Passion lingered in the soft line of his mouth, and his breathing was no steadier than her own. But when he spoke, his words were deadly serious. “I looked it up, Kelsey, three years ago. Annapurna is the deadliest mountain in the world. Forty percent of the people who try to climb it die. Are you going to tell me that’s not dangerous?”
“Thirty-three percent since 2010,” she corrected him, her voice faint as she pulled down her shirt. “It gets safer every year. And I’m not saying it’s something you do lightly. But it’s something I have to do. Something I’ve been working toward all my life.”
“You were scared that night. You thought you wouldn’t make it back.”
She flinched. “Anyone in their right minds would be a little scared. That doesn’t mean anything. And I didn’t die, obviously.”
“Did you summit?”
“No. There was a storm.”
Wind like a freight train, whipping the sides of the tent. Bitter cold, seeping through layers of clothing, sleeping bags, insulated boots and gloves. Bitter arguments, even colder than the weather.
“It’s not our year. We’ve got to head back down.”
“She would have stayed. She wouldn’t have turned back.”
“Were you hurt?”
Kelsey pulled herself out of the memory. “A little frostbite. Nothing serious.”
“Are you going back?”
She nodded. “In a month.”
That evidently surprised him, because he blew out a breath as he closed his eyes. “Damn it, Kelsey, you may not be dangerous to my kids, but you’re dangerous to yourself. Why the hell would you do something like that?”
The words were piercing. She flinched and turned away from the unexpected attack. The benefit of living in a place like Boulder was that people didn’t judge the decisions you made. They understood that some things didn’t make sense. That some choices weren’t really choices at all.
“It’s hard to explain.”
His gaze caught and held her. “Try.”
“I… It’s just something I have to do.” Her fingers found the clasp of her bra, and she fumbled with the twisted elastic. How in the world could she begin to explain it? How could she explain about her mother…or her father? He could never understand the responsibility she carried.
“Because of the adrenaline? The excitement? The danger?”
His questions were so utterly wrong that she couldn’t imagine going any further. “Let’s forget this happened,” she said, taking a step toward the door. “You were right in the first place. None of this makes any sense.”
He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, and then turned her to face him. “No, wait. I didn’t mean…”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Ross, this is silly. We had a really great night together, but that doesn’t mean anything. You don’t want to get mixed up with someone like me. You said so yourself. We’re from different worlds. I don’t know why we would drag it out any further.”
He blew out a long breath. “Just listen for a minute, okay? Let me explain.”
She paused, wishing she could just walk out the door. “Fine. Go ahead.”
“Look, I have been a jerk for the past few days. Especially today. I should have told you about Luke. I realize that. You’re great with the kids and I’m sorry I’ve been giving you such a hard time.”
She eyed him suspiciously, unable to tell if he was kidding. “Really? You think I’m good with the kids?”
“Come on, look around. Julia would follow you to the end of the earth, and Matt thinks you’re some kind of athletic god. Luke hasn’t exactly warmed up, but that’s because he’s an eleven-year-old boy and he’s missing his friends and his mom and doesn’t know what to do about it.”
She filed away the words, uncomfortable with the emotion they engendered. She didn’t care if Ross’s kids liked her. And even if she did, it didn’t matter. They deserved better than getting involved with someone like her. Hadn’t she always said that? Kids needed someone who would be there when they went to bed at night and when they woke up in the morning. She wasn’t that kind of person.
“I just need to be honest, because being subtle was never my strong suit. I want you. I’ve never felt this way about a woman—I didn’t even know it was possible to want like this.”
His gaze moved across her face, dropped lower to survey her body and trail across her breasts. Need sprang up between them, so powerful it was like a physical thing. Everywhere he looked, a fresh wash of desire followed. All her reasons for staying away from him melted in an instant, and she was back in that hotel room, desperate for one more touch of his hand.