Eternally Seduced(83)

It was a goddamn mess, but even so all Staffan knew was that whatever  happened, he wasn't going to fucking back away just like that. And if  Saffi had somehow thought he was going to be like a fucking selfless  knight in shining armor, that he'd play nice and let her go because she  deserved someone better---

She was so fucking wrong.

He needed her. He loved her. And those things had to matter.

Everyone at the hotel snapped into attention when he walked inside. It  was ironic that the event Saffi was slated to attend  –  and receive an  award  –  was being held in yet another one of his stepfather's hotels.

Two uniformed security men stood guard at the entrance. Guests before  Staffan showed their invitations before proceeding inside but when he  reached the front of the line, Staffan merely raised a brow and the pair  hurriedly threw the doors open for him.

Every man inside the vast and elegantly decorated ballroom was dressed  in suit and tie. That was a fucking good omen, he told himself. It would  make him stand out more in his white tux. He remembered how Saffi used  to comment all the time on his red carpet photos, saying over and over  again how much she loved his "sophisticated" taste in clothes.

Well, if that was what she fucking wanted, he would dress in a goddamn  tux every day, even work out with a fucking bowtie if he had to. Staffan  was willing to do everything it took to make her realize the truth.

~~~

Even though she was backstage, waiting for her name to be called and  receive her award, Saffi knew the exact moment Staffan came inside the  ballroom. Perhaps it was the way a palpable wave of lust went through  all the females in the crowd, making them literally fan their faces. It  could have been the noticeable buzz of whispers or  –  if she had the  courage to peek past the curtains  –  it could easily be the way hundreds  of flash bulbs had suddenly gone off, turning the ballroom into a galaxy  of blinking stars from phone and digital cameras.

Trying not to show how much the knowledge of Staffan's proximity rattled  her, Saffi continued almost desperately, "Can we go through the routine  again? I'm a little nervous. This is my first time to receive an award.  I know it's not much---I mean, it's not like I'm a valedictorian or  something. It's just because I'm such a nerd I had submitted the most  number of research papers---"

"Staffan Aehrenthal is outside," Tanya, the senior in charge of  directing the entire student-organized event, told her with wide eyes  the moment Saffi paused for breath.

Saffi stared fixedly at her notes. "Oh?" She told herself she didn't  care. Well, fine  –  she did. But that didn't matter. This was going  nowhere and it would never go anywhere because she and Staffan weren't  meant to be.

Tanya's face became filled with awe. "You're so cool about this. If he  was looking for me, I'd be melting right now---like right this very  moment."

"There's nothing to be excited about." Saffi was thankful of the way she  was able to sound unaffected even as her insides twisted with pain.  "I'm a great … fan of his and from there we became … friends."

"Really?" Tanya let out an audible sigh of relief. "I'm so glad to hear  that! I thought you two had something going on." She cleared her throat.  "Maybe you could introduce me to him later?"

Saffi knew Tanya was subtly asking her to set her up with Staffan. Her  first violent instinct was to say no, but she forced herself to smile  and nod. "Sure." She could do it. She had to do it. The sooner Staffan  understood that she couldn't be with him, that she could never be  whatever he wanted her to be in his life, the quicker she could have her  life back to normal.

And then her name was being called.         

     



 

~~~

Staffan had just finished refusing the tenth person to offer giving up  his front-row seat to him when Saffi's name was finally called. His  attention immediately arrested, Staffan held his breath as the curtains  parted and Saffi slowly walked into the center of the stage.

She was an angelic vision in white, her curly hair falling in beautiful  waves past her bare shoulders. A ruby-red pendant gleamed against her  skin, and Staffan knew the way it rested in the valley of her breasts  would draw lustful gazes all around. His jaw clenched with jealousy, and  it was all he could do not to race up the stage and cover Saffi with  his jacket. If he ever fucking found which goddamn idiot designed  Saffi's dress, that person was going to lose his fucking business. He'd  goddamn make sure of it.

Staffan wrestled his gaze away from her just to look at the crowd, and  his fears proved to be true. Everyone was practically ogling her and it  took all of his legendary self-control not to order everyone out. This  was fucking family property, and he definitely had the right to do so if  he wanted. And if it weren't for the fact that Staffan needed to crawl  his way back into Saffi's good graces, he would have done so without a  qualm.

When she took the award and the microphone, her eyes briefly scanned the  crowd. "Thank you so much for---" Saffi stumbled into a stop when her  gaze met Staffan's. When she hadn't seen him in the front row, she had  started to breathe more easily. After all, he was Staffan Aehrenthal. He  was always used to the best, and he'd never be the type to sit anywhere  but the front row.

But apparently, she was wrong.

Saffi took a deep breath and started again. "I'm really thankful for  this award. I know it says in this plaque An Award for Prolific  Achievements, but we all know that just means I'm the biggest nerd in  school." She smiled as she waited for the laughter to die down. "But  it's okay, really, because I'm happy as a nerd. Personally, I think it's  just another way of describing a person who's found his or her passion  in life. This university helped me find my passion, and I'll be forever  thankful for that. So … " She lifted her award up. "I'm offering this to  my fellow nerds!"

Practically everyone came to their feet after that, thunderous applause  filling the room and startling Saffi. Flushed with pleasure at the way  her speech was received, she had been able to momentarily forget about  everything that happened in the past … until she came face to face with  Staffan, who was waiting for her backstage.

Up close, he was even more overwhelmingly handsome, a prince in the  flesh, easily standing out with his gleaming white tux while everyone  else blended blandly into the darkness. Outside, she heard the lights  shutting off one by one as their host gave his final speech. A party  song played right after, followed by the cheers of the crowd.

All of those felt like it was happening in another dimension, though.

Right now, it was just Staffan and her again.

It felt so right that it had to be wrong.

"Congratulations, Saffi," he said quietly, his eyes shining with something like pride. "You were magnificent back there."

Saffi stepped back quickly just as Staffan reached out for her. She made  her lips form a smile that didn't reach her eyes, pretending she didn't  see the flash of hurt in Staffan's gaze at the way she had avoided his  touch.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "I really appreciate you coming  here. I am still your biggest … fan." Somehow, she couldn't make herself  say she was a fangirl, feeling like she didn't deserve to call herself  that. She lowered her voice, making sure that only Staffan could hear  her as she said, "But I think it's better if you go now."

He stiffened.

She stiffened, too, wondering if she had pushed him too far. His pride meant a lot to him, after all.

And then he stunned her by speaking in a voice that was neither loud nor  soft but just enough for everyone to hear if they wanted to  –  and of  course they wanted to.

"I'd give you anything you want in the world, Saffi, but I'm not letting you go without a fight this time."

Somewhere behind her, a girl shrieked, as if carried away by the fierceness in Staffan's tone.

Saffi could only empathize. Her own heart was beating so madly it was a  miracle she could hear anything beyond it. She shook her head in  confusion. "Staffan---why are you doing this? Can't you see it's not  going to work?"

"It will if you give it a try---"

"I did give us a try," she cut him off tonelessly. "And you responded by  practically having sex with another woman in front of me."

Staffan whitened. "I was a fucking ass. I'd kill myself a hundred times  if it means taking away the hurt that caused you  –  but I can't. All I  can tell you right now was I was a fool. I hadn't trusted you. I let my  bitterness about Chloe color my perception. All I can do now is to prove  to you that I will love you every fucking day of my life---devote every  fucking minute of it to making you happy."

The words were so exquisitely beautiful it broke Saffi's heart to ignore  them. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just can't do this with you  anymore." She ran away then, and she ran even faster when she heard  Staffan calling for her before taking after her.