Fall(Romanian Mob Chronicles Book 2)(38)

“You care about him. He cares about you. And the Esther I know has never taken no for an answer. Not even from a Romanian mobster, if I recall.”

“That Esther was a fucking moron,” I said.

She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. That’s for you to decide. All of it is. And whatever you do decide, I’ll always be here. But ask yourself this question: is he worth the risk?”

And then she said nothing, just waited, not expectantly, and not disinterestedly. No, she did what Fawn always did for me, and was simply there.

I growled in frustration and then sat up. “I’m gonna have some wine and think,” I said. “But I’ll tell you one thing, Fawn. Your friend, Natasha, was a bitch.”





Twenty-One





Sorin



Four Weeks Later…



“You coming?” Vasile said.

I considered it, then shook my head. “No. Kiss the baby for me.”

He nodded, patted my shoulder, and then left Familie.

Before, I would have hung with some of the guys, gone to Vasile’s. But being with them only reminded me of not being with Esther. But being alone was almost unbearable. Maria, Vasile, Fawn, they helped, but I’d intruded enough.

I’d never believed in love, scarcely gave thought to pain, but the days since I’d last seen Esther had given lie to all of those beliefs and lack thereof. I craved her, needed her. And not just her body, which I missed, skin that I could still feel against my palms, breathy moans, sharp inhales I could hear as she closed around me. But I wouldn’t experience them again, so I tried to forget, something that seemed impossible.

That was why being alone was so bad. There was nothing to distract me, nothing to stop me from wishing that maybe, if I had been born somewhere else, been born someone else, I might be a man who could protect her, be with her.

I stood abruptly, headed toward the door.

I hadn’t been and I wasn’t, so I would leave her alone, let her live her life, find a nice, normal man, have a family.

I ignored the quick stab in my chest as the image of Esther holding someone else’s child in her arms flashed in my mind, and instead focused on the one thing I could do, keep her safe.

Clan soldiers that I had assigned to watch her reported to me daily, and I craved news of her comings and goings as much as a man in the desert craved water. Stories of Esther going to work, the grocery store, to visit Fawn, it was the very air I breathed, the only things that helped me make it through the day.

“We’re not open to the public. Get out!”

At the sound of Nicki’s voice, I ran out of the back room and into the main restaurant, which was indeed not open to the public. I saw Nicki squared off with Esther who looked for all the world like she intended to run him right over. It reminded me of the first time I’d met her.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

And the most grueling.

It reminded me so much of that first time, the fearlessness, her bravery, her stupidity. All of the things that I loved about her. All the reasons that I had to make sure she lived, even if it was without me.

“Esther! What are you doing here?” I said scornfully, using my most fearsome voice.

Esther didn’t even bat a lash.

“What does it look like?”

“Looks like you’re trying to trespass. That can have consequences,” I said, my voice stern and ice-cold, but my heart that only she’d ever managed to find, setting off in a hope-filled gallop.

She pulled herself to her full height, brimming with the challenge that had drawn me to her. “Consequences? Really? Why don’t you tell me about them?”

I smiled quickly, but then recovered, turning my face down into a scowl. “It’s okay, Nicki. I’ll take her home.”

He relaxed as did Esther, her expression softer, eyes on mine. I grabbed her elbow and headed to my car, ignoring the thrill that went through me when I touched her, focusing on how happy I was that she hadn’t pulled away. I didn’t look at her, though, knowing that one glimpse would break my resolve.

“Let’s go,” I said firmly as I seated her in the car.

The ride was torturous, each second with her reminding me of the seconds that had come before, the seconds that would soon be over, the long loneliness that again confronted me when she was gone.

“Why are you being stupid, Esther?”

I looked at her as I said it, a grave error. Her face was shadowed by the darkness of the night, but I saw the set of her jaw, the smooth, soft skin between her neck and collarbone, and couldn’t help but remember how wildly she responded when I licked that spot.

“Sorin,” she said softly, voice, a husky, questioning whisper, pulling me back from my thoughts.