I wasn’t sure what the correct terminology was, for complimenting a pregnant woman’s appearance, but she looked so much more than ‘well,’ and ‘good.’
Lee was sexy, undeniably, fucking sexy, and that swollen belly, knowing I’d done that? Well, that made her irresistible to me.
“Yeah, I’m doing well. I still get morning sickness sometimes, but it’s less often, than before. Apparently, it eases up for some women during the second trimester, so fingers crossed.”
She was still getting sick? Was that normal? Fuck, did she need a doctor? Jesus, I was clueless.
“And the baby?” I asked quietly, hoping like hell my voice stayed even.
She sighed happily. “Yep, he’s great. Dr. Ashcroft is really happy with him.”
My eyes jerked to Lee. “It’s a boy?” My voice came out all high and pitchy.
“No, I don’t know the sex, that’s just my own prediction. Cam thinks I’m having a girl, but he feels like a boy, to me.” She rubbed her bump. “It all makes a lot more sense now.”
I looked at her. “What does?”
She clasped her hands on her lap, twiddling her thumbs. “Why I was sick so much, before the miscarriage,” she said quietly.
I nodded, unable to answer her verbally.
I hated that word. Miscarriage. It didn’t mean enough; didn’t voice the gut wrenching, soul shattering feeling of purloined life. How could one word, define the stolen, loss of human life?
But what Lee said, made a hell of a lot of sense.
She’d been sick, vomiting on and off for months before the miscarriage. If I’d had half a brain, I would have guessed she was pregnant, or at the very least, considered that she could have been.
The first night I’d made love to her, I’d been careless, and had ended up taking her virginity, as well as getting her pregnant.
I hadn’t used a condom.
Not that I was regretting getting her pregnant, just the fact that I should have protected her.
I’d known better, she hadn’t.
I’d been rough with her, too, thoughtless and I had acted like a total fucking idiot afterwards. I’d been so wrapped up in my warped sense of duty to Rachel, so petrified of my feelings for Lee, that I’d let her down, in the worst imaginable way.
My jaw ticked, as I nodded towards her belly.
“I am so sorry, Lee. I should have known something was wrong with you. Should’ve figured it out before you…Before that happened. I should have fucking been there with you.”
I heard her sharp intake of breath and I focused on the road, waiting for her to answer.
I hoped I’d sounded calm. The last thing I want to do, was to upset her again, but she deserved an apology, and I owed her one.
She was silent for such a long time, that I thought she was going to ignore me, but then, she reached her hand towards me.
Her hand squeezed my knee, and that small gesture meant more than a thousand words.
I watched as a single tear slipped down her cheek.
“I don’t blame you anymore,” she whispered. “I know it wasn’t your fault.”
I didn’t realize how important it was for me to hear those words, until they came from her mouth.
I released a sigh, more like a choked sob.
Fixing my gaze on the road ahead, I blinked away the tears that were filling my eyes and covered her hand with mine, holding on for dear life.
The silent absolution that passed between us, was so simple, yet so profoundly comforting.
CHAPTER SIX
Lee
I was home two months-two freaking months-and Linda still hadn’t rostered me back to work. I’d tried on numerous occasions to sway her, but she was standing over Kyle’s orders.
It was an absolute joke.
Loads of pregnant women worked to full term. I was only twenty-eight weeks; I had plenty of time before the baby came, and an even pathetically larger amount of time to waste.
Being cooped up in the house like I was on my last legs, was not winning Kyle Carter any brownie points.
I spent most of my days cleaning the house, and vacuuming up dog hair.
I was bored out of my mind and lonely. I was also incredibly, irritated with my housemates; all three of them, no exceptions.
Derek was being his usual smart-assed self, and I swear, if I heard one more ‘preggers,’ or ‘got milk,’ joke come out of his mouth, I was going to lose it.
I knew his jokes were good natured, but at seven months pregnant, I didn’t have my usual patience with him.
And Cam’s mood swings were impressive, to say the least. If she wasn’t smothering me, cooing over me like a mother hen, she was screaming her head off at Derek, and accusing anyone who came within a ten mile radius, of something outrageous.