“My dad is here. Artisan asked us to send over some old family pictures for an article they’re putting together.”
That set him back a moment. An article celebrating their accomplishment, or remembering them after their death? He pushed the thought out of his mind. “Then I’ll tell him, too.”
“Tell me what?” Mick had appeared in the doorway, nostrils flaring with hostility. “Good-bye? Sounds great. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Ross tried to manufacture a tiny bit of sympathy for the man who had lost his wife in a tragic accident, but all it took was one look at Kelsey’s stricken face for that to fall away. “No. Not good-bye. At least, not yet.”
Kelsey turned to her father. “Can you give us a minute?”
Mick did not seem inclined to move. She cleared her throat. “Dad, I’m not kidding. Give us a second alone.” When he still did not step away, she stepped out of the house and onto the front porch and shut the door behind her. Then she turned to Ross. “What did you want to say?”
In the car, on the way over, he had thought about all the various ways he could say it. Some were poetic. Some were straightforward. Some used fancy words. But in the end, all he could do was blurt out the truth.
“I’m in love with you, Kelsey. I don’t want you to go because I love you and I need you. I want to tell the kids that I’m crazy about you. I want to go camping with you and sleep in the same tent. I want to kiss you in front of the world.”
She blinked.
Took a step back.
“No, you don’t.”
He frowned. “I really do, actually. I’m not the sort of guy to mix up his emotions. If I’m telling you that I’m in love, I’m in love.”
“You made that vow, remember? I’m not Donna Reed. I can’t cook. I like to climb on things and run up mountains and sometimes I fall down and hurt myself.”
“I am well aware of that,” he said gravely. “I’ve changed my mind about the vow. It wasn’t well thought out.”
“I’m going to Nepal. I’m going to climb Annapurna.”
He paused. “See, that’s where I was hoping I might be able to persuade you differently. Because of the whole love thing. That changes everything, doesn’t it? You don’t want to go, and I don’t want you to go. Doesn’t that help?”
She shook her head, and even in the dim porch light he could see that her shoulders were shaking. “Don’t ask me to stay. Don’t tell me you love me.”
“Too late,” he said. “I already did.” He tried to smile, though he knew it was a lousy attempt. “And in case you’re wondering, I’ll love you no matter what you do. So you pretty much win either way.”
“Ross, I… I…” Her voice was shaking so badly she couldn’t put words together. He didn’t know why. Did she feel the same way about him? Did she not? He’d never felt so helpless in his entire life.
“Kelsey?” The voice came from the other side of the door. Ross clenched a fist.
Kelsey must have caught the gesture because she touched his arm. “Please don’t.”
“Let me talk to him,” Ross said. “He’s a father. He must realize what he’s doing to you.”
“I need time,” she said. “I can’t do this right now.”
He felt like an ass then, because he saw she was crying. Great big fat tears rolled down her cheeks and slipped off her jaw. She brushed them off with the back of her hand.
“I love you,” he said again, because it was the only thing he knew how to say anymore.
She nodded and fled back into the house.
…
Kelsey shut the door behind her, shoulders shaking with repressed tears. Every emotion lay just inches below the surface, sobs pushing against her throat, the devastating certainty that she’d sent away the only man she would ever love roiling in her gut.
Her father stood a few feet away from the door, the leathery skin around his mouth pursed in a deep frown she knew was supposed to appear sympathetic, but really belied his underlying disgust. “I guess that guy ended up being a jerk, huh? Too bad. You sent him on his way, I assume?”
She examined him slowly, from the wire-sharp muscles of his biceps to the deep tan on his forearms. She noticed the long fissures of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, and wondered when he’d started to look so old.
Her father had been her constant companion ever since her mother died. They’d stood together, emotionless and stunned, at her funeral. He’d taken her on long vacations from school so they could climb Denali and Mount Hood, working their way up to the bigger peaks in Europe and South America. Yet despite their proximity, she was suddenly struck by the realization that they’d never really talked.