laugh. She knew her little brother well enough to have her suspicions.
“Your name is Abbas?” said Tony. “You’re Palestinian?”
“No. Iranian.”
Daniel asked Amy, “How about you? What brings you to town?” Great
Neck was a good two hours away when the traffic was bad.
“Oh, we had to bring pillows and things to Simone”—his niece who was a
freshman at Barnard—“and I wanted to see the Eakins show, which got a
great review in the Times. Have you seen it yet?”
“Are you free for dinner?” Tony asked. “They opened a new restaurant
here, which we wanted to try. Can you join us?”
“Sorry, no. We’re meeting people downtown. And then we have an early
flight tomorrow.”
Daniel stopped any further questions by asking about his nieces, which
Amy was happy to answer. She asked about Zack. Tony asked Abbas if he
were visiting America or in residence.
“Isn’t the new Palestinian foreign minister named Abbas?”
“I do not know. I am Iranian,” Abbas repeated.
E x i l e s i n A m e r i c a
1 8 3
Finally Daniel kissed his sister and brother-in-law goodbye—Tony was
one of those straight men who give and receive a kiss on the cheek—then hur-
ried Abbas into the line to get their coats. They spilled down the stairs to the
dark, windy street, flagged a cab, and jumped in. Daniel fell back against the
seat and began to laugh.
“Damn! I sure the hell wasn’t expecting that!”
Abbas nodded but didn’t smile. “Your family are Jews?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Your brother thinks you are sleeping with the enemy.”
Daniel grimaced. “He’s not my brother. Brother- in-law. And you’re hardly
the enemy. They don’t know we’re sleeping together.”
“No? Then why did they keep asking about Zack?”
“Only three times.” Which was too often.
“Your brother-in-law is totally hung up on Muslims.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s just curious. He’s a corporate attorney and very liberal,
very open-minded.”
Abbas thought a moment. “I see. Still. That must have been very uncom-
fortable for you.”
“It was. But I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you.”
“No? I would be embarrassed if my brother saw me with you.”
“You would?” Daniel didn’t want to explore that. “But I told you. Tony
isn’t my brother.”
f 2
They ate dinner downtown at the Cedar Tavern. It wasn’t the original Cedar,
where Pollock and de Kooning went, but Abbas didn’t need to know that. He
was silent for long stretches of the meal. When Daniel asked if anything were
wrong, he said he was tired, that’s all. Daniel couldn’t guess if he were fretting
about Picasso or Jews or something else entirely. He looked forward to sex
that night as a way of being with Abbas without having to talk.
They got back to the hotel early, around ten, and Abbas said, “Do you
mind if we only sleep tonight? I am not in a frisky mood. Maybe we did it too
much last night.”
1 8 4
C h r i s t o p h e r B r a m
“Really?” said Daniel. He felt hurt, then angry, but was too proud to show
it. “Poor baby. I didn’t mean to wear you out. Anything I can do to change
your mind? All right. I won’t beg.”
Abbas slept in his underwear—French briefs and a guinea T-shirt—which
looked sadly dingy to Daniel’s bitter eye. Daniel got into bed naked, hoping
his body would change Abbas’s mind. Abbas didn’t even look at him before
he turned off the light.
Daniel slid over and held Abbas from behind.
You think one thing in your mind, then put your arms around the other
person and think something different with your body.
Daniel’s anger turned into sympathy, concern.
“Is there anything you need to talk about?” he asked.
“No. I am tired, that is all. I have had a very long and full day.”
“Tired or depressed?”
Abbas thought a moment. “Tired,” he said. “I apologize. Maybe I will feel
frisky again in the morning. Good night.” He took the hand that Daniel held
on his chest and kissed it goodbye. Daniel withdrew his hand and rolled away.
It was as bad as being married.
Abbas soon began to snore—maybe he really was tired—and Daniel just
lay there, thinking.
He’d spent the entire day naming and renaming his cluster of emotions:
I’m in love, I’m not, I am. He seemed bent on turning his feelings into what-
ever he wanted them to be. But what did he want?
It felt silly and pointless to lie naked alongside a sleeping man. Daniel con-