The boys nodded silently.
“Have you?”
They still said nothing, and the room was silent save for a whimper that one couldn’t manage to suppress. Christoph Senior scoffed and then looked back to me.
“I should kill them just for that, but it’s your choice,” he said.
I looked at one and then the other, but I didn’t see them, not really. I saw Esther, what would have happened to her if I hadn’t been there.
“Give me your hand,” I said, gaze settling on the one who was clearly the leader after Anton sliced the duct tape that had held them.
He shook his head, turned pleading eyes to Christoph, Petey, and then, when there was no other option, Anton.
All stared at him with identical grim expressions on their faces. I watched as he looked back at me, saw his mind churning as he tried to guess what I might do. Saw the fear that he no longer tried to hide.
Saw the exact moment when he accepted that I was the only way out of this room.
He reached out, hand trembling so violently that Christoph turned his face down even farther and shook his head in disgust. I let his hand hang there, let his fear build until a broken sob escaped his throat.
Then I grabbed his hand. It trembled in my grip, so I held it tighter, looked into his eyes as I reached into my pocket. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened as I retrieved the knife. Eyes still on his, I pressed the knife against his thumb, pressed until it settled in his thumb joint.
Pressed harder, felt the skin give under the sharp blade, then the bone. Then pressed harder and then harder until his thumb gave way with a spurt of blood that splashed into the kid’s face.
I let him go, watched as he convulsed in his chair, eyes bouncing between his mangled hand and his now detached thumb.
“I think they’ve learned their lesson,” I said to Christoph over the kid’s screams.
I could have gone much further, would have not too long ago, and I wondered why that mercy had come so quickly and so naturally. I knew myself well enough to know that even a week ago, I wouldn’t have shown mercy, knew the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. But I thought of Esther, of how she would feel if she knew they were dead, and then decided to be merciful.
I also decided this would have to stop. She was getting to me, far too easily, making me soft when doing so had the potential to be deadly.
I had to keep my distance.
“Petey, why don’t you take me out?” I said, headed out the way I’d come, Petey beside me, the sound of Anton’s fist making contact with flesh ringing out beside us.
“Of course!” he said, a huge grin on his face.
Then he smacked me on the shoulder and dragged me deeper into the club. Not the way I wanted to spend my evening, but at least with Petey, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get away, that he wouldn’t give me space and time to think about breaking my resolve and going to her.
* * *
Sorin
I held out for four days.
Told myself I didn’t want to be bothered.
Which was why I was currently sitting on her front steps like a lost little puppy waiting for her.
I laughed mirthlessly, wondering what my brother would say if he saw me here. Wondering what I would’ve said to myself three weeks ago if someone had told me I’d be doing this.
Fuck it, I thought as I stood and headed toward my car. I didn’t wait for anyone, and I certainly didn’t come to apologize, which I knew she would expect, so no sense wasting more of my time or hers.
But as I reached for the door handle, I looked back, saw a shadow and then looked up at the figure walking toward me and immediately recognized it as Esther.
I stopped and ignored the surge that went through me at the sight of her, the way that my heart began to pound ever so slightly harder, and not because of the anger that had been on a low boil.
No, it was seeing her that did it. And that scared the fuck out of me.
I watched as she approached slowly, strides still strong and sure but lacking their usual energy.
I saw her jump and then stop when she looked in my direction and recognized me. But in the shadowy night, I couldn’t see her reaction to her first glimpse, and that annoyed me, leaving me at a disadvantage.
“Hey,” she said as she stopped to stand in front of me.
“Hey,” I replied.
And then we stood in the darkness, neither speaking. And so, finally, on an exhale she said, “I’m sorry, Sorin, but I’m—”
“No I’m sorry, Esther. I’m tired today, so you won’t be able to take advantage of me,” I said smoothly.
That got a faint smile.
“So I’ll see you later, I guess,” she said as she headed toward the stairs.
Ignoring how nonchalant she was, I grabbed her hand and smiled at her when she looked back at me, and hooked my arm into hers.