Fall To Pieces(28)

Cam was behaving as if she was the one with the pregnancy hormones, and I was actually beginning to find her suggestive comments about mine and Mike’s friendship, both gross and offensive.

Cam and I had been friends our entire lives, and in all my life, I had only ever been with Kyle. She knew that.

So, for her to imply that I was messing around with Kyle’s brother, while carrying his baby, showed how much mass she had in my moral fiber.

Just two nights ago, when I got back from dinner with Mike, she’d practically accused me of cheating on Kyle, with him, which I found ridiculous for two reasons.

The first being the fact, that I wasn’t with Kyle in the first place, therefore, even if I was seeing Mike-which I wasn’t-it wouldn’t constitute as cheating.

And the second; Mike had mentioned to me, that he was seeing someone, which as far as I could gather, was getting pretty serious. Mike still wouldn’t tell me who his girlfriend was, but my money was on the new girl in house-keeping he spoke about.

The other night when we grabbed a bite to eat at a diner downtown, Mike had droned on and on, for over a half an hour, about how funny this Karen girl was, so I figured she was a prime candidate for his heart.

She’d started working at the hotel around the time I had my miscarriage, which, conveniently, was around the same time Mike started dating his mysterious lady.

I was secretly delighted that he was into her so much; it made our friendship so much easier, less controversial.

And of course, Kyle was doing what Kyle did best; avoiding me.

After our talk in his car the other week, I’d hoped that we were getting places, solving some of our issues, but, nope, I’d been wrong, again.

Two days after our talk, I had broached the subject of going back to work, in my foolish assumption that, Kyle, was a conciliatory person.

He had shot me down without listening to my argument, which in turn, had elicited an even bigger argument.

A lot of stuff was said, mostly by me, and we hadn’t spoken more than a handful of sentences since.

I guessed he was giving me space, but by avoiding me, he was just making this living arrangement unbearable.

I knew why he was keeping his distance, which, at first, had made me feel bad, but now just aggravated me. I was feeling guilty, and I was mad at Kyle for making me feel guilty.

Maybe I was clutching at straws, but I needed to hold on to my anger. I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget. Or maybe I was, and I was angry with myself for giving in too easily.

Out of sheer loneliness, I’d phoned my father yesterday, to check in.

Daddy had been happy to hear from me, and was recovering well from his heart attack, in November. Most importantly of all; he had sounded sober.

We hadn’t spoken for long, just a couple of minutes, but those few minutes had given me a little peace of mind.

To be honest, I’d needed the comfort of hearing his voice.

It was a crazy thing to need, after eighteen years of hell, but Jimmy Bennett was the only family I’d ever known. As insane as it sounded, I’d needed to hear my father’s voice.

My life had changed so much in the past year that I needed the anchor of familiarity.





*****





I’d spent most of the evening outside, scooping up Bruno’s poop, and sheer boredom had induced me to pulling weeds and dead-heading the limited shrubbery in our back garden.

By the time the watery, April sun, went down, I was feeling icky and gross, and smelled a little funky. I needed a shower. I truly did.

Pressing my ear against the door of the downstairs bathroom, I could hear Derek belting out the chorus of ‘LMFAO’s Sexy and I know it.’

He’d been in the shower for over forty minutes, and considering he’d already performed two renditions of ‘Take another little piece of my heart;’ I figured he was only warming up.

“What are you doing?” Cam asked, as she rounded the corner of the hall.

I blushed, and moved away from the bathroom door, hovering awkwardly. “Nothing, I was just checking if Derek was nearly done.”

Cam sighed, and shook her head.

Grabbing my hand, she pulled me towards the stairs. “Come here, I need to show you something.”

Following Cam, I shuffled up the stairs, freezing to the spot, when she put her hand on the door knob of the upstairs bathroom.

“Cam, I can’t go back in there,” I whispered horrified.

I couldn’t. I never wanted to step foot inside that room again and see those tiles, that toilet bowl…I backed away to the far side of the hallway, my back pressing against the cool, steel door knob.

“Lee, you know I love your bones, but you need to get a grip on this, and face your fears. Come on, this is for your own good.”

“I am not ready to go in there,” I snapped, anger boiling to the surface. “Back off, Cam.”