Every Kiss(44)
I try to swallow but my suddenly dry tongue hangs in my throat. I want to tell him that he’s insane if he thinks for one second that I’ll just sleep with him without any chance of a relationship. I’ve seen Allison. I’ve heard how he only calls her when he needs her. I don’t want to be that person. I won’t be that person. I won’t be one of the many women revolving in and out of his life.
But at the same time, I can’t help thinking that maybe it’s what’s best for me. Maybe the simplicity of casual sex would be good for me. Relationships have been beyond complicated for me lately, and . . .
Wait a minute. Who am I kidding? It won’t work. One or both of us will end up hurt, and everything will just be awkward when we’re forced to be around each other. No. It just can’t be this way. We can only be friends. Or maybe we shouldn’t even be that.
“Callie, don’t. I can see those wheels turning, and I shouldn’t have brought it up here. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days, but I should’ve waited until another time. Let’s just enjoy tonight. Take some time to think about everything, and we’ll discuss it another day. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” My voice barely croaks out the answer.
“Forget I opened my big mouth. The dim lighting and champagne are screwing with my head. And you’re so . . . so . . . I just can’t stop looking at you.” He wraps his arms around me, swaying back and forth to the music echoing into the cavernous room. “Did I totally kill the chance to have you dance with me?”
“I’d love to,” I say, taking a step toward the door, but he stays rooted in place.
“No, in here. Let’s just enjoy the quiet for a second.” He leads me out to the dim dance floor and pulls me close, linking his fingers low on my back. I start out with both hands resting on his shoulders, resisting the closeness of him, but it’s not a battle I’m strong enough to fight for too long. Finally, I reach both arms around his neck and rest my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes. And I’m not at all surprised when I feel his cool lips press a kiss against my forehead.
I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what to think. I won’t lie about wanting him, but I also won’t lie that I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m attracted to him, painfully so, and he’s made it abundantly clear that he feels the same way. I don’t know him all that well, but I feel like I do. There aren’t really any guessing games with him. He’s honest about what he wants. Me.
Even though I can respect his repulsion toward commitment, especially since he’s honest about it, I know I like him. If we throw sex into the equation, what if “like” turns into something more, evolving into more than either of us bargained for? He’s made it clear that he’ll walk away, and I’ll be the one left with the broken pieces to clean up. Regardless of the simplicity of what we both want right now, I have a feeling it will become more, and I have to take the inevitable end into serious consideration.
After two songs, the band announces they’re taking a break, and I lean back to look up at Wes. “Maybe we should go find your mom.”
He nods. “Yeah, she’s probably looking for me by now. But before we go, I need to say something.” Both of his hands slide up my back to either side of my neck. “Callie, you deserve so much more than anything I could ever give. You’re perfect. Don’t settle for anything less than that. Regardless of what nonsense spews out of my mouth, don’t let some jerk like me use you.”
I open my mouth, although I’m afraid of what’s about to come out of it. My saving grace comes in the form of a petite brunette sweeping into the room as if she’s on a mission.
“Well, there you are, handsome. I’ve been looking for you.” She walks up to Wes and accepts a kiss on the cheek from him before turning to me. “And unless my son is a complete moron, I’ll assume he’s all hugged up to the date he told me about. You must be Callie.”
I take her extended hand and shake it. “Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Baxter. Thank you for arranging the gorgeous dresses for us.” Speaking of dresses, the one she’s wearing is stunning. The color of midnight blue, it has a wide boat neck and is fitted perfectly all the way to her knees. It reminds me of something stylish that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis would have worn. Even though she has chocolate eyes, I can see that Shane got a lot of his looks from her.
“Oh, please, honey. It’s the least I could do for you after agreeing to accompany Wesley. I like for the boys to bring pretty girls to these things. It’s my way of keeping my friends from trying to set them up with their selfish daughters.”