“Don’t,” Derek said quietly when I went to get up. “Just give her time, dude. Don’t chase her off when she’s just in the door.”
I didn’t want to listen to Derek, but he was right.
Lee was avoiding me, had been since our kiss yesterday. Obviously, she wasn’t ready to deal with me, and I sure as hell didn’t want to chase her away.
I had enough odds stacked against me; I didn’t want to add my stupid ass to the equation.
Lowering myself back down, I resumed my position of staring at the door.
“That’s all I seem to be giving her,” I muttered, as I took a slug of beer from my bottle.
I didn’t taste it; it wasn’t doing anything for me tonight. “I’m walking on eggshells around her, when I should be sorting it out.”
“And what, exactly, do you think will happen if you chase after her right now?” Derek asked in an agitated tone. “Do you think Lee is just gonna forget all the shit that happened to her, and no offence, Kyle, but most of it you caused? Do you think she’s gonna roll over like a dog? Dude, she is hurt and hormonal as shit. Keep pressurizing her and she’ll run.”
“I get that,” I groaned. “But she is carrying my baby, whose life I want to be involved in. I need to be involved in. Derek, you’ve seen the relationship I have with my father; I will not have my kid growing up all fucked up, like I did.”
“Yeah, you are pretty fucked up,” Derek agreed, swallowing a mouthful of Chow-Mein. “But Lee will come around. She’s a good girl, too good for your ugly ass. She’ll do the right thing. Give her time.”
“I hope so,” I muttered, opening another beer.
“Besides, I don’t know why you think you’ve got it so bad? You have the peace of mind of Lee being at home, I haven’t seen Cam since she tore off yesterday. All I get is a fucking text from her, saying she’s staying at a friend’s house. Lee’s pregnant, what’s Cam’s excuse for being a hormonal antichrist?”
“Maybe Cam’s pregnant?” I tossed out, since Derek had brought it up first.
It had crossed my mind, more than once in the past few weeks and would explain a whole lot. Derek was right in what he said; Cam was acting weird lately.
“Nah, man,” Derek chuckled, tossing down his carton of noodles on the coffee table. “You’re the only sperminator in this house. I’ve totally got that shit zipped up.”
I laughed so hard, I started to choke on a string bean.
“Have you any filter on that tongue of yours?” I spluttered, hacking.
Shrugging, Derek grinned, slapping me between the shoulder blades. “I’m just being real, man.”
“Oh you’re authentic all right,” I laughed. “You’re one of a kind.”
*****
Lee
It was late, well after midnight, and I couldn’t sleep.
I was wide awake, stretched out on my bed in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
My gut was clenched and my heart was thundering in my chest. I was scared. I hated the unknown.
The front door had banged loudly twenty minutes ago, and Cam and Derek were still downstairs, shouting. Well, Cam was shouting, Derek sounded like he was pleading.
Logically, I knew that I was worrying for nothing and should ignore them. But I found it impossible to shut my brain off and go to sleep, when I’d experienced eighteen years’ worth of nights, lying in my bed, afraid of the shouting and banging coming from downstairs.
The only thing that had kept me alive on those nights, had been staying awake and being prepared.
The soft knock that sounded on my bedroom door, had my heart catapulting around in my chest.
Turning my head, I watched, paralyzed on my bed, as the door opened inwards.
Kyle stood in my doorway; the soft glow coming from the light in the hallway illuminated his body.
He looked deliciously disheveled, in gray sweatpants, and a white muscle vest. His hair was ruffled, his eyes wide.
Relief poured through me first, surpassed by a surge of heady desire that was quickly snuffed out by wariness. I settled on wariness. Wariness was safe. Wariness was smart.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey.”
He hovered in the doorway. “Can I come in?”
I shrugged. “It’s your house.”
Kyle sighed. Shaking his head, he came and sat on the end of my bed. “Can we talk?”
Pulling myself up, I sat facing him, legs crossed. I nodded. “I guess.”
Kyle leaned forward, braced his hands over his knees. I waited for him to speak. Finally, he did.
“I’m not perfect, Lee,” he said quietly, staring at the ground. “I’ve never claimed to be. I fuck things up, repeatedly. I say the wrong things; I never seem to get it right with you.”