"I saw you laughing in his arms when I came downstairs," Noah said.
Realization and surprise raced through her. "You can't think there's anything going on between Jonathan and me. Not if you have half a brain."
He leaned against a railing. "Maybe I don't where you're concerned," he muttered. "He's just a man. He could fall for you."
Martina stared at Noah in disbelief. "Do you have a screw loose? Look at me," she said. "Really look at me and tell me, what do you see?"
He looked at her for a long time. He looked at her so long Martina resisted the urge to squirm. "I see a beautiful woman pregnant with my child," he said quietly.
Martina groaned. "I appreciate the beautiful part. That's very nice, but the truth of the matter is, I have a lot in common with the Titanic at the moment. I am not gently pregnant. Most men who look at me are either filled with horrified curiosity or fear that I'm going to give birth any minute. I can tell you they are not looking at me with lust. And the only reason you might have any lust is because you are the fa-" She cut herself off, not wanting to say the words, not wanting to reinforce the connection between them.
"Because I am the what, Martina? Finish what you were going to say." Noah moved closer to her.
Her heart jumped. "I … I was just going to say something about you donating genetic material."
"No, you weren't," he said, gently backing her against the wall. "You were going to say something else. Tell me, Martina."
"I … I … " She swallowed at the fierce expression on his face.
"What were you going to say?"
Trapped, she glared at him. "Okay, I was going to say you're the father. It doesn't change anything for me to say it. I'm still leaving tomorrow."
* * *
Chapter 11
«^»
"This cigar sucks," Noah said, tossing the stub of one of Gideon's cigars over the porch railing.
"I coulda told you that," Jonathan said, strolling onto the front porch. "Gideon could see you were miserable as hell and in his ignorance he thought a cigar would make you feel better."
Noah knew Jonathan and Gideon were holding an ongoing battle over Gideon's cigar usage. Ever since Jonathan had permanently hurt his leg in the rodeo, he'd become a different man, leading a cleaner life and taking more pleasure in simple things. More than ever, he was the peacemaker among Noah and his brothers. In fact his battle with Gideon was conducted with a more mild, verbal reproach, rather than stinging insults.
Noah longed for the easy, reassuring relationship he'd always shared with Jonathan, but at the moment, he wasn't sure if his brother was carrying a mile-high crush on Martina.
Jonathan joined him at the railing and inhaled the night air. "You've come up with some harebrained ideas before, but this one takes the cake," he said as if he could read Noah's mind.
Noah glanced at his brother in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"You don't really think I'm after the woman you intend to marry, do you?" Jonathan asked.
Noah shrugged. "Martina's a beautiful, challenging woman. It would be hard for a man not to fall for her."
Jonathan shook his head. "You must be so ga-ga over her that you can't see straight."
Noah resented the implication that he was out of control. "I can see just fine. You were dancing with her, and you two were laughing. Sounded pretty damn cozy to me."
"Ga-ga," Jonathan repeated. "Totally ga-ga. For Pete's sake, Noah, the woman is so pregnant with your baby she looks like you could say boo and she'd have the child on the spot."
"So?"
Jonathan groaned. "Can't you see that she feels totally out of place here in no-woman's-land? If one of us doesn't talk to her a little, she's gonna think we all hate her guts. Adam is convinced her brothers are going to ride over here and try to burn down the house, and Gideon is convinced she's got some kind of voodoo power, since she's able to make you act so crazy."
"Crazy," Noah echoed. "I'm not acting crazy."
"Thinking I'm after the woman who's carrying your baby isn't crazy?" Jonathan asked. "Think about it."
Noah reconsidered and felt a trace of foolishness trickle through. He glanced at Jonathan. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Love makes fools of us all."
Noah shifted uncomfortably. "For the most part, I've kept a clear head about Martina. I'm committed to her, but I wouldn't say I'm in love with her."
Jonathan laughed aloud. "Well, you'd damn well better be, because nothing else is gonna work with her."
Noah frowned. "What do you mean? You know I've never gotten too worked up over the idea of being in love with a woman. I'm not even sure I believe in it." He felt an odd twinge at his words, as if they didn't adequately cover his feelings on the matter as well as they once did. "Besides," he continued, "Martina and the baby are too important to let emotions cloud what I need to do."
"Hate to tell you this, bro, but your emotions already have. Maybe your problem is you've been trying to keep your heart out of this."
Noah fought a wave of uneasiness. "I still don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Do you really think Martina's the kind of woman who is gonna respond well to a calculated play for her?"
"Well, no." Noah rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "Maybe not."
"You know her a lot better than I do, but I've always thought women were a little like horses. With some of them, you follow every rule in the book and it all works out fine. But if you've got a Thoroughbred, the regular rules won't necessarily cut the mustard. Sometimes you've got to follow your gut, your instincts, your heart. It sounds to me like you've been leading with your head. If you're gonna get Martina, you might just have to lead with your heart."
Noah prized intellect and passion and held little faith in human emotion. He'd watched too many people get hurt from too much feeling and not enough thinking. Jonathan might as well have told him he would have to jump off a cliff in order to win Martina.
There'd been no more chapters read from The Hobbit last night, and Martina had tossed and turned before she'd fallen into an uneasy sleep. When she awoke this morning, she felt lost. Determined to get back control of her life, she showered and began to pack. Midway through her task, a knock sounded at the door.
Martina opened it to Noah. "I'm leaving today," she blurted before she fell under his spell and found another reason to stay with him.
His expression inscrutable, he nodded. "Okay. If you don't mind waiting until lunch, I'd appreciate it. I've got something I need to show you."
Surprised at his lack of protest, she agreed and felt her sense of loss deepen as he left her room. She sank onto the bed and fought the urge to cry. She looked out the window onto the Coltrane ranch and saw a land that needed flowers, a home that needed a woman's touch. Surely she couldn't be that woman, she thought. Not with all the history between her family and Noah's.
She closed her eyes and the truth pounded her like a relentless tidal wave. Although she had fought it, she was in love with Noah Coltrane, and her love for him was going to hurt her and her brothers. It was right for their baby to have two parents and to experience the privilege of having Noah as a father, but it was wrong for Martina to betray her brothers. Her brothers had loved her when her father had not. Logan loyalty ran deep, and she feared that if she stayed with Noah, she would feel guilty for the rest of her life. More confused than ever, she knew she needed to return to Dallas to make her decision.
By lunchtime, Martina was ready to bolt, but she made herself bide her time. Noah met her in the living room and led her out the front door. "Patch, make sure you hang around for the delivery," he called. "I'll be back in a little while."
He turned to Martina and offered his arm as they walked down the steps to the truck. "It occurred to me," he said, "that whatever happens between you and me, our child will spend some time on the ranch, and that means you should know a little about it, too."
His acceptance of her plan to leave rubbed at a raw spot inside her. Had he given up? she wondered. She should be relieved, she told herself. Wasn't that what she had wanted?
She listened as he told her about the various buildings and pastures as he drove throughout the ranch. He showed her the new bunkhouse for the fencing and roundup weekends. Although the Logan ranch possessed a more finished look, Martina was impressed with the size and layout of the Coltrane ranch. The unpolished nature of the ranch held the promise and excitement of fresh possibilities.