I hear a ping on my computer and look up to see a new email.
From:
[email protected]
Subject: I’m sorry
I hold my mouse over the email, wanting to click it so bad. I move my cursor over to the trash button and click, then go in and block his email. I’ll crack too easily right now. It’s best if I avoid him, because I know I can stay away. It’s moments like now, when my anger isn’t at its height, that I feel weak. I want to talk to him and ask him so many things to try to stop all the questions bouncing around inside my head. Maybe then I can think. Or maybe I’d only make it worse.
I want to go back to Saturday morning and not get up from the bed. I wish I could have enjoyed that moment a little longer before the lies came crashing in and took not only Miles from me, but Paige, too. The only family I’d ever had. I lost them both in a matter of minutes. Or maybe it was me being stupid again to think I even had them to begin with.
“You ready?” Skyler asks, popping her head over my cubicle again. I glance at the clock on my computer screen, realizing I’ve been staring off for twenty minutes. Hey, maybe I don’t need to quit. At this rate, I’ll probably be fired by the end of the week.
“Yeah.”
Reaching under my desk, I grab my purse. Eric comes around to join us as we make our way down the elevator to the bottom floor of the building. We file into what looks like an auditorium. The room fills up quickly with more than two hundred people.
I take a seat between Skyler and Eric, pulling a notepad and pen out in case I need to write something down. I look over and next to the stage against the wall, I see Paige wearing all black. Today her reddish-brown hair is tied into a loose ponytail, but something about her is off. She scans the crowd, and after only a second, she’s looking right at me. Our eyes lock and a lump immediately forms in my throat. I don’t think Paige and I have spent more than twenty-four hours apart in the last four years.
I should be mad at her. I should be fucking pissed, but it’s hard when she’s giving me that look. She’s hurting. I can see it all over her face, and it’s not a look I’m used to on her. Not Paige. She’s strong and doesn’t need anyone or anything, but she doesn’t look that way right now. Right now, she looks like she needs me.
Captain reaches to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, drawing her attention to him. She smacks his hand away, making him smirk. I look down at my notepad, wanting to look away from the two of them because what I really want to do is send her a text teasing her about her crush, about what’s going on with the way he touches her, but I can’t. I shouldn’t want to either. I should hate her for lying to me.
I reach into my purse, pulling my phone out and seeing I don’t have any missed calls or texts at all. That bothers me, too. Jesus, I’m a mess. Now I’m mad he hasn’t texted me after I deleted his email without even reading it. I have serious issues right now.
Skyler nudges me, and I look over at her and see she’s looking at the stage. I follow her line of sight and there he is, staring right at me. His dark beard is a little longer than normal, probably because he didn’t shave all weekend and he still hasn’t taken the time. He’s in dark blue slacks and a light blue button-up shirt that’s rolled up at the sleeves.
He looks tired. The lack of sleep shows under his eyes as he stares at me. Everyone else is taking their seats at the long table on the stage. He sits off to the side like he’s only there to observe.
“Hey, is that Miles Osbourne?” Eric asks, leaning over toward me. I look at him and shrug, like I have no idea. When I glance back at Oz, his eyes are still on me. Intense. It’s clear that he doesn’t care if anyone notices he’s staring at me. He glances over at Eric, then back at me, and even from this distance I can actually see his jaw tick as he clenches it.
I watch as Oz reaches into his pocket, pulls out his phone and types away. I feel mine vibrate in my lap, but I don’t look down or reach for it. I look away from him and over at Skyler.
“Wow. He looks pissed.” Skyler says it without moving her lips. She tilts her head a little—I’m guessing so Oz won’t know what she’s saying.
I glance back at him and his eyes move from me to Captain and Paige up against the wall. He and Captain seem to have some silent conversation before he looks back at me. I look between them and I know he’s going to do something. Grabbing my phone, I open my text messages.
Oz: Don’t make me have him removed from this building.
I see Captain moving around the side of the auditorium and I panic. He’s going to make a fucking scene! This is how he’s sorry, by embarrassing me? This is freaking ridiculous. He really can’t be this jealous.