Expecting His Secret Heir(30)

One phone call to Zach could have put her on top of the world instead of  the bottom rung. One call she'd refused to make to save herself from a  lot of worry and fears.

But was this proof enough that he could trust her?

* * *

A quick change into clean clothes had helped Sadie feel more in control  after her ugly experience with Victor at the lawyer's office. But she  also felt an increased need to get them packed and out of the apartment  over Mr. Beddingfield's renovated horse barn.

A need that rose exponentially after realizing Zach was now in town.

She could have gone back into the office, could have asked what he'd  seen and heard and tried to defend herself against any ugly things  Victor might tell him about her. But what was the point?

Zach already had enough ammunition to blast her out of his life. Anything more would just be overkill.

Still, she needed to get her family moved. The probate of the will would  be moving forward, and hopefully one of the interviews she'd had over  the last week would pan out for a new job. She'd found a medical halfway  house that would let her mother and sister stay temporarily while Sadie  arranged for a new place. All the apartments on the cheap end had been  scary, but with her credit, something small in a bad neighborhood was  the best she could do.                       
       
           



       

If her luck turned around, her new position would also offer living  accommodations, or at least a supplement toward her rent. Fingers  crossed on that one.

She moved down the hall to her sister's bedroom, stepping into the  circle of cardboard boxes and packing tape and scissors she'd left there  earlier. She'd splurged by hiring a mover, simply because her mother  was completely unable to lift anything. Moving furniture alone wasn't an  option, but Sadie wanted to pack all of the keepsakes and items with  sentimental value herself.

The sun had completely disappeared by the time a knock sounded on the  apartment door. She must have lost track of time, moving from her  sister's bedroom to her own. The five full boxes now standing in the  hallway attested to her progress.

The knock sounded again as she crossed the kitchen into the hallway.  "I'm coming," she hollered, wondering if it was one of the staff from  the big house.

Even though she wasn't technically employed anymore, they still showed  up to ask her questions about various things. With that in mind, she  flung the door open without thinking...and came face-to-face with  Zachary Gatlin.

Panicked, she turned on her heel and strode back to the kitchen. Her  quick steps took her all the way to the other side of the kitchen  island. Only when she was facing the door with something solid between  them did she feel a little more secure.

And slightly stupid for her reaction.

As he came through the door, words started to tumble out of her mouth.  "Zach, I want to assure you we are in the process of moving. I've gotten  everything arranged and we will be out-"

"Shush."

Sadie felt her eyes bug out a little at his harsh tone, though she  wasn't sure why. It was nothing more than what she'd expected. "I just  didn't want you to think-" she spotted his glare, but couldn't seem to  stop "-we were...taking...advantage...now that you own the estate."

"Well, it's a little early in the process, but I will be looking into  the estate and how it is run pretty soon." Zach spoke a little more  mildly this time. "Still, I don't believe I said anything about you  leaving."

"I just assumed..."

His raised brow told her exactly what he thought of that.

Maybe he was right. She should just shush. Everything she said right now was coming out wrong.

"Do you know why I'm here, Sadie?"

"Apparently it's not to throw me out of what is now your apartment."

He simply stared. "Sarcasm isn't pretty."

No, but it was her go-to option in this bizarre situation that she was  completely unprepared for. Unless she chose honesty-and that was a scary  thought. "No, Zach. I really don't know why you would want to see me."

He took a step closer to the island. "No reason at all?"

Sure-if he knew about the baby. But he didn't, and she wasn't ready to  tell him yet. She would later, after everything was settled. "After what  I did to you, Zach? No."

"The lawyer told me about your deposition."

Shock shot through her. That was the last thing on her mind. "Oh. I thought it would be kept private until the hearing."

Zach shrugged. "Does it really matter when I learn what's in it?"

"I guess not," she murmured, though she wished he hadn't learned about  it while she was here. She could have done without a face-to-face  discussion.

"And about the photos. Why, Sadie?"

Then his tone caught her attention.

She simply couldn't meet his gaze. "It's not right for me to keep them, not after..."

"You lied to me, Sadie."

"Yes, yes, I did," she said, dropping her gaze to the countertop. "I'm sorry, but I did lie to you." What more could she say?

"Why?"

This was exactly what she didn't want. She shook her head. "Zach, excuses won't change it."

"Try me."

She straightened her shoulders but still couldn't force herself to look at him. "The first time, I didn't know you."

"But then you did."

Why torture herself by admitting the truth? Why torture him? But with  him standing so close, yet so far out of her reach, her need prodded  her. He deserved the truth-the whole thing. "I did know you," she said,  though her voice was so weak as to be almost nonexistent. "And it scared  me so badly, all I knew to do was run."

"Five years, Sadie." The pure anguish in his voice twisted her heart.  One look confirmed the same emotion in his expression. "Why didn't you  come back to me?"                       
       
           



       

His cry echoed inside her, forcing her reality into words. "Why would a  man like you want a woman with all my problems?" She grasped the edge of  the counter until her knuckles turned white and her fingers went numb.  "I'm sure the lawyer must have told you-the real me is nothing like that  Sadie."

"She's not?" His voice softened. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Most definitely.

He moved closer until he was flush with the other side of the counter.  They were as close as they could be in this space. "I'm not sure, Sadie.  Because the woman I knew was compassionate and interested in people.  Organized and hardworking. Artistic and able to see the beauty in the  world, even in the midst of destruction."

Tears welled up, forcing her to squeeze her eyes closed.

"Isn't that the same as what you do here? Take on a hard job at a young  age so your mother can stay home with your sister? Care about the people  you meet in your job every day? Worry about your mother being tired,  even though you're the one on your feet for twelve hours? Teach your  sister to appreciate the world around her, even though she's dying?  Sounds like the same Sadie to me."

She couldn't stop the tears. They dribbled down her cheeks without her permission.

"But she's also prideful."

Her lashes automatically lifted, her gaze connecting with his. "What?"

"Sadie only wants to be the caregiver, not the receiver."

So? "Doesn't everyone?"

"No." Zach's dark eyes offered compassion, but he didn't back down.  "Lots of people want their dirty jobs done for them. They ignore the  hard parts of life. You power through them."

"That's a problem?" she asked.

"Only when it makes you blind to other people's desire to help care for  you." He leaned forward over the island between them. "It took me five  long years to become vulnerable to you, Sadie. Don't you think I  deserved the same?"

She took a step back, needing space, needing to breathe. "But me being  vulnerable, opening up to you would have placed an obligation on you. A  demand, even if it was unspoken, for you to take care of me and my  problems."

"It's never an obligation when you love someone."

That took her breath away. "I've never had someone love me that way," she murmured.

"Haven't you?"

That dark gaze wouldn't let her look away, wouldn't let her pretend to not see the truth. "Yes."

Silence stood between them for long minutes, almost as if the world held  its breath, waiting to see what came next. Sadie wasn't sure what it  was.

Finally Zach spoke. "I want you to do something for me, okay?"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"When you're ready, truly ready, for me to love you that way...you let me know. Okay?"

A tremble started deep inside. What he asked seemed like almost too much.