“It’s weird!” she yelled, throwing her arms out.
“Get over it. She’s someone who loved you. She had your back against me. You don’t throw people like that away. You keep them close, and you have their back too. Trust me.” I felt a lump in my throat. “I’ve had my share of people who said they loved me, but when things got bad, they couldn’t leave me fast enough. When someone’s hurt, you shield them, you don’t hurt them further.”
Her head hung. “That’s not what I did.”
“It is, but you keep telling yourself whatever excuse you’ve thought up. That’ll be there long after you chase any other good person away.”
“Goddamn it!” She threw her head back, eyes blazing. “What the fuck is your problem? Why are you on my ass about this?”
“Because I’m changing to!”
I stopped, wide-eyed. I could feel the intensity in them. My blood was pumping. Everything stopped, and I felt it click.
“What?” Faith’s eyebrows pinched together.
Mason had to change. He needed to find the line with me, and hold it. But I had to change too. And Faith wasn’t another Kate. I had been looking at her, anticipating it, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t a great human being, but she wasn’t going to plot against me. She was all bluff.
I was calling her on it.
“You’re never going to actually hurt me, are you?”
“What?” Her head craned backward. “No. Who do you think I am?”
“People from my past.”
“What?” Her eyes grew wary.
“I have been plotted against. I have been hurt. Everything you’ve threatened has already happened to me. I took your threats seriously.” But I didn’t have to anymore.
I was changing.
I was growing up.
What happened to me before wasn’t going to happen again, and I could see it now. It was clearer.
“You aren’t Kate, Jessica, or Lydia. You’re not even my mother. You’re just . . .” I looked at her again, feeling my loathing gone. Faith just looked sad now. She was a girl, her brown hair pulled up in a braid. She had a pronounced jaw, maybe a little too square for a girl, and she was thin. I would’ve thought she had a problem if I didn’t know how strong her legs were. They were shaped and firm, like a professional runner’s. But . . . she was just a girl.
All the fight I had stored for her fled. “I’ve been picking fights with you, haven’t I?”
She closed her mouth, then lifted a shoulder, but she kept a cautious eye on me. “I’ve given you reason. I’m a spoiled brat, and I might tell people not to talk to you, but I’m not vindictive where I want you to actually get hurt. I just say things. My sister keeps saying my big mouth is going to get me in trouble. And you’re right.”
I glanced at her.
She rolled her eyes, her lips strained in annoyance. “You have made me question a couple things, and who I have in my circle is one of them. You’re right. Raelynn always had my back, and I knew she loved me, but she never did anything about it. She just supported me.”
“She just loved you.”
“Yeah. She did.” She let out a sigh. “I’ll make it right with her.” Her eyebrows pulled together. “You saw her last night? Where?”
“A nightclub.”
“Which one?”
I shrugged. “I wasn’t paying attention to much last night, but she was more drunk than I was. She walked right past me without blinking an eye.”
“She doesn’t pay attention. When she goes out, she purposely gets in her own head. I don’t know why she does that, but she does. Always drove me crazy.”
I heard the fondness and added, “She was holding hands with a girl.”
Her head lifted up. “Yeah?”
I nodded.
“Good for her, if that person is more, you know. She better be a damned good person. Rae deserves it.” She waved that off, or tried. Her hand stopped mid-wave. “She deserves more than me as a friend too.”
I didn’t know what to say, but I didn’t think Faith cared. We stood in silence. Faith was with her thoughts, and I let her be.
After a couple minutes, she coughed and refocused. “Uh. Why did you want to meet this morning again?”
I gestured down the running path. “From here, if you follow this path until it stops, it’s seventeen miles. We both skip today’s race. This is ours. You and me.”
“Why? I mean, you’re just going to beat me.”
But she started stretching again, and so did I. My body had begun to cool. I needed to warm it up again.
I grabbed for my toes. “Because this is it. This is our race. I’m going to beat you—”