Now, he was the one pacing the floor.
“Get it out, Lee,” he said, pulling at his tie. “Say it. Get it off your chest, I know you want to.”
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. “No, I don’t.”
I felt Kyle’s hands clamp around my shoulders, but still, I kept my eyes closed.
“Come on, princess, do it,” he urged. “You need to get it out, tell me how you feel.”
“I need to go,” I cried, trying to pull away from him, not wanting to do this.
I didn’t want to go there.
Kyle held my arms tighter. “You wanted space; I’m giving it to you. You wanted time; I’m giving that to you, too. You come here looking for me to comfort you, and that’s what I’m trying to do. But it’s not fucking good enough for you, is it?” he demanded. “It will never be good enough, until you tell me how you feel. Say it, Lee. Fucking say it.”
“Alright,” I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes as emotions I’d thought I’d dealt with, burst to the surface.
“You want to know how I’m feeling? Well, I’m devastated. I’m hurt, I’m fucking crushed.” I pushed at his shoulders. “How could you do that to me, with Rachel? All the lies, Kyle, how?”
He tried to pull me into his arms, but I pushed him away, wiping at my eyes furiously.
“I feel tormented. You are tormenting me and I hate you for it.”
“I’m sorry,” he rasped, his voice torn. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t say that,” I screamed, banging on his chest with my fists.
He didn’t stop me, didn’t even try to protect himself, and he didn’t stop saying it.
He grabbed my face with his hands. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.”
“Shut up,” I roared. Pushing him back, I slapped him across the face, hard.
He dropped his hands to his sides, his chest heaved.
His voice broke. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Disgust filled my body as I realized what I’d done.
“Oh, god,” I cried as my legs gave out.
Kyle caught me before I hit the floor, and pulled me into his arms.
“Shh, baby, I got you,” he whispered, as he sat on the floor, rocking me in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed, clinging to his shirt.
Kyle stroked my back and kissed my hair. “Shh, princess, I deserved it.”
I shook my head. “What I said….” I paused, biting down on my lip in shame. “I didn’t mean it.”
He hugged me tightly. “I know. It’s okay, Lee. It’s alright, baby.”
“I don’t hate you,” I whispered. “That’s the problem.”
Turning my head so I could see his face, I stroked his reddened cheek. “I love you, and I can’t seem to stop. I can’t stop. ”
Kyle’s eyes flickered closed; his chest rose and fell raggedly.
“Don’t stop,” he whispered. “Please, don’t stop loving me.”
I watched as a tear slipped from his thick eyelashes, and I stroked my thumb over his eye, to clear it away. Kyle’s eyes opened, and fixed on mine.
Common sense abandoned me, and in a moment of madness, I placed my thumb in my mouth, tasting his salty tear.
Kyle’s mouth fell open.
Placing his hands on either side of my face, he kissed my eyelids and my cheekbones, as he wiped away my tears with his lips.
I twisted my mouth up to his, a mixture of desperation and desire pushing me forward.
Claiming his lips, I thrust my tongue into his mouth and tasted him. Kyle groaned, his thumbs traced my cheekbones as his tongue stroked mine.
Twisting in his arms, I swung one leg over him to straddle his lap as my fingers attacked his shirt buttons.
“What are doing, princess?” Kyle breathed against my lips.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I only knew, that if I stopped now, I would never forgive myself. Maybe I was delirious, but for now, I wanted him.
“Take me,” I begged, as I pushed his shirt from his shoulders. “Make it all go away.”
Kyle groaned, and slowly pushed me back.
“I can’t do this,” he whispered. “It’s wrong.”
My eyes jerked open, reality crushed over me like a tidal wave, as Kyle whispered words of rejection in my ear.
I gasped as I dragged myself off of him and scrambled away.
“Lee, wait,” Kyle hissed, climbing to his feet.
I didn’t. I ran out of his office before he could hurt me further.
*****
Kyle
Well, I really fucked that one up, I thought to myself as I watched Lee run out of my office.
I needed the coldest fucking shower I could handle. I felt dirty, like I’d done something wrong. I’d never felt dirty over anything I’d done with Lee in the past, except for now.