FOREVER MINE(14)
Hearing that didn’t make Sonya’s next statement easy to make. “He also told me last weekend that he loved me.”
Carla actually dropped the fork from her hand and ignored the clink when it hit the floor. Her chin, Sonya noticed, had dropped as well. She actually looked shocked. “He did what?”
“You heard me right. It was after we’d spent the night together and before you ask me to confirm what I just said, the answer is yes. We finally got around to doing it. It was either that or to continue to drive each other batty.”
“And he told you he loved you?” Carla asked, as she gave an apologetic smile to the waiter who handed her another fork.
Sonya nodded. “Yes, the next morning after we’d eaten breakfast.” Knowing what would probably be Carla’s next question, she said. “And there was no misunderstanding in what he said.”
Carla didn’t say anything for a long moment; she just sat there and studied Sonya. After a brief length of time. “And what did you say?” in a voice like she was almost too afraid to ask.
Sonya took a sip of her tea. “What do you think I said? You know me Carla, better than anyone. I don’t sleep with men for them to fall in love with me, nor I with them. It’s about the enjoyment. The pleasure. The sex.”
“And you told that to Mike?”
“Yes.”
“But you haven’t slept with anyone for over a year. Why do you think you held yourself back from others?”
Sonya sensed where Carla was trying to go with this and said. “I know why I held myself back. The kiss that Mike and I shared that time I had the kids over, not only blew my mind it also messed with it something awful. It actually had me convinced that I wouldn’t want anyone until I had him. However, being the stubborn person that I am, I wasn’t ready to concede that I wanted him. He was taboo, off limits, forbidden. But then last weekend I decided my peace of mind meant more to me than worrying about crossing color lines so I slept with him. Now I’m okay. I can move on. He’s completely out of my system.”
Carla leaned back in her chair with concern in her eyes. “Are you sure of that?”
“Sure of what?”
“That you’re okay and that he’s completely out of your system?”
“Of course.”
“And Mike saying that he loves you means absolutely nothing to you . . . because you don’t love him back.” Carla’s words were presented as a statement and not a question, therefore, Sonya didn’t feel it needed answering. But she did say. “I’m sure he’ll figure out that he’s totally wrong about those feelings sooner or later.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
Sonya nervously licked her lips. “Of course he will. He’s had women before I’m sure; several of them. I just surprised him in bed. I wasn’t what he expected. Remember he said he didn’t do chocolate.”
Carla rolled her eyes. “Is that what this is all about? You proving him wrong or him proving you wrong?”
“No, of course not. We had dispensed with all of that before we made it to the bedroom. We slept together for pleasure.”
“And not love.”
“Yes, and not love.”
Carla didn’t say anything for a quick minute and then. “I gather from Jesse that Mike isn’t someone who expounds on his emotions freely. In fact, Jesse really thought there wasn’t a woman out there capable of capturing Mike’s heart. You’ve proven him wrong.”
Sonya shrugged. “And like I said, he’ll get over it.”
Carla looked at her with a very serious expression. “I hope you don’t make the same mistake with Mike that I made with Jesse. A woman finds true love only once in her lifetime and when she does, she doesn’t turn her back on it. She cherishes it and adores the man who gives it to her.”
She paused and then added. “You’re right, if you have captured Mike’s heart he will get over it eventually. But it will cost you his love if you later decide you made a mistake and that he’s the man for you. By then it will be too late. You would have lost him, Sonya. So think about what you’re doing. You could lose him. Do you really want to do that?”
Sonya lifted her chin. “Why would I care?”
Carla reached across the table and captured her best friend’s hand in hers. “Because I think that deep down you do love Mike, but you’re afraid to admit it. You’re afraid to give your heart to him or any man. You don’t want to take the chance of getting hurt. Admit it and think about it.”
* * *
Sonya thought a lot about it on her way back to the office; especially when she got there and found yet another floral arrangement on her desk that had been sent from Mike. The card from the first arrangement had merely said... Thinking of you on Valentine’s Day.
This card said. I want you. Come by my place later.
She drew in a quick breath and at the same time she felt a quickening in the pit of her stomach. What was there about Mike that could drive her to stimulated desire so quickly and easily? Instead of getting a grip on reality, she wanted to get a grip on a certain part of him instead. She had liked the way it had fit in her hand; it felt both hard and smooth to the touch. And she had liked his taste. It was so uniquely his.
Feeling breathless, she opened her desk drawer and slid in the card to join the other one and then let out a long sigh when she felt a telltale ache between her legs. Why had he sent the flowers? Hadn’t he heard anything she’d said on Saturday? It was as if he had chosen to ignore the words she had spoken.
She got up from her desk and walked over to the window and looked out. At least he hadn’t said anything on the card about loving her and that was good. He had said he wanted her, which was language she understood, something she could handle. Mainly because she wanted him too, but she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about anything. Should she call him and plan to meet with him later? They never did get a second day of lovemaking like they had planned. As far as she was concerned, he still owed her that.
She shook her head, not believing where her mind was going. What was there about Mike that made her go crazy, and not to think logically? She walked back to her desk to sit down. She had plenty of work to do to keep her busy and after work she would head straight for home.
To her house and not Mike’s.
Eight
Dragging in a deep breath, Sonya stiffened her spine before pressing Mike’s doorbell. On the drive over she’d tried convincing herself that the only reason she had taken the exit off Interstate 4 instead of going straight home was because Mike had sent her two arrangements of flowers. That meant he deserved for her to at least deliver a thank-you in person. Flowers weren’t cheap these days.
She almost jumped when his voice came through the intercom system by the door. “Who is it?”
“It’s Sonya.”
“Punch in 50799 and come on in.”
After punching in the numbers she slowly opened the door, wondering if she would find him half naked and working out on his exercise equipment like before.
“Hello, Sonya.”
She nearly jumped again. She hadn’t expected to find him in the living room standing by the window with his hands in his pockets. “Mike.”
She then took a deep breath. “I’m not here because you asked me to come.”
He lifted a brow. “You’re not?”
“No.”
“Then why are you here?”
She shrugged, trying not to notice how good he looked. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a pullover sweater. His feet were bare and his hair was damp which gave her the impression he hadn’t long taken a shower. “I dropped by to thank you for the flowers today.”
“You could have called,” he said moving a few feet away from the window.
Her eyes narrowed. “Yes, but considering the cost of flowers, I thought you deserved a personal thank-you.”
He leaned against the arch that separated his dining room from his living room. “I can afford the flowers, Sonya.”
“I’m sure you can but . . .”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “But what?”
“I’ve never gotten flowers before. And you sent two of them.” She held his gaze and then she asked. “Why?”
* * *
A part of Mike couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with Sonya when what he really wanted to do was cross the room and kiss her senseless. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Chalk it up to pure arrogance on his part, but he truly believed that she loved him, and like he’d told her last week, she was too afraid to admit it; too afraid to give her heart to any man for fear of it getting broken. He knew the feeling, but if he was willing to take a chance on love then he wanted her to be willing to take a chance as well.
With him.
He was well aware that she thought the only thing between them was sex, but he knew differently. The sex had been good. Real good. But he believed the main reason it had been so good was because love, not lust, had been the driving force behind everything they had done that night; everything they had shared. Every single orgasm they had experienced.
“Mike?”
It then occurred to him that she was waiting on a response about why he’d sent the flowers. “You know why I sent them, Sonya. It’s Valentine’s Day. And I will continue to send them, even after we’re married.”