“I never joined,” I confessed.
“What?” His eyes bulged, and he crossed his arms over his clipboard. “Are you kidding me? Why wouldn’t you join? Your running times are amazing. You’d be one of the best on the team.”
“I . . .”
I gave Logan a look. I didn’t know what to say. I should explain to my coach that I chose not to join the team so I could spend time with my boyfriend? I didn’t think he’d respect that.
I shrugged instead. “It’s just a decision I made. I’ve been content with doing track only.”
He shook his head. “You’re here to see a career counselor, but, Sam, I really urge you to join the cross-country team. They could use a runner like you. You know what? Come to my office tomorrow. I’d like to talk about this some more with you.” He lowered his head; his eyes still meeting mine. “Would you do that?”
“Uh . . . sure. Yeah.”
He nodded. “Good.” He seemed to relax and pressed the clipboard against his side. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Clapping Logan on the shoulder, he moved for the door. “It was nice meeting you again, Kade.”
“You too.” Logan waited until the door closed. “Why didn’t you just tell him the truth? You didn’t join because of Mason, right?”
“Because he wouldn’t understand.”
Logan snorted. “You’re being that girl.”
We’d started down the hallway toward the counselors’ offices, but I stopped. “What does that mean?”
“You know. That girl.” He grinned. “The chick who puts her boyfriend first.”
“I’m not that girl.”
“Yeah, you’re exactly that girl.” He gestured to me. “You don’t want to admit it, but you’re putting Mason first. It’s cool, Sam. It’s only half the year. The other half, you get to do your thing. Track.”
I scowled. I hated the way he said that, like I was weak-willed and submissive.
But he was right.
During the fall, I did put Mason first.
It stung.
I blinked a couple times. “So you’re saying I should join the cross-country team?”
“If you want. It’s up to you. Has Mason ever asked you not to? Did he say he’d be mad if you did or something?”
I stiffened. “Are we talking about the same guy?”
Mason put me first. Always had, always would.
Logan’s grin widened. He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “Exactly. You know Mason won’t care, so you can relax. You’re not that girl. Your boyfriend didn’t make you choose him over yourself. You made that decision all on your own.”
My scowl was back. “Stop fucking with me.”
“I’m not.” He held his hands up. “Honestly. But I’ve always wondered why you didn’t join. I just figured there was a good reason. I mean, I thought Mason probably factored into it, but I thought there was more to it too.”
I thought for a moment. They had meets every weekend, and sometimes during the week. Mason had practices every day, and there were team activities off the field too. That wasn’t including the games—those he had every week too.
There’d be no time. I would almost never see him.
The thought of it—no. I couldn’t. I started forward again. “I can’t do it. I’ll never see him.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?”
I stopped again. A spark of anger lit in my stomach. I turned back around to him. “Stop it, Logan.”
“Look.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t be hypocritical here. I love you, Sam. You’re family, and I know Mason would want you to do what you want. You two are good. There’s no vulnerability in your relationship, so what are you doing? Why are you choosing him over something I know you’d love? You loved it in high school. You love running, and that’s all this team does—and not for a just a mile or two. It’s literally everything you love doing. If the only reason you’re not doing it is because of Mason, I know my brother would tell you to do it. Have you guys ever talked about it?”
He knew the answer. I refused to give it. I just stared.
He sighed, his hand dropping back down. “That’s what I thought. Let me guess. He asked if you were going to join, and you said no. That was probably the entire conversation, wasn’t it?”
“Not fully.”
He snorted. “He probably asked if you were sure, and you said you were. Then he dropped it. Right?”
He was a bit closer this time. I gritted my teeth. “You’re mad because he didn’t push me? Is that it?”