I nodded. “I know, and I know Logan just figured out what he wants to do, but I still have no clue. How can I commit to a future if I don’t know who I want to be in the future?”
“We talked about this. It’s okay. We’ll take our time. We don’t have to do anything right now. Shit. We technically still have a month left of summer, too.”
He made sense. I tried to tell myself that, but I didn’t like this feeling. Now that I’d realized what was wrong, I wanted to fix it. I didn’t want to be lost anymore.
“Sam.” Mason scooted even closer, his knees touching mine now. He took my hand in his. “You can take all the time you want. I’m not going anywhere. Logan isn’t either. You’re not going to lose us, no matter what you do.”
I laced our fingers together.
“I don’t like not knowing myself,” I admitted.
He squeezed my hand. “Then get to know yourself.”
I laughed. “It’s so simple to you. You’ve always known.”
He shrugged. “You will too. It’s just coming at a different pace.”
“Thanks, Mason.”
His eyes darkened and, then I was on his lap. His hands found my waist, and leaning back in his chair, he held me anchored over him.
“You never have to thank me, but if you really feel obligated . . .” He winked, and his teasing intention was clear as his hand slid under my shirt, and he sat up to find my lips.
We moved to the bed after a moment, and all talk ceased.
“Where exactly did you lose yourself? Maybe we could retrace our steps. You could find yourself where you last saw yourself?”
“Har har.” I rolled my eyes.
Logan was walking me to the career center on campus. It was Monday morning, which would normally make the quad filled with students, except we were a month early. The only students around were those who’d stayed to take summer classes, or athletes, like Mason, who were starting their practices already.
I looked over the lush green lawns and sidewalks crisscrossing the quad. It was peaceful and eerie all at the same time.
“I’m going to talk to someone and probably take a test, because I have no idea what I want to do with my future.”
He grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Let me help you with that. I’m Logan Kade.” He pointed to himself, then to me. “You’re Samantha Strattan. You’ve been boning my brother for almost four years.”
He held his hand out, and I ignored it. “Har har. So funny.”
“I amuse myself.”
“You make jokes, but you know what I mean. I was picking up trash at the local carnival this summer. If that isn’t a cry for help, I don’t know what is.”
“Don’t knock the carnies. They have deep pockets we may need someday.”
And I really ignored that one. I could see the career center ahead on our right and picked up speed.
“I know you could’ve spent all day with Taylor,” I told him. “So I appreciate you coming with me.”
He shrugged. “Your guy’s in football all day. My woman’s hanging out with her posse. Seemed fitting that you and I spend the day together.”
I reached for the door, but he grabbed it, holding it open for me.
“I’ll admit, I didn’t envision the career center when you asked if I’d go to campus with you. I thought we’d hit up the cafeteria—sneak in and get free food or something.”
“We can do that later.”
We were crossing through the lobby when I heard my name being called.
I looked up to find one of my track coaches coming down the stairs.
“Coach Carillo. Hey.”
In his mid-forties, with dark black hair and a few specks of gray, he was dressed completely in Cain University apparel. A whistle hung from his neck.
He eyed Logan as he held out his hand. “Logan Kade, right?”
“Yes, sir.” Logan shook his hand. “We’ve met once or twice over the years at Sam’s meets.”
“Mason Kade’s brother.”
“Right again.”
He nodded, a look of approval on his face. His turned back to me and narrowed his eyes slightly. “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to see a career counselor.”
“No, I mean, what are you doing in this building?” He pushed back his sleeve and looked at his watch. “Cross-country is starting today. Why aren’t you there?”
“Oh.”
I never joined the cross-country team because of the time commitment it would require. It was a fall sport, just like football, and finding time to spend with Mason was already challenging enough when he was playing. It’d be almost impossible if I joined a sports team with a season at the same time. Besides, track had been my forte since freshman year.