FOREVER MINE(39)
From her conversations with him over dinner, she could tell that Parnell Cabot was a charming, soft-spoken, hard-working man who didn’t need a lot of trimmings and frills to make him happy. What she’d really liked about him was the fact that unlike a lot of guys she’d dated, he didn’t have an arrogant bone in his body. And when he’d told her about his two four-year-old daughters and how he had lost his wife just days before their first birthday, it had been just heartbreaking to know the depth of what he had lost and her heart had gone out to him.
That was one of the reasons when she’d arrived in Anchorage a month ago, and upon hearing about the fix he was in with a babysitter, she had approached him about the job. After all, it wasn’t like she had a lot to do during the day while in town visiting Sage. And she did not regret her decision. Joya and LaToya were adorable little girls. They were well-mannered, which meant Parnell had done a good job in raising them.
She turned around when she heard the back door opening. The happy squeals from Joya and LaToya meant their daddy was home. Rose glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only a little past three. They hadn’t been expecting him for another two hours.
* * *
After picking up his daughters in his arms and giving them both tight hugs, Parnell placed them back on the floor and glanced across the room at Rose and immediately felt a thickness in his throat; a familiar stirring in his gut. She stood at the kitchen window looking so compellingly female wearing a pair of leggings, a pull-over sweater that emphasized her curves and a pair of snow boots. His reaction to her was spontaneous and for a brief moment, he was rendered speechless. She was wearing the same outfit she’d had on earlier, but then he had tried not to stare at her too much. Now he couldn’t help himself.
“You’re early.”
The sound of her voice floated over to him and he glanced down at the girls, mainly so he could stop staring at her. And then when he felt a little more in control, he looked back at her and said. “The weather report indicates a snow storm might be headed this way so I ended the work day early so the men could get home safely.”
She glanced back out the window. “The snow is coming down pretty heavy. Now that you’re home I guess it’s best that I head out myself.”
“No. Stay.”
When she lifted her brows, he said, “What I mean is that I’m not sure you should go out in it now. You might as well eat dinner with me and the girls and spend the night.”
“Tomorrow is Saturday.”
He sighed tiredly, knowing why she was reminding him of that fact. Usually when she left on Friday evening they didn’t see her again until Monday, unless they ran into her at church on Sunday. “I know but with Sage out of town you’ll be there all by yourself. Besides, I’d like to talk to you later.”
What he didn’t say was, ‘after the girls have gone to bed’. She must have figured out what he couldn’t say because after glancing down at the girls and studying them for a moment, she nodded and said, “Okay. I can leave in the morning after breakfast.”
He couldn’t help but smile; feeling somewhat relieved. He did need to apologize to her. “Thanks Rose.”
“You’re welcome.”
Four
A few hours later, Rose was staring at the snow through the living room window. It was a huge floor-to-ceiling bay window and she could see a lot more out of it than she could out of the kitchen window. The afternoon was long gone and the night gripped the sky in a cold clutch. The only light were the stars that dotted the sky and a half moon. But she could clearly see the snowflakes that fell to earth, bathing the area in a mound of what appeared to be white frosting.
A shiver passed through her and she wrapped her arms around herself. Not that she was cold, far from it. Occasionally, her body would remind her of the oath of celibacy she had taken a few months ago. Not being intimate with a man when she felt the need was something new to her, but something she had successfully overcome. She had learned that there was more to life than indulging in meaningless affairs. But she would be the first to admit being celibate had its challenges; especially when she was constantly around a man like Parnell. The man was oozing in sensual sexuality and didn’t even know it.
He probably didn’t have a clue of what he did to her every time he would smile over at her, or what seeing him in a pair of jeans and a shirt did to her inner feminine muscles. Just like she was pretty sure that he had no idea of her secret infatuation with him. She knew it was a foolish notion; after all she was far from being a school girl experiencing her first crush. And that in a way was where the problem lay.
She was a woman in the fullest sense of the word. She was the same person who while a freshman in college had experienced her first real orgasm with a senior guy and had felt cheated that she had dated her high school sweetheart for an entire year and that having sex with him hadn’t given her any such pleasure.
Thinking of pleasure immediately made her reflect on Parnell. Dinner with him and the girls had been great. She could tell Joya and LaToya had enjoyed having her there, and she appreciated the extra time she’d gotten to spend with them. It hadn’t been the first time she had stayed overnight. In fact after that first hard snow storm a few weeks ago when she had gotten stranded here; and seeing how bad weather could pop up out the clear blue sky, she had made it a point to keep the guest room ready with extra clothing for that possibility.
She turned when she heard Parnell come into the living room. He had been tucking the girls into bed. She watched him cross the room toward her and couldn’t help it when her heart began beating a mile a minute or when the sharp talons of feminine responsiveness bit into her all over, making her fully aware of him as a man. Tall, broad-shouldered and very well-built, he looked exceedingly handsome wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans and boots. And as she studied his features, she could tell he was tired. A couple of days this week he and his crew had worked overtime. Periods of bad weather had thrown the project behind schedule but she knew he and his men had been trying to make up for lost time.
“Still snowing?” he asked softly, coming to stand beside her to look out the window.
She tried not to feel his heat but couldn’t help it. Even without touching her he was able to send warmth through her. It was a drugging sensation and she fought to retain her senses. “Yes, and worse than before,” she said, looking up at him.
Then when moments passed and he didn’t say anything she said, “You indicated earlier that you wanted to talk to me.” She wondered what he wanted to discuss. Surely she couldn’t dare hope that he’d changed his mind since this morning.
He nodded. “Yes, let’s sit down for a minute.” She crossed the room and moved to the sofa and he sat down in the wingback chair.
He didn’t say anything at first. Then he said, “I want to apologize for my outburst at lunch. It was thoughtless and uncalled for and I regret it if I offended you in any way. My only excuse, although a poor one, is that the contents of your proposal caught me by surprised.”
She saw the sincerity in his eyes and said, “I understand.” And really she did. She hadn’t only asked to become a part of his household, she had asked that she be allowed to become enmeshed into their lives and that he one day father her child. He had mentioned something about her being cheated out of the chance to ever find the right guy. The same could be said about her proposal hindering him in finding the right woman. A woman he could fall in love with; a love that could be just as strong and enduring as the one he had with the girls’ mother.
“And I owe you an apology as well, Parnell.”
“No, you don’t. You were only thinking of me and the girls.”
She shook her head. “And I was also thinking of myself. I’ve grown to love Joya and LaToya and it would hurt knowing the three of you had to be separated for any reason.”
But what she wouldn’t tell him, what she couldn’t tell him, was just how much being around the girls had stirred longings within her regarding having a family of her own. She hadn’t been able to stop imagining how it would be to have a baby, taking loving care of it and watching it grow up, bathed in her love. She truly believed that she had the ability to make any child a good mother. And it wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t hear her biological clock ticking each day, reminding her that at twenty-eight, she didn’t have much time left.
“And I do appreciate your concern, Rose, but I have to believe things are going to work out for me and the girls,” Parnell said breaking into her thoughts.
“Yes, I’m sure they will and I want to give you one less thing to worry about by saying I will continue to keep the girls until you find a replacement.”
She saw acute heart-felt gratitude in the depths of his eyes at the same time he let go a relieved sigh. “Thanks. I appreciate that. It means a lot. I plan to place an ad in the paper first thing next week. I’m hoping the results will be a lot better than the other times.”
A few moments passed and then he cleared his throat and glanced down at his watch. “It’s getting late and I’m sure you’re tired from today. If the weather clears up tomorrow, I promised the girls that I would take them to the zoo.”