Every Kiss(31)
At this point, I feel like a few of my questions have been answered, but with that revelation, I feel hundreds more building. Since I have him talking, though, I think I’ll keep them to myself for a while.
“I already felt like an ass for kissing you after making out with Allison earlier that night, so when I carried you up to your bed, I decided to give it a few days before I tried anything again. Then, when I woke up the next morning and saw you undressing to get in the shower, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done to stay in that bed. Still, though, I refrained. I kept repeating to myself to give it some time. But right after that, you talked about how you just cut your ex loose for using you for sex. That’s all I’m good for, Callie. I decided I couldn’t do the same thing to you. Not you . . . you don’t deserve it. So, distance. That was my answer.”
“Distance? But you kissed me that morning. You took care of me when I was sick.”
“Yeah, so you can now understand why I haven’t been around you since then. It’s hard for me to keep that distance when you’re anywhere near. I catch a whiff of your hair, and I remember smelling it when I was kissing you in the hot tub. I can’t even think about that bathroom now without seeing you naked in it. You don’t want me to use you, and I don’t want to make you feel used. So forgive me if I’m an ass around you. I don’t mean anything by it, and it’s the only way to keep the necessary space between us.”
I’m not easily stunned by blunt honesty, but coming from a man? Well, that’s something. I’m used to them avoiding the issue, but he didn’t even flinch. “Okay then. I guess that answers everything. I get it. Maybe it’s best we’re not friends. I’m not interested in the benefits part of it, and to be honest, I don’t even like you all that much. And you really suck at this.”
When his jaw drops, I can’t keep from cracking a smile. “I’m kidding, Wes.”
“I swear I’ll never figure you out. I’ve never known a girl like you. You say what’s on your mind, no matter what. You’re open, brutally honest, and maybe even a little vindictive. I tell you that I want to screw you, but since I can’t, I’m going to be an asshole, and you’re satisfied with my reasoning. Hell, you even crack a joke about it.”
“Yep,” I say, cocking my head to the side. “I’d say that just about sums it up. But to be fair, you’re the first guy that was ever straight with me. If Tanner had told me from the beginning that he only wanted to bang me, we might have avoided all the drama.” I cover Wes’ hand with mine. “So thank you for telling me that. Maybe I’ll get to the point where I can handle that kind of relationship, mentally, but it’s just not in me right now. And our situation is naturally going to be more complicated, simply because, no matter if we like each other or not, we have to get along for Makenna and Shane’s sake.”
He flips his hand over so that we’re palm to palm, and he threads his fingers between mine. I can feel the warmth of it radiating into my skin. “You’re right. Just for that reason, I’m going to stop trying to push you away and pick fights. That’s the easy way out, and I knew it all along. Besides, I should realize that you’re going to be more into guys your age. Ones that will walk you to class and take you to frat parties. Not assholes who work too much at a boring job and wear stiff suits. It’s a hit to my pride, but I deserve it.”
As much as I’m enjoying it, I can’t let him believe it’s all completely one-sided. Maybe it will be easier for both of us if we acknowledge it and get over it. “Actually, while we’re being honest, I like the suit. Not failing to mention the fact that I remember all too well what’s underneath it. And the memory of how chocolate tastes on your tongue just won’t die. The attraction goes both ways, Wes; I won’t let you think it doesn’t.”
“I was still hoping it was a one-way street.” He swallows hard. “It would make things a little easier. But I’m a big boy, I can keep my hands to myself.”
“We’re not starting that out too well.”
His eyes fall to our linked hands, and he releases me. “That was all your fault. I have to warn you now, though. I’ve been honest with you about what I want, so from now on, don’t start anything you don’t want me to finish.”
“Seriously? I touched your hand. How is that anything remotely sexual?” Still, though, his threat echoes down into the deepest parts of me, the ominous promise awakening my senses.