"Yanna, I can see it in your face."
Oh, oh shit.
"Please don't tell him that," I heard myself whispering. It felt humiliating to do so, but I had to. Life with Constantijin was the sweetest it could be, and I just wasn't ready to have it end so soon. "He's not---"
"He's not ready to hear it, I know," she interrupted with a sad smile. "Yanna, I am a proud woman myself so believe me when I tell you that what I'm about to say does not come easy for me. But I want what is best for my son and I think you are that."
Her order came just then, and she reached for her cup with slightly trembling fingers. "I was a whore back then, Yanna. But what Constantijin can't ever bear to admit to himself was that time I was also heavily addicted to drugs. It was the reason I couldn't get a job to raise him properly. Whoring was an easy way and it would still have been my life if Erik hadn't found me. His father was---is---an angel. He could have had any woman in the world and yet he chose me. He fell in love with me."
Her fingers tightened around her cup as she took a sip, as if preparing herself for another painful revelation. My chest hurt as I waited, my heart aching for what Constantijin and his entire family had gone through.
"For a while, I couldn't make myself love Erik---I felt I was too unworthy and I did everything to make him leave me. I had sex with his friend, his driver, I went to bed with anyone close to Erik who was willing to betray him."
Inhaling deeply, Marge said with a tear-clogged voice, "But he didn't leave me. He kept on loving me until I was too tired not to love him back. I thought it would be okay then, but I didn't realize that the one who would pay for my mistakes was my son."
I couldn't stop crying when she said those words. Even if she didn't say anything else after that, I already knew, could easily imagine what followed, and her words proved my fears true.
"He was twelve when he first learned about my past. He got into so many fights after that, but he never blamed me. When he was seventeen, he started going out with the daughter of one of our neighbors. She was perfect on paper – pretty, smart, witty, the right pedigree. And then he caught her having sex with another boy – someone whom he considered his own friend."
A painful shudder racked Marge's body. "It was like the past all over again. And … and I know my son, Yanna. He was so gentle back then, so loving. And I think he would have forgiven her, he had a heart like his father. But that girl wasn't me. She didn't love my son the way I loved Erik. She hated being caught in the wrong so she lashed out. She said he should forgive her the way his father had forgiven me for fucking everyone in his life."
Marge's eyes met mine, pleading for something I was afraid to give a name to. "Yanna, I know my son is not perfect. I know you know that he doesn't seem to want to love you, but it's not that. It was never that. He's just afraid he'd be like his father if he falls in love again."
Lesson #9
Your billionaire can be an ass.
But he will be the most delightful ass.
After pushing the last box of my belongings past the door, Constantijin kicked the door shut and said triumphantly, "And that's it. You are now under my lock and key."
My heart squeezed at the joy underlining his words. My heart did that a lot lately – ever since I had that talk with Marge a week ago. But Constantijin didn't know a thing about it, and Marge didn't have to tell me to keep it a secret. Sometimes, the only way you could love someone was to pretend you didn't know who he really was.
Mustering up a teasing smile, I said, "There's something wrong with your English again."
But Constantijin only shrugged. "We must celebrate."
"I'm not ready to throw a party," I warned him, alarmed at the gleam in his eyes. And I meant financially since I hadn't been able to resist buying furniture for my new home. Constantijin had been really smart by sending his mother to me as my interior decorator. With her, I couldn't even make myself say ‘no' when she insisted prettily on using her son's credit card.
"Sort of," he answered, his grin mysterious as he reached for me and took me out to the balcony. Standing next to the rails, my back against his chest, Constantijin whispered to my ear, "Do you remember what I said when I was in Dubai?"
I froze. "Constantijin … "
But he was already lifting my skirt up, and by the time I felt the wind teasing the bare skin of my thighs, I was already wet for him. And when I heard him unzipping his pants behind me, I had to clutch the edge of the railing's marbled top because my body was already shaking so badly with anticipation and desire.
"Oh God." I let out a whimper as Constantijin pushed me forward, my breasts flattening against the marble as I felt his burning-hot cock knock against my entrance.
"Ready?"
I shook my head furiously.
He chuckled. "Good. It makes this all the more better." And then he was sliding in.
Even though the darkness of the night cloaked us, I still felt deliciously exposed as I stared at the world below. My new home was the topmost floor of a five-story building, high enough for people not to see us from the streets but low enough for me to hear the sounds of everyone and everything that was taking place around us.
His tongue made one painstakingly slow swirl around my ear, making me gasp as my body became even more sensitive to the smooth and deep thrusts of his cock. "If you moan for me loud enough, people might see that I'm fucking you."
Biting my ear, he asked huskily, "Do you want that?"
"No," I managed to gasp even as I thrust back wildly against him, wishing I could take more of him in.
"Are you sure of that, sweetheart?" He pulled all the way out until his cock was barely grazing my sex.
"Constantijin!"
"But I want them to hear you."
"Jerk," I hissed at him, twisting my head to the side so I could glare at him.
"Moan for me."
"No." But I ruined it by trying to press my lower body closer to him, helplessly looking for a way to make him enter me again. A mewl of protest escaped me when Constantijin gripped my hips, forcing them to stop moving.
"Constantijin!"
"Only if you promise to moan as loudly as you can." I felt him move behind me, and then I could only moan as Constantijin took hold of his cock to tease the folds of my sex.
When he applied gentle force to the small of my back, I let him push me down further until I was practically lying on the expansive top of the marbled railing, my hands gripping its outer edge.
"Will you scream for me, sweetheart?"
When he reached between my legs to thumb my clit, I could only gasp out, "Yes, damn you." And then he was pounding into me and I screamed with each hard and fast thrust.
"Yes. Yes. Oh, oh, yes!" I screamed and sobbed the words out as he fucked me so hard I could only be thankful that the railing wasn't the type to give way easily.
"Louder," he panted back as he slammed into me in full force.
"Yes." I screamed it as loudly as I could even as I continued to stare at the world below us, fearful of someone looking up yet at the same time horribly excited by the prospect.
He slammed into me as I screamed and when one of the men walking below us actually looked up, I came, my head bent down to avoid the stranger's gaze as my body shook under the relentless thrusts of Constantijin's cock.
Constantijin came not a second after, shouting as I did. It was impossible for the stranger not to hear Constantijin's shout and the thought intensified my orgasm, turning my body into a mass of soft and weak limbs as the very last drop of my release flowed out of me.
When he swept me up in his arms, I could only rest my head against his silk-clad chest gratefully. And then he murmured, "Tomorrow again?"
I made a weak effort to thump him, but he only laughingly caught my hands and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. "Jerk."
He took me to bed, tucking us both under the covers. He hugged me to him, spoon fashion, and I had never felt better.
"Yanna?"
"Mm?"
"How do you feel about anal sex?" I was on the other edge of the bed by the time he finished speaking.
Even when he started laughing, it still took me a while to realize he had been joking. Or at least half-joking. I was still too nervous and irritated to tell. I hit his head with a pillow, but it didn't stop the laughter rocking his body.
"You're horrible," I told him even as I did my best to fight off a grin brought about by his infectious laugh.
"I don't want you to sleep yet," he said simply.
"Why not?"
He shrugged then suddenly suggested, "Let's hit the grocery. We should stock up."
I gaped at him. "Now?"
He shrugged again. "Let's go?"