“But I can’t just think about myself,” he said, breaking into her reverie. “It doesn’t work that way for me.”
“Like it does for me?”
He grabbed her waist and dragged her hard against him. Showers of sparks tingled in her brain, across her skin, through her heart. “I’d give my left arm to sleep with you again. Maybe the right one, too. But it’s complicated.”
“Because I’m not a stranger in a bar,” she said, wishing she could pretend it didn’t hurt. “Because you know my last name.”
He waved one hand in a gesture of helplessness. “I don’t know how to explain this, exactly, but I made a pledge to myself on the day I signed those divorce papers. I knew the process was going to be horrible for the kids, and it killed me. I never wanted to hurt them, and I was committed to doing whatever I had to do to make the rest of their lives better.”
“You didn’t ask for the divorce.” For a moment, her own pain slipped away, as she remembered how devastated he’d been that night. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“I wish that mattered, but it doesn’t. I promised myself back then that if—or when—I dated someone new, she’d have to be right for the kids. She’d have to be the kind of person I could bring home and know they’d love her and she’d take care of them and never leave them.”
“So you’re telling me after your divorce you made some kind of inner pledge to only date Donna Reed?”
“Basically, yes.”
“And then you slept with me.”
He grinned, and the mood unexpectedly lightened. “Those were my requirements for dating. Lucky for me, we never went on a date.”
Unwittingly, Kelsey felt some of the tension ease from her body. It was really unfair that Ross’s smile was so warm it acted on her nerves like a damn tranquilizer. “I think I understand. You think if you sleep with me again, we’re dating. And that would mess up the whole personal vow thing.”
He paused for a moment, and then shrugged, somewhat sheepishly. “Something like that.”
“But wait,” she said, holding up one palm. “You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re assuming that I want to date you.” She tapped one finger in the middle of his chest. “Look at this from my perspective. You’ve got three kids and you live out here in the land of suburbia, with three-car garages and trips to the grocery store every other day to buy more juice boxes. Do you really think this is what I want?”
He had the humility to look slightly ashamed. “I hadn’t really thought about it that way.”
Throwing aside all caution and reason, Kelsey wrapped her arms around his neck. She could hardly believe she was touching him, but the simmering attraction between them had taken over, and she could no longer fight it. “Listen, tough guy. I don’t want to date you any more than you want to date me. And I’d appreciate it very much if you’d keep your judgment about my life and my choices to yourself.”
“But?” He lowered his face an inch, bringing their lips just heartbeats apart.
“But I would like to sleep with you again.”
They stared at each other for a long, silent moment. She took a deep breath and screwed up her courage. No, he wasn’t right for her. Yes, this had the potential to lead to nothing but heartache.
And yet…
She rose on the tips of her toes, tugged gently on his neck, and pressed her mouth against his.
That was all it took. In a second Ross had her surrounded and it was like the night at the hotel. An embrace that drew her in and wouldn’t let go. Their hips bumped, lips met, bodies strained. He seemed to envelop her in his arms, surrounding her with strength and deliberate, certain intention. He moved his hands over her hips, slid around to cup her buttocks, and then lifted her up and settled her over his groin. She moaned, low in her throat, and moved her hips.
“Damn it,” he breathed, pausing for a moment as he buried his face in her neck. “We can’t do this. How could we possibly—”
As if anticipating what he was going to say next, a sound came from the door, startling them both. The handle clicked as someone from the outside tried, unsuccessfully, to open it. Her heart leaping into her throat, Kelsey jerked from his embrace. She took a second to adjust her clothes before moving swiftly to unlock the door and open it. Julia stood at the threshold, her hair tousled, water bottle in hand.
“Why was the door locked?” she demanded.
Kelsey cocked her head, feigning confusion. She hoped like hell that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt, or her breathing as loud. “What do you mean?” she gulped. “It wasn’t locked.”