Every Kiss(108)
I don’t know what else to say, but I think I understand everything a little better now, no matter how ridiculous it all is. He clearly got way too fixated on things that a lot of people would eventually get over, but thankfully, he used his depression for good instead of evil. I get why it’s important to him to help these people. Not only is he a good man, but he also holds the reason for this program very close to his heart. He just wants to give these kids a chance that they may not have had otherwise.
But his obsession isn’t healthy. “You can do what you want, and I’m not saying I won’t support you if you don’t agree with me, but I think it might be time to step back from all this. Maybe you can still help some, but more low key. You know . . . a yearly donation, helping out with fundraisers, stuff like that. You don’t have to singlehandedly save every one of them. You need a little saving yourself.”
Wes turns around, reaching into the backseat to slip a file from his briefcase and dropping it into my lap. “Take a look.”
I open up the front cover to reveal some sort of legal document that makes absolutely no sense to me. “What’s this for?”
“I met with my lawyer on Monday, and against his adamant advice, I made a tough decision.” He reaches across the console to tap part of the page that lists the pregnancy center. “I’m signing everything over to the clinic. It’ll be theirs to use now. . . the apartments, the money that I’ve raised for the organization, everything. I’ll still help them when I can, but I’m done with it. Maybe it was stupid to get that wrapped up in it, Cal, and I don’t really know what possessed me to start all of it in the first place. I was still pretty messed up over what Sarah did, and it was my way to bring some balance into my life. But I became infatuated with it, concentrating all of my free time and resources into it. But I know I can’t keep this up. I need to concentrate on me. On us.”
His eyes finally meet mine, the raw emotion showing behind them is enough to cause a lump to form in my throat. He’s waiting for my acceptance, for me to tell him that everything is okay. But that’s not what he’s getting.
“You know what, Wesley Baxter? I don’t like how I had to find out about all of this. Do you realize what kind of position you put me in? Why in the hell didn’t you feel like you could trust me enough to understand all of this? You didn’t even feel the need until it was all thrown in my lap, making you look like a coward. Again. You tell me you love me, but you keep secrets from me. That’s not very reassuring. That doesn’t give me any faith that we’ll ever work. What else are you keeping from me, Baxter?”
The cool blue of his gaze is chilling. He’s trying hard not to show any emotion, but it’s not working so well for him. His throat works a little too hard on a swallow, and there’s an extra glisten in his eyes. “I’m not hiding anything else, Callie, never again. I’ll tell you anything you’d ever want to know. For starters, I never deleted your number from my phone like I said I would. I started to call you every single day to tell you that you were right about me. You’ve always been able to see right through me. The night of my birthday party, when Allison and I went to my room? Nothing happened because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Then when I followed you to the pool, I lied to you about my wish. Yeah, I wanted to kiss you, but my real wish was that someone like you would come along and turn my world upside down. That I could find someone like you who wouldn’t take my shit and would force me to pull my head out of my ass. Someone like you who would make me smile when it was the last thing I wanted to do. It took me a long time to realize that I found that someone . . . and it isn’t someone like you. It is you, Callie. I know I don’t deserve you, not even a little, but for some reason I got lucky enough to have you, even if it’s just for a little while. There’s nothing left between us now. It’s just you and me. But the choice is ultimately yours, and I’ll respect whatever you choose, whether it’s to stay or go. Just tell me what you want and that’s what I’ll do.”
Why? Why do I have to look like the weak one right now? The stupid tear trailing down my stupid face is such a stupid traitor. I want to look like the strong, unshakable one, and now I’m crying like a baby. “Wes . . . all I want is to go home.”
“I HAD NO clue that giving you a necklace would make you depressed all night.” I whisper into Callie’s ear, sneaking up behind her. “I think I should take a mental note that jewelry is off-limits from now on.”