I roll on my side, wincing a little at the tenderness. Zane immediately turns to me, concerned.
"You okay?"
"Oh, yeah." I smile up at him, giddy with an overload of emotions.
Zane laughs reluctantly. He rubs a hand over his face. "Damn it, I've never been that rough before—not even with girls I know can take it. With you... I lost control." He reaches out and smoothes back a lock of my hair. "I'm sorry."
I prop myself up on one elbow and peer at him. "Wait. You're admitting sex with me is different than with any other girl, and that it was so hot, you couldn't control yourself. And you're apologizing? Dude."
Zane stares up at the ceiling. "I've created a monster," he mutters.
I snicker smugly, nudging his arm. "Not bad for a virgin, right? So, am I the best you ever had?"
He smirks back at me, tugging the sheet from my tight grip. "Yes, Violet Mercer, you are a sex goddess. You're the best I've ever had. I think I went deaf there for a while."
Embarrassed, but laughing, I try to wrestle the sheet back from him. "Is it because of my smokin' hot body?"
Zane suddenly rolls so that he's half lying on top of me. He caresses my face with one hand. "It's because of this." He dips his head down and covers my mouth with his. "And this." He moves his hand over my heart. "This," he whispers. Then his hands trails down, over my stomach, and past it.
I gasp and lock eyes with him. Unspoken words pass between us. He lowers his forehead to mine, and we stay connected like that for one precious moment.
"What do you wanna do now?" he asks lazily, breaking the spell. "We could go down to the park and grab something to eat."
I run my hands up and down his smooth hard chest. "Or," I say. "We could eat up here, then go down later."
Zane chuckles, low and sexy. "I like the way you think. Tell you what—why don't I run you a hot bath, then I'll take a quick shower, and order us some food? What do you want?"
"Meat," I say promptly. "You know what I like. And I'd rather have a shower."
"Trust me. You’ll feel better after a bath."
I frown at his back as he gets up and disappears into the bathroom. A minute later, I hear the sound of running water.
Why would I need a bath? I ache a little, but not that bad. Zane's just being overly cautious. It's sweet.
Then I try to stand and—okay, ow. Wrapping the sheet around me, I grab some clothes from my bag and carefully hobble to the bathroom. Zane says something to me, but I'm too distracted by his incredible body to understand. He just laughs and shakes his head.
After helping me in, he leaves to shower in the other bathroom. I lean my head back against a convenient little ledge and close my eyes, sighing in content.
I don't know where the tears come from, but once they start, I can't stop them. I sob quietly into my hands, not even sure why I'm crying. I just had the most amazing experience of my life, so why do I feel this way? How do I feel? Not happy—that's not the right emotion. Ecstatically miserable? Joy mixed with razor blades? I can't explain it. I feel like I could soar through the clouds, but it costs me dearly.
I'm in love with Zane—of course I know that. Just like I know I can't keep him. The distance and my insecurities...it's only a matter of time before they tear us apart. How long before he gets tired of me? I mean, he never said he loved me, never talked about our future. He doesn't owe me anything. He doesn't have to love me back. No matter how much it hurts to...
Never mind. I'll take Zane any way I can get him. I just want to live in the moment. No regrets.
That’s the secret of life, right?
Zane comes in to give me some Tylenol and a glass of water, and to let me know the food will be here in twenty minutes. Did I mention how good he looks just out of the shower? His damp hair looks almost black, and that freshly showered smell clings to his skin.
He's wearing a pair of black sweatpants that hang a little from his hips, and no shirt. He should never wear shirts, or pants, or...
Ugh. Need to get my head out of the gutter.
I get out of the tub, feeling invigorated and refreshed. After vigorously drying myself off with a fluffy towel, I put on my hot pink bunny panties and a green silk robe—perfect attire for lounging around with your hot boyfriend.
Our food is here by the time I'm done in the bathroom. We sit on the ground next to the windows in the living room. I've got a huge juicy bacon burger with steak fries while Zane has his usual healthy crap—some kind of wheatgrass and cabbage wrap things. Blah.
I'm starving! It's almost three in the afternoon, and this is only thing I've had to eat all day. Zane doesn't care that I eat like a pig—he seems to enjoy my appreciation of food, thank goodness. I don't stuff my face like I used to, but I do like to eat.