag of gifts and head to Lauren’s. After doling out presents and accepting my own, I pull Lauren aside and hand her the keys to my car.
“It’s old, but you know it runs good,” I tell her while she stares at me, dumbfounded. “You can use it, or trade it in, or whatever.”
“Are you kidding, V?” Lauren tries to hand me back the keys. “You can’t give me your car. What are you suppose to drive?”
I rub my forehead uneasily. “Um…well, Zane kind of…bought me a new one.”
Lauren’s mouth falls open. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Drive me back home and you can see it.”
I have to bully Lauren into taking the Toyota. In the end, I guilt her into it by bringing up the fact that it would make it much easier for her family if there were two cars—especially when the baby comes. Finally, she gives in, and surprises me by giving me a tight hug. Lauren never hugs. Must be the hormones.
I debate all night with myself, and finally I decide to send Zane a simple thank you note, along with the mermaid sculpture and the Stirling engine model I was going to give him for Christmas. I know it seems stupid—he gives me a Bentley, I give him a mermaid and a toy. But…I don’t know. I did buy it for him before we broke up.
I get his address from Mom and mail it off before I can change my mind. Then I immediately regret it. What was I thinking?! He’s going to think I’m an idiot, playing games. He’s going to think the statue is stupid. I’ll bet he doesn’t even remember that day at the gallery.
Oh, god, what did I do?
Chapter 35
I work on New Year’s Eve, which is fine since I didn’t have any plans, anyway. One of the resident’s nephew brings fireworks, and we bring everyone outside to set them off. The residents are delighted with the small display, gazing up at the burst of lights in the sky with big smiles. Then we go back in for hot chocolate and root beer floats.
I’ve been doing good at acting cheerful and full of happy energy, but by the end of my shift, I feel exhausted with the effort. Helize notices how quiet I’m being and asks if I’m okay.
I force a smile. “I’m fine. Um…can I ask you a personal question?”
She’s having a particularly lucid day today. She meets my eyes in the reflection of the mirror as she brushes her thin white hair. “Well, you’ve wiped my butt and washed all my odds and ends, dear. I guess that earns you the right to ask. Go on.”
I laugh. “Ew. Okay. Do you…do you ever regret not marrying, and starting a family?”
Helize’s gaze suddenly turns inward, her expression far away. “No, I wouldn’t say so,” she says finally. “I had a lot of amazing experiences—done things that I don’t think I would have the opportunity to do, had I settled down. Traveled a lot. Did I tell you about the time I hand glided in Paraguay?”
“No, but it sounds like a good story,” I say.