Fairytale Love - Becca & Brian(13)

As he reached the top of the stairs, a slideshow of Becca sitting across  from him in that booth over the years played through Brian's mind.  Starting with them in grade school, her hair in two braids as she smiled  a toothless smile and they drank malts after school. Then middle  school, her mouth filled with braces, her hair in curls because she'd  permed it. Then in high school, her hair straight and shiny as she  stuffed french fries-her junk food of choice from ages fourteen to  eighteen-into her mouth.

While thinking about those times-or any time he'd spent with Becca-Brian  realized that those were the happiest moments of his life. She was his  happy place.

Had he always loved her and just been too blind to see it?

Brian felt like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his  heart like it was a lemon and they were making lemonade, like it was in  wedged between a vise and someone was turning the crank.

No. He shook off that thought. She'd just been his friend. He never even cared when she dated other guys.

A small voice piped up in his mind pointing out the fact that maybe he'd  never cared because he'd always known that he'd held the number one  place in her life. If things had gotten serious with any of them, he was  not so sure he would have been so okay with it.

Stepping into his room, the room he'd grown up in, he immediately moved  to his window to open it and get some fresh air. He wanted to try to  clear his head, and the heat in his room, from being closed up all day,  was stifling. He lifted the brass lock on the glass pane and was sliding  it up when he heard his mom's voice sounding more than a little  distressed. He couldn't see her, but he figured they must be out on the  small patio off the master bedroom, which was directly below his room.

He was just about to run downstairs to make sure that everything was  okay when the words she was saying registered in his consciousness.

"No, Frank. I forbid it. You are not going back full time. Dr. Corbin  said that you need to retire and you are going to retire. There has to  be another way. We'll sell the house."

"Even if we sold the house, it wouldn't pay off the second mortgage,  much less a semester of tuition. I'm fine, Maggie. I'm strong. This is  the only way." His dad's voice sounded resolute.

From what Brian had observed over the years, most of the time, his dad  backed down if his mom was really upset. But there were a few times  when, no matter how upset his mom got, his dad had remained unmoved. If  the tone he'd just heard was any indication, this was going to be one of  those times.                       
       
           



       

"She doesn't have to go to Harvard. She can just go to a JC like Brian  did. And we'll figure something out with Brenden. Maybe he can get  financial aid."

"No. If we made too much for Brittney to qualify then it will be the  same story with Brenden. And Brit's not going to a JC. She's worked too  hard. I'm going back to the shop. Full time."

Brian heard the metal legs of the patio chair scrape against the  concrete slab and then the loud swoosh of the screen door that led into  his parents' room. He slumped into his desk chair, thinking that both  his mom and dad had gone to bed, or at least were in their room, when he  heard the muffled sound of his mom crying.

Brian's heart broke into a million pieces. His parents were good,  hard-working people who'd been dealt a shitty hand by life. But they  hadn't folded. No. They'd sacrificed and worked themselves to the bone,  no matter what hardships they'd had, all for their kids.

There was no way that Brian was going to let the burden of his younger  siblings' tuition force his dad to come out of retirement. He didn't  know how, but he did know he'd find a way. If it meant forgoing his  return to NYU and staying here to run the shop with his cousin, then so  be it. He might have to get a second job to make ends meet, but he was  young, healthy, and able. He couldn't say the same for his parents.

As much as he wanted to go downstairs and comfort his mom, Brian knew  that's not what she would want. Both of his parents were proud people,  and the last thing they'd want to do would be to accept more of his  help.

He'd have to figure out a way to convince them that he wasn't  sacrificing his dreams, his goals, his life to stay here. Brian stood  and removed his jeans. As he grabbed a pair of sweats that were lying on  the floor next to his bed and slipped them on, his mind was already  working on a strategy to approach his parents.

Lying down on his back, he rubbed his hands over his face. So much of  his life was confusing, and he had no idea what his future held. The  only thing that he knew was that, right now, all he wanted to do was  call Becca. His best friend.

* * *

Becca stared at her reflection in the mirror as she ran a brush through  her thick, dark hair. Deep circles lay beneath her eyes. Her skin was  naturally fair but actually looked several shades paler than usual. Of  course, it's not like the fluorescent overhead lighting in the bathroom  was doing her any favors, but still. She would be the first to admit  that she wasn't looking her best.

It had been a long day, she reminded herself. Since she and Brian had  left the airport, Becca felt like she'd been strapped into an emotional  roller coaster that had done flips, turns, and drops at high speeds. The  audition had been some serious flips and turns, and then the big drop  of the day had been when she and Brian had been sitting in the jeep and  they'd almost kissed. Becca knew that it had really happened, that it  had not been her overactive imagination.

Even thinking about it now made her stomach feel like an atrium filled  with butterflies flitting around. If she closed her eyes, she could  still feel the warmth of Brian's sweet breath fanning across her cheeks.  She could smell the clean scent that was uniquely Brian. She could  still hear her heartbeat pulsing rapidly in her head in anticipation of  feeling the soft fullness of Brian's lips against hers.

Reaching up, Becca ran her fingers along her bottom lip. For some  reason, she knew what kissing Brian would feel like. It was as if a  phantom kiss was imprinted on her psyche. Her body had a stored memory  of Brian's kiss. Becca just wasn't sure if it was a drunken fantasy  memory or if it was a reality memory.

She did know that, if Krista hadn't knocked on the window tonight,  whether or not her abstract remembrance of a kiss that may or may not  have taken place were real would have been irrelevant because a very  real, very sober kiss would have taken place inside Brian's Jeep parked  outside her sister's house.

As much as that little factoid excited Becca, it also scared the living  daylights out of her. Sure, she'd been fantasizing about that (and  more!) happening between her and Brian for the better part of a year,  but fantasy and reality were two very different things. Tonight, as  she'd sat beside Brian during dinner, her mind had been speeding down  the what-if highway, swerving around logic-cars and putting the pedal to  the metal in the holy-crap-it-could-happen fast lane.

After mentally coasting on jumping-to-conclusion-fumes before finally  running out of panic-fuel, she'd decided that, even if by some miracle  Brian wanted to take things to the next level, it would not be worth it.  Maybe they'd have a shot at happily ever after if they lived in the  same state. But she was in school in California and he was either going  to be in Harper's Crossing or New York for the next few years. Becca  might not have that much experience in the romance department, but she  did know that long distance was a recipe for disaster.                       
       
           



       

So, inevitably, they would not work. Then what? Would they just go back  to being friends? She seriously doubted that that would be case. Sure,  they might still talk, try to pretend that nothing had changed, but  things would be different … strained. Which, sadly, they already were. But  at least, now, she could still fix it. She just had to stop being weird  around him.

No more pulling away from him because a thrum of need was running  through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, which was  what had happened when he'd hugged her goodnight. No more almost kisses.  No more longing gazes. No more mental drives down the what-if highway  of love.

She heard Cher's voice giving sage advice from Moonstruck saying, "Snap out of it!"

Yes, Cher. That was exactly what she needed to do; because if she  didn't, the alternative was more than Becca could bear to think about.

Basically, taking things to the next level-no matter how badly her body  and soul wanted to go there-was not worth losing Brian for. Nothing was  worth losing Brian.

Becca knew that-in her mind. She just needed to convince her heart and hormones that it was the right decision.