“I got this for you months ago, before…”
Her voice trailed off as she shoved the package into my hands. “Happy belated birthday.”
Kissing my cheek awkwardly, she came and sat beside me.
“What is it?” I asked, staring down at the fancy wrapping paper and bow.
“It’s nothing special,” she mumbled, blushing. “Just something I’d been putting together for you. I almost forgot I had it. I had intended to give it to you on your birthday, but…”
We’d been fighting…
Tearing open the box, I looked inside, and gaped.
“When did you do this, princess?” I asked in awe as I took the book out of the box.
Her face reddened. “When we were together, before the…Um, it’s really not a big deal.”
I shook my head, at a loss for words.
Opening the first page of the brown, leather book, I was bombarded with emotions, as memory after memory of our life together, unfolded on the pages.
The movie stub, from that god awful chick flick we went to see, was glued to a page, along with the feather from my Peter Pan hat and a Halloween candy wrapper.
There was a Kings of Leon C.D taped to another page, along with two photo’s; one of us dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle on Halloween, and another one of us with our arms wrapped around each other, grinning, as we stood in front of that ugly-ass tree, last year.
I remembered Cam taking the photo of us at Christmas; she’d been snap-happy with her phone when she got home from the club, the night Lee and I had put up the tree.
But I hadn’t realized I’d been snapped me in those tights…
“It’s a memory book,” Lee explained quickly. “I thought…maybe it’s silly. You hate it, here; I’ll just take it…”
I held her wrist when she tried to take the book.
“No,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I love it. Thank you.”
“Oh,” she sighed blushing. “That’s good, I mean, you’re welcome.”
“Lee, baby, it’s just me. You can relax.”
I hated that she was so skittish. I wanted her to be comfortable.
I could have sworn I heard Lee mutter, “Can I?” but I wasn’t certain, so I got up and made some coffee.
“So, how are you feeling, after today?” I asked placing a cup of decaf in front of her. “You tired?”
Resting her elbows on the table; she curled her fingers around her cup, and sighed heavily. “Okay I guess. Physically, I feel fine. Emotionally, I’m a wreck.”
I’d been waiting for Lee to talk to me; to open up. Now she was, and I hadn’t a fucking clue, what to say.
She continued quickly. “I am happy you came with me today, Kyle. It felt right, like I’m not completely alone. I mean, I know I’m not, but it was nice to have you with me. It fitted, you know?”
Sitting down, I nodded and pulled one of her hands into mine.
“Yeah, I really do. I liked it too, Lee. It felt good to me.”
I paused for a second; racking my brain for something to say that would fit the situation, yet, not entirely freak her out. “You were amazing today, princess.”
She snorted, and shook her head at me. “Oh yeah, it’s such an amazing thing, to lie on the flat of my back.”
I chose to ignore the sexual innuendos, that raced through my brain.
“You were,” I said. “Seeing the baby on that screen, knowing that my son or daughter is growing inside of you as we speak, that is definitely an amazing thing. You are incredible.”
She had a pained look on her face and I feared I’d said something stupid and fucked it up again, but what she said next, took the air right out of my lungs.
“I’m sorry, Kyle.”
She squeezed my hand and continued. “I was unfair to you. I punished you because I was hurt, and I used our baby as a weapon. It was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have stopped you from coming to the hospital. This is your child, as much as it is mine. It was cruel of me, to keep you away from him.”
I couldn’t speak for a moment, while I registered what she was saying.
“You think that’s why I’m here, don’t you?” I asked her.
The look on Lee’s face confirmed my fears.
I clasped her chin forcing her to look at me.
“I want you,” I told her. “Not because of the baby, or some twisted sense of guilt. I’m here with you, fighting for you, because I want you. The baby is a bonus that I’m fucking thrilled about. But, even if you weren’t pregnant, I would still be here, with you. I don’t want to be any place else.”
She leaned into my hand. “Why, Kyle? I haven’t exactly made life easy for you.”