“Callie, I need to tell you that Mr. Baxter and I work very closely together, and he confides in me often. Not just about work, but also with other areas of his life. He’s become like a son to me, so I want what’s best for him.”
Great. She’s going to lecture me for coming here. “Look, I know I shouldn’t be here. He’s made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with me, but this is important. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. I can just go. It was inappropriate of me to show up where he works to speak with him about a very personal matter. I apologize.” I turn to leave, but her hand gently grasps my elbow.
“Goodness, girl. I wasn’t about to say anything of the sort. I just want you to know that I don’t know everything that’s happened between you two, but I just want to ask you to be patient with him. He’s not as hard as he seems. He’s one of the most kind, compassionate people I’ve ever known. And regardless of how he acts, I know he cares for you. I’m completely overstepping my boundaries here, but I want you to know that.”
I surprise myself by laughing aloud. “Well, he’s made it clear that, regardless of what feelings he has, we don’t have a future. I hope that I can help him see things a little more clearly, but I’m under no impression that we’ll ever have an actual relationship. It’s going to take the right person to really get his attention and get him to take a chance on life . . . and love.”
Sandra takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. Her eyes flash to Wes’ desk and scan over the surface. After spotting what she’s looking for, she circles around and rests her hand on a thin spiral bound book. “This book may tell you something that you don’t realize. You see, every morning, Mr. Baxter begins his day by making a list on this calendar. He says it helps him to clear his mind, so he can better focus on his work. He writes down anything that’s weighing on him, anything he needs to take care of later, sometimes even what he needs from the grocery store. Everything that he writes down is something that he feels he needs to resolve or doesn’t want to forget. I’m not telling you to look at his calendar, though.” She smirks at me and walks toward the door. “But what you do when I walk out this door is up to you. Have a nice evening, Callie. I do hope to see you again.”
As soon as the door clicks shut, I skirt around the desk and stare at the book. If I read his personal thoughts, it would be like reading his diary or something. It’s a serious intrusion into his privacy. Nevertheless, my hand doesn’t seem to have any reservations about opening the cover. He’d believe that I had no control over my hand, right?
I open to one of the first days of the year, and in the notes section of the page, there’s a short list.
Quarterly reports.
Taxes.
Dry cleaning.
Diapers and formula.
Mom’s birthday.
Okay, so there are the baby items again. I wonder how long he’s going to keep up this “no kids’ charade with me. Pretty sure he doesn’t routinely pick up those things for friends, so he clearly has at least one child that he’s caring for. If I had to guess, he makes really good money here, and he lives quite modestly, so I have a feeling a good portion of what he makes goes to child support. That’s a little disturbing, but at least he takes responsibility for them. I hope.
I flip through day after day of the calendar, skimming over the list for anything remotely interesting. I’m turning the pages so quickly that, when one of the items on the list catches my eye, I have to go back a page. My heart skips a beat or two when I see it.
Callie.
Judging by the date, it was the first day he worked right after his birthday party. The day after he took care of me when I had that massive hangover. Okay, well, that makes sense because he did say that he called Shane a few days later to check on me. I flip to the next page, and I find my name at the top of the list again. And again. And again. Day after day, my name is there, right on top.
Out of curiosity, I turn to today’s date. He said that he wanted nothing to do with me, so I’m sure I’ve been replaced with other thoughts by today. Or not . . .
Callie.
Callie.
Callie.
My name is listed three times, and I’m all that’s on the list for today. Why the hell does that make me smile? It really should piss me off, but knowing that I’m in his head, knowing that I’m affecting him . . . damn, I like that. Honestly, he’s just as deeply rooted in my head. Not that I’ll ever admit that to him.
Trying to force the grin from my face isn’t too hard of a feat when I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I slap the calendar closed and walk over by the window, waiting to hear the door open. I don’t know how I’ll ever hear anything with my heart pounding in my ears like this. My nerves have decided to make themselves known, sending a flood of adrenaline into my bloodstream.