“Okay, okay. I’ll be serious this time, I promise.” Viper tugged on his chin as though to pull his face straight. “Not to make Brody’s head any bigger than it already is, but I really do think it’s a great idea. Then you can get out of the office and get laid more—I mean spend more time with your kids.”
By this point, Brody was practically hyperventilating from the alcohol-induced fit of laughter.
“Getting laid would be fantastic—my always-horny, immature friend—but I’m not really a one-night-stand kind of guy, and I barely have time to spend with my kids, let alone date, so for now my dick is growing cobwebs, and that’s okay.”
Viper lifted his hands up and down in the air rigidly, like a robot. “I. Do. Not. Compute. Not. Having. One. Night. Stands.”
“Oh, shut it.” I wadded up a damp napkin and threw it at him. “You haven’t had a one-night stand in a couple years. Now you’re a pussy-whipped husband just like him.” I pointed with my thumb over at Brody.
“Hey!” Brody frowned, holding his hands up in the air defensively.
“I’m not pussy whipp—okay, just kidding. I’m totally pussy whipped.” Viper nodded in agreement. “What can I say? My wife has a magical vagina that has made me forget all vaginas before her.”
Brody reached over and high-fived Viper again as I leaned forward on the table and rubbed my eyes with my palms. “Can we stop talking about magical vaginas now?”
“Why? Does the v-word make your cobwebs twitch?” Viper joked.
“Okay, okay.” Brody picked up a white paper napkin off the table and waved it around. “Enough. Seriously, let us help you look over some of these résumés. You have a ton here to go through.”
“I know.” I sighed. “And I’d like to have Ellie start scheduling some interviews in the next couple of weeks.”
“Wow, you’re moving on this quick, huh?” Brody stared at me with a concerned look on his face.
I nodded. “Yeah. We’re already halfway through June. I’d like to get someone in and salvage at least a little of the summer with my kids.”
“What exactly are you looking for?” Viper asked. “Do you want him to have a bunch of experience already, or do you want him fresh out of college so you can train him?”
“I definitely want someone with experience,” I answered as I shifted the papers around, skimming for one that caught my eye, “and if they brought along a few clients with them, that would be a huge bonus.”
“Whoa! Hold the fucking phone.” Viper picked up one of the résumés and stared at it wide-eyed, with his mouth hanging open.
Brody looked over at me, but I was just as confused as he was. “What?” he asked Viper.
Viper slid his eyes over to me. “Danicka Douglas sent a résumé in?”
“She did?” My eyebrows shot up at the name.
“Apparently,” Viper said, handing the paper to me. “How did you not know that?”
Danicka Douglas had only been in the sports management industry for a handful of years but had already made quite a name for herself. Not only had she closed a few killer endorsement deals that would make any agent drool, but she’d managed to sign a few of the nation’s top athletes.
Trevor Hutchins, the NFL’s top cornerback.
Sam Bulgart, the NFL’s leading rusher.
John Barker, the MLB’s top-paid pitcher, who also happened to have the lowest ERA in the National League.
Every single one of those star athletes was on her roster, and that definitely drove the stakes a little higher for me.
“Ellie’s been printing the résumés and putting them in a folder as they came in,” I answered without looking up from the paper. “I haven’t had a chance to look at many of them yet.”
“Dude, she’d be an amazing partner. Her lineup is pretty sick,” Brody said.
Viper leaned in close and whispered, “So is her body. Have you seen her? Jesus. She didn’t get the nickname Double D for nothin’.”
Still staring down at her credentials, I frowned. “I haven’t seen her in person, but I’ve seen pictures of her. She’s cute, yes, but I’m more interested in the clientele she’ll bring with her.”
“If you bring her into the firm, I’m firing you and switching over to her side,” Viper teased in a dirty tone.
“Who are you firing?” Michelle’s voice rang out in the kitchen, and Viper instantly straightened up like a teenager who just got caught smoking a cigarette.
Michelle walked over to the table and sat next to Viper, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Just a few seconds behind her was Kacie, who sat on Brody’s lap.