I ripped myself out of his grasp and, as my parents squawked their protest, left. If I had stayed, the only thing I could have said to my parents would have been a bitter “I hope you’re happy” anyway.
No, instead I left. I walked past the well to-do patrons and nice tables and pleasant meals I would never have. I walked away from the only man I had ever truly loved.
As soon as I stepped outside, his voice followed me: “Claire—Claire!”
I kept on walking. He jogged up beside me.
“Claire, I’m sorry. I just…don’t lie.”
I turned to him, tears in my eyes. “I know, Blake, and that’s the problem. You truly don’t feel about me how I feel about you.”
“I wasn’t finished yet,” he said.
I said nothing, and he continued. “You left before you gave me a chance to explain. I don’t know what my business is with you; I don’t know what I want, with you or with anything. All I know is that every morning, for the first time in my life, I’ve been waking up excited, that every night when I go to bed, I almost don’t want to, don’t want to leave you for such a short time as it is.”
I sat down on a nearby bench. “So what does this mean?” I asked my dirt-covered sneakers.
“This means, Claire, that I want to be with you,” Blake said, grasping my hand, “if you want to be with me.”
I turned to face him, the words coming out of me in a rush. “You know I do.”
He nodded, and then his face darkened.
“I just… What I worry is that I may not be all that you need. I don’t know if I’ll be able to adapt to life in the city or be the man you can brag to your family and friends about. Claire, I don’t think I’ll be happy if I move away from Aspen.”
I clasped his hand and nodded my head. “I know, Blake,” I said, and looked up into his blue, blue eyes. “Which is why I want to live with you, in your cabin—if you’ll have me.”
Blake stood up, lifted me into his arms, and spun me.
“When can you move in?”
Laughing as he put me down, I kissed him.
“Now.”
His face happier than I’d ever seen it, Blake took my hand, squeezed it, and began walking back the way we’d come, saying, “We’d better get going then. I have an answer to give your parents.”
After dinner, my parents weren’t convinced, though that was the least of our problems. As we sat on the same bench outside Cache Cache as before, about to muster ourselves for the hike back to Blake’s cottage, I noticed it. There was a message on my phone from Lila: “Just got in! Where are you? Want to meet now?”
That had been five hours ago, and I was already exhausted just thinking about it. “What about the Aspen Hickory House tomorrow at 12 for lunch?” is what I texted her. Her response came a minute later: “Great! See ya there.”
I turned to Blake with lowered eyes. Now that we’d just barely gotten through one interrogation, I was supposed to tell him that tomorrow we were going to another?
“What is it?” Blake asked.
“It’s Lila,” I said, “my friend from back home. She’s come to visit. She wants me to meet her for lunch.”
“Okay,” Blake said. “Did you tell her about me?”
“No,” I said, and his face darkened.
“Well, do you want me to go?”
Our bench was in front of a park. At the sound of a squawk, I turned and watched as one bird called to another, over and over and over again, until the other bird flew off into the sky, away. Well, did I want him to go?
I turned back to Blake and stared into his eyes. How did I tell him that I did want him to go, but I was afraid? Afraid that after all this badgering and hassle, he was not going to want to stay?
“I don’t have to go,” Blake said with a casual air, though an irritated crease between his eyebrows gave him away.
“No. I want you to,” I said. “It’s just… You’re okay with staying in town for the night? At a hotel?”
Blake nodded. “I don’t have a lot of money because I didn’t expect a big expense like this, but it’ll be enough.”
“Oh, you don’t have to pay for mine,” I said, “if that’s what you were thinking.”
Blake shook his head. “No, I want to.”
“Blake, I mean it. It’s fine.”
He took my hand, and said, “Claire, I want to.” Then, smiling, he added, “This is our first night sleeping over in a nice place. Have any preferences?”