Sadie thought she might melt into eternal bliss.
Every touch, every word spoken became a treasure to hide in her heart. The only gift she might ever be able to give herself, because once she had to leave him, nothing else would ever compare to these memories.
Suddenly his hand in her hair was guiding her. A nearby seat hidden in the bubbles became a shelf for her to brace against. The vista before her swirled with dancing snow swept up from the forest floor, and the saturated pinks and blues of sunrise reflected off sparkling icicles.
She felt Zach's warm skin against her back, forming a shield between her and the cool air. Not that she noticed. Her mind was too focused on the moment when he made them one, bringing their bodies together in a connection as glorious as the beauty around them.
He moved inside her, all around her. The water splashed and bubbled in an accompaniment to their harsh breath. His fingers continued their ballet of tightening and letting go, building her anticipation.
"You're so beautiful, Sadie," he murmured with his mouth against her shoulder, only adding to the myriad sensations.
How could she ever let go of such perfection?
In response to the thought, her body clamped down, desperate to hold him within her for as long as she could. She arched her back, trying to take him deeper. To make him as much a part of her as she could.
He moved in and out, every drag and pull intensifying her response. The low rumble of his voice added to the tingles, coaxing her into submission, commanding her response. Finally, just as the sun peeked over the horizon, her orgasm rolled through her, forcing Zach to catch his breath. He held still, buried in her inch by glorious inch.
Her mind exploded along with her body, screaming the knowledge of her love for this man. So loud, she had to bite down on her tongue to hold the words inside. Instead tears fell, mingling with the steam surrounding them.
Zach groaned, thrusting a few last times before he slowed down with a sigh. He pressed firm kisses along her shoulder as his arms surrounding her trembled ever so slightly. He murmured tender, soothing words against her skin.
Something inside Sadie died at the thought that she couldn't have him forever. But as her eyes drifted closed, she did her best to imprint every second to memory.
Then again, how could she ever forget any of these incredible moments? She only hoped she never did.
* * *
There was a lot to be learned about another person when you spent several days in a row alone together, just as Sadie did during their time snowed in at the cabin. Sharing the same bed brought a whole wealth of knowledge.
And not just about sex.
For instance, Zach was a side sleeper. He cuddled in close every night, but her position didn't seem to matter. She could face out spoon style, or snuggle her cheek against his chest. Either way, he almost never moved more than the barest shift. He wasn't a tosser and turner, which made sleeping with him a bit like having access to her own human pillow that supported her body and didn't self-adjust after she'd made herself comfortable.
It might have sounded uptight, but Sadie had learned after many interrupted nights' sleep with her sister that she could only be awakened so many times before her brain started to short-circuit. Sleep was, quite frankly, important to her.
Tonight, their third here, started the same as both the other nights. Sadie drifted off to sleep wondering how many more nights she would have like this. Would they be going home tomorrow? Were the roads safe up here? She hadn't had more than the briefest of glimpses out at the road and wasn't sure that she wanted one.
Frankly, she didn't want their time together to end.
An adulthood spent in a sickroom had given her the unfortunate ability to instantly wake up at the slightest noise or movement. Only Zach's movements weren't slight.
First he flopped onto his back so that his side bumped against her back. She rolled over to face him then snuggled up to a pillow instead. He was probably trying to get comfortable. Then he jerked again, mumbling something under his breath.
A little odd for the man who usually slept like a rock for six hours a night. Reaching out, she laid her palm against his bare chest. His skin was hot, with a light sheen of sweat.
A few seconds later, he jolted again. Then again, and again. It took her a few minutes to realize that the man she thought couldn't be shaken was having a nightmare. Seconds later he rolled over, this time throwing out an arm that caught her unawares as it struck against her side.
Her gasp sounded loud in the room. Suddenly, Zach sat straight up, his body at attention. Sadie froze, too, not sure whether or not it was safe to reach out again. Who knew what Zach was reacting to-and she had a feeling he wasn't entirely awake.
So she held still, counting the spaces between his breaths, waiting for him to gain consciousness. As he did, the feel of the room changed. His muscles loosened one by one. Then the sound of a ragged breath met her ears, interrupted by a hard swallow.
When he turned to her, she couldn't see his expression in the gloom, but she could hear the emotion in his voice. "Sadie? Sadie, are you okay?"
Now she sat up, automatically reaching out a hand to rest against his biceps. "I'm okay, Zach."
She barely made out the shadow of him shaking his head. "I think-I think I hit you." His ragged breathing continued. "I'm damn sorry, Sadie."
"I'm perfectly fine," she assured him. "It was more like a bump. I was just in the way, Zach. No harm done."
"I still shouldn't have..."
That's when she realized there was a slight tremble beneath her palm. Not a full-blown reaction. Something she suspected he was using all his might to control. But it was there, all the same.
"That must have been a doozy of a nightmare," she said.
Even Sadie, who kept a lot to herself, would have wanted to talk something like that out. If for no other reason than to rid herself of the haunting images that could linger after a very intense nightmare.
Apparently Zach didn't, because he was silent. Which was fine. It wasn't for her to decide what Zach wanted to share. But that didn't stop her protective instincts from surging to the front.
Being protected, being taken care of, was as foreign to Zach as it was to Sadie. She wasn't going to let that hold her back.
Curling her fingers around his elbow, she pulled him in her direction. He resisted at first, but she wasn't giving up. As he twisted toward her, she reached for his other arm, then used them to guide him down against her. She lay back against her pillow, positioning him along her side.
"It's okay, Zach," she repeated softly.
Her heart leaped as he buried his face against her neck, but she held still. It took time. Soon his skin was flush against hers, his breath puffing gently along her collarbone and his arm heavy across her waist. There were no more signs of the shakes, but she sensed a struggle for balance. One she couldn't influence, but she could provide a safe haven until he found it.
She embraced his shoulders, securing him to her. Then she closed her eyes and measured her breaths. Soon his breathing matched hers, his rhythm evening out. Only then could she truly relax deep down inside, no longer worried that the nightmare would win.
He might not sleep well, but at least his body could rest.
But sleeping didn't seem to be what he had in mind. Just as she began drifting toward slumber, his leg shifted over hers, sliding between her thighs. Languidly his hand explored what flesh it could find.
And she was more than happy to welcome his touch.
She kept waiting for him to speed up, to channel the adrenaline from his dream into a headlong rush for oblivion. Instead, he seemed to lose himself in pleasuring her, drawing out every caress to gift her with the ultimate in sensation.
Sadie found herself drowning in the unexpected sensuality that lasted longer than she could have dreamed possible, until every inch of her body was imprinted with the memory of Zach on a cellular level that meant he would be with her forever.
She still wasn't sure if a forever without him was something she could survive.
Thirteen
Zach let Sadie sleep.
It was the least he could do after waking her up last night. The thought that he could have hurt her during his dream hung like a chain around his neck.
Something he wasn't proud of.
But he'd survive. He'd learned long ago that he could do this. He would do this. Healing just took time.
As did other things.
He remembered staring down at Sadie's back as he made love to her in the hot tub. The flex and pull of her muscles fascinated him, because they represented the strength and character of a woman who worked hard and provided for others when she could. A woman he loved.