Expecting his child(17)

       
           



       

"Cabin fever?" she asked with far more sympathy than he deserved at the moment.

He scowled, brushed past her and stomped down the stairs. Squinting his  eyes against the late-afternoon sun, he headed for the horse barn. He'd  almost broken a sweat by the time he reached it, and he swore under his  breath at how his body wasn't performing. Accustomed to pushing himself  physically and mentally, he had little patience for sluggishness.

He broke the doctor's rule about lifting his arms and saddled his black  horse, Thunder. Riding, he knew, would clear his muddy head. He guided  the horse out of the barn and mounted him, liking the feel of his feet  in the stirrups and the leather reins in his hands. Something inside him  eased at the familiar sensation of horseflesh beneath him, and he took  off in a trot that quickly turned into a gallop.

He was still sore from the automobile accident, and it occurred to him  that he could have used a few spark plugs for this ride. But the wind in  his face erased the comatose feeling he'd been fighting.

Riding toward the south pasture, he slowed when he caught sight of  cattle. He rode a little farther until he saw the stream that joined  Coltrane property with Logan property. The water represented one of the  ongoing sources of conflict between Noah's family and Martina's. Their  child, he feared, could be the greatest source of conflict the two  families had ever experienced.

Not if he could stop it, he thought, determination coursing through him.  He swung off his horse and looped the reins over a tree, then strolled  toward the stream. He gazed at the Logan land on the other side. The  grass had always looked greener, the cows fatter, and everything in  general had appeared easier for the Logans.

He thought about Martina and what a powerful mix of woman she was,  strong, beautiful, vulnerable. She didn't know the impact she'd had on  him from the moment he'd looked into her eyes. He wouldn't call it love,  because he'd long ago decided a man shouldn't place his bets on  romantic love. His passion had been improving his family's situation.

Although he wouldn't deny his passion for Martina, he didn't want his  emotions to get in the way of persuading her to marry him. It was right  for them to be together. He knew it in his gut and in his bones. He knew  he wanted her more than he should. The idea of losing her made him  break into a cold sweat. She was the woman who carried his child, the  woman who filled his mind with dreams and tested his mind's ability to  rule his heart.

Remembering how his life had been without her, he felt his gut clench  and he scowled. She was too important for him to let his emotions get  out of control. She kept him on his toes, yet made everything inside him  click. Later, after they had married, maybe he would be able to trust  her enough to let go a little. But not now, he thought. Too much was at  stake.

* * *

Martina glanced past her laptop computer screen out the window,  searching for Noah. She shouldn't care. She certainly shouldn't worry.  "He's a grown man," she muttered. "He can take care of himself."

"He'll come home twice as sore as he was when he left, but three times happier," a male voice said from behind her.

Martina turned and saw Jonathan in her open doorway. The brothers had  been scarce around her, almost as if they were afraid of her. Martina  knew that couldn't be true. "This is one of those self-destructive  patterns men sometimes exhibit?" she asked.

Jonathan nodded, remaining in the doorway. "Yeah, but it's also a survival thing. Get out or go crazy."

Martina slid her glance toward the window once more, then back to  Jonathan. "You can come in. Despite the stories I'm sure you've been  told, I don't bite."

"I don't think I heard anything about biting," Jonathan said in a  noncommittal tone, his mouth twitching as he slowly entered the room.  She noticed his slight limp again and wondered what had caused it.

"What did you hear?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Something about a pregnant porcupine."

Martina chuckled. "Well, that would be true. This pregnancy has definitely brought out my quills."

"What are you going to do with my brother?"

Martina blinked at the directness of his gaze and his question. It was  the same kind of question she might have expected one of her own  brothers to direct at Noah. "I'm not sure. I didn't plan to get  pregnant, so I never planned anything permanent with Noah." A  subconscious delusional dream perhaps, but she'd never planned.

"He's not a bad guy. Well educated, he's the only one of us to get a  master's degree. Of course, everything he got, he got with scholarships.  He's smart, honorable and he would protect you with his life."

Yes, but would he love me with all his heart? Martina's heart squeezed  at the same time that she was touched by Jonathan's comments. "Are you  his PR man?"                       
       
           



       

"He doesn't need one," Jonathan said. "Sometimes people get themselves in situations where they don't see straight."

"Are you suggesting that I can't see straight?"

"I'm suggesting that you're in a situation where it might be hard for you to see Noah clearly."

She took a careful breath. "I know he's a good man. He's probably a  wonderful man, but your family and my family … " She lifted her shoulders.

Jonathan nodded. "Yeah. Bad music between the Logans and Coltranes for a  long time. Of course, us Coltranes have been fighting our bad rep since  we were born. That black-sheep stuff gets old when all you want to do  is ask a girl to dance, let alone try to court her. Gideon says we're  all going to have to import brides like they did in the Old West,"  Jonathan said. "Gideon has a great imagination. We were able to send him  to college, and he has a decent head for business, but we're beginning  to think he majored in girls and frat parties."

"Why didn't you go to college?" Martina asked.

"I did the rodeo." He cocked his head to one side. "That's how I got the  limp. Adam would give his eye teeth for a degree. He's always reading.  We call him Abe Lincoln when he's not around."

This was the first extended conversation Martina had ever had with any  of the Coltrane brothers, and she found herself hungry for more  information. "Why doesn't Adam get his degree?"

"He can't leave the ranch. He's the cattle expert."

"But he doesn't have to leave. He could earn a degree on-line." Martina pointed to her computer.

Jonathan raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?" He walked closer to her. "We  had this foreman who taught all of us how to fence," he said.

"Zachary," Martina said.

Surprise shot through his eyes. "Yeah. He kept us from ending up in  jail, and he was always telling us that we should never stop learning."

"And how do you keep learning?"

He looked self-conscious. "I like music. I listen to classical stuff a lot."

"Do you play piano or … ?"

"I never had lessons."

"Me, neither. My mother played and taught both my brothers, but she died  when I was born, and my father didn't want anyone touching the piano  after she was gone." Martina stopped, surprised at how easy it was to  reveal something so personal to a stranger. A Coltrane, at that.

He looked at her with a hint of understanding in his eyes, then shook  his head. "We always thought the Logans had it perfect, but I guess  everybody has their problems." He glanced beyond her out the window.  "Here he comes. He's gonna feel like a piece of tobacco that's been  chewed and spit out."

Martina looked out the window, spotting Noah walk, with a slight limp, toward the house.

"He's a good man, Martina. You could do worse for your baby."

Her heart tightened. "I know, but there's more to it than the fact that he's a good man."

"The Coltranes and Logans have been making bad music for a long time. Maybe it's time to change the tune."

Martina remained silent and torn. Even if they could put all the bad  blood between their families in the past, Martina wasn't sure she could  spend the rest of her life trying to make another man love her.





* * *





Chapter 9

«^»

"I need you to stay," Noah said the following night just as Martina started to leave his bedroom.

She turned back to face him, wishing for the hundredth time that he  would wear a shirt so her gaze wouldn't wander to his broad shoulders  and muscular chest. She was never unaware of the physical power of his  masculinity. She was beginning to feel as if she was fighting a  landslide by fighting her involvement with Noah. How could she remain  close to him and continue to tell herself she didn't want him, mind,  body and heart?