“I had a hysterectomy, Cal. When I was eighteen, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. It spread fast, and my only option was the operation. I will never have your children.”
He jerked back. Shock filled his eyes, and she watched him try to process. “Wait. You were sick? You had cancer?”
She nodded. “It was a long battle, but I’m healthy and strong, and my regular checkups have been clean. There are no guarantees, but the doctors feel positive.”
“God, Morgan. I wish you’d told me sooner. That must have been such a horrible experience for you.”
“It was hard, but I got through it. I’m stronger now, and I learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way.”
Respect glinted in his eyes. But there was something more. A distance and worry that hadn’t been there before. Like he was unsure what his reaction should be to her news. “I’m not surprised. Another reason you’re incredible. I watch people give up every damn day. You? You’re a fighter.”
“I look at every day as a gift,” she said softly. “But I still lost something precious that I’ll never get back.”
“You think not being able to have children changes the fact that I love you?” Temper flickered over his face. “You think I’m that type of man?”
She grasped herself tighter. “No. I knew you’d try to understand and support me. I know you still love me. But my question is this: Are you willing to give up your dreams of a family forever? Because I can’t do this with you unless you’re sure. I can’t give my heart and soul to a man who’s one day going to realize he needs to have a family to be complete.”
“Has someone hurt you like that before?” he demanded.
“Yes, that’s the real reason my ex dumped me.”
“That’s what you meant by a serious issue,” he muttered. He turned and paced. She waited while he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t like you comparing me to that asshole, Morgan. Dammit, I’m not the type of man to run at the first challenge we get thrown. I thought you believed in me more.”
“I do believe in you,” she whispered. “I just know this has high stakes for me. I’m being realistic about what I can give you. I’ve made my peace with this a while ago, Cal. Sure, sometimes I get angry or feel depressed, but mostly I love my life. I don’t need my own children to be complete, but I understand if you do. That’s not a terrible thing, it’s just a fact. Have you really thought about what I can offer you?”
“We can adopt.”
“Yes. If we both want to. But adoption is a long process. It’s hard, and we have to be willing to love another child like our own.”
“I can do that.”
Something began withering deep inside at his stubbornness. He didn’t want to think of himself as selfish or a man who’d run out on a relationship when problems arose. But this was bigger than an everyday problem. This was an important life choice, and politeness wasn’t what she needed right now.
She needed the truth.
Morgan gathered her courage and crossed the room to him. She reached out and grasped his hands within hers. Jaw clenched, simmering emotions flickering over his face, he looked like a man who was haunted. And that wasn’t fair to either of them.
“Cal, listen to me. You have to be brutally honest. You owe it to yourself, and you damn well owe it to me. This has nothing to do with being a good person, or nice, or standing by your woman. This is about a life you need to choose. Are you ready to give up on ever having a child of your own? Or will you regret that choice for the rest of your life because you were too proud to admit it?”
The silence seemed to shatter like broken glass. He jerked, turning his face from hers for long precious seconds that told Morgan exactly what she needed to know.
“I don’t know.”
The words dropped between them. Coldness seeped into her skin and her soul. She couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t even be mad. Morgan had held on to the last moment, but he’d already made his choice. And though she understood, there was still a part deep down that felt betrayed because he didn’t love her enough.
“Morgan—”
She bit her lip hard and forced a wavering smile. “No, don’t. You think I don’t understand? I do. I don’t blame you, either. I just—I just need to be alone right now.”
“I don’t want to leave like this.”
She backed away from him, needing the distance. “We both need some time apart, Cal. It’s been a hell of a week, and I need to organize for the Rosenthals’ arrival. I’ll take a rain check on dinner. Can you explain to Tristan and Dalton?”