I found myself wriggling closer and closer to George until I was practically hiding behind him. It wasn't an easy feat, with my four-inch heels causing me to tower over him. Men actually nudged each other when I walked past them, and some of them even winked at me.
"You're an overnight sensation, honey," George exclaimed.
Boy, did I hope that was true. If it was, then that meant all this weird furor would be gone by tomorrow – right?
As George and I queued up at the American station, a voice behind me asked, "Late lunch?"
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my---
It was him. Of course it was him. I had recognized Constantijin's voice, but a part of me couldn't believe I'd see him again this early.
Stay calm, stay calm, I told myself as I summoned up a smile to my lips, trying to ignore the way my heart was near to popping out of my chest in excitement. Constantijin looked utterly sophisticated and gorgeous in his black and white suit, minus his usual tie. His eyes possessively roamed over me, and I tried not to squirm when his gaze slowly traveled down my bare legs.
Remembering his question belatedly, I grabbed my just filled-up tray as I said, "Charli gave us a lot of work for this week."
He nodded sympathetically. "Friday's presentation, right?"
My eyes widened. "You'll be there?"
"Yanna," he said very gently, "do you think I'll ever miss a chance to see you shining?"
Oh dear. Someone please help me keep my heart still or I'd be melting any second.
"Next," the waitress in front of me said impatiently. Then her eyes lit up when she saw Constantijin next to me. "Sir?" She bent close to take Constantijin's tray, and I reluctantly moved away.
"Enjoy your lunch, Yanna," he murmured.
"You, too," I said shyly.
He smiled.
I floated.
George had already found us a table, and he was grinning at me widely when I joined him.
"Your face is red," George told me as I placed my tray on the table.
"Is it?" I controlled the urge to fan myself. "It's just so hot, I guess."
George smirked.
"I mean it!"
"Yeah, yeah. I heard that before."
He made me feel defensive and embarrassed at the same time. About to dish out another retort, I found myself suddenly surrounded by a small group of guys, and I recognized them as some of the most recently hired batch of sales agents.
"Err … yes?" I asked hesitantly.
That seemed to be their cue and they all launched into their own conversations at once, making me giggle. A few minutes later, in the middle of an embarrassingly flattering conversation with the guys about how I so did not look pretty, my phone beeped.
Still fucking jealous.
I didn't reply, but those three words had me giddy and confused all day. One minute I was all excited, thinking about those words over and over. The next minute I was annoyed, telling myself that I shouldn't be this happy. If I sent Constantijin the same kind of text, he wouldn't be as happy as I was. He'd probably be, like, all arrogant and smirking, thinking it was time I admitted how irresistible he was.
The digital clock said it was 7pm by the time I finished with work, and I was all alone in the office since George had already left an hour earlier. I stretched my arms over my head slowly and leisurely, savoring the release of tension from my muscles and joints.
Constantijin hadn't called me for, like, hours. I knew I shouldn't, like, be all messed up about it, but I was. And I was, like, super mad at myself for, like, caring---
Stop, Yanna. This see-saw thing Constantijin and I were in was turning me more and more into Alicia Silverstone during her Clueless days. Usually, when I panicked, I only went as far as sounding like Reese Witherspoon's Legally Blonde character. This was, like, so much worse.
Sighing, I clicked the function key shortcut to save my file and got to my feet. Relax, Yanna. I had to stop obsessing over Constantijin. I tiptoed, stretching again.
"Tired?"
I froze.
Oh. My. God.
Why was he here?
Turning around slowly, I saw Constantijin leaning against the doorway, minus his blazer, shirt hanging loose over his pants and several buttons undone, revealing more of his gloriously hard chest than usual.
"I thought you'd be out the whole day," I blurted out. He had texted me just this afternoon about having to leave the office early. I had texted back a simple TC, all the while trying not to think how boyfriend-like he sounded.
"I came here to pick up certain documents and I saw the lights were still on here."
"Oh." I started fixing my things. "So, where are you going next?"
"Yanna?"
"Mmm?"
He walked towards me and stopped just before my cubicle, leaving a few feet of distance between us.
For some reason, I hated that he did that – putting space between us. I knew it was silly of me, but that was how I felt.
"Why do I have a feeling that something's not right?" he drawled.
He was smart – really smart! I knew he couldn't have been a billionaire without being smart. I shrugged uneasily. "I don't know," I lied.
"Yanna." His voice held a warning note.
I continued fixing my things, but it was a delaying tactic that couldn't last longer than a minute. I forced myself to look back at him. "It's just that---" Damn! How should I say this?
"What is it?"
"It's weird," I burst out.
He raised a brow.
The moment I started speaking, it was as if I couldn't stop. "Every time you look at me, it's weird! Every time I think of you, it's weird! And I don't think it's fair because it's not as if you find it weird, too! You talk to me like it's an everyday thing and yet when I'm with you it's like I can't breathe!"
And then I realized what I had just revealed. I gasped and slapped my hands over my mouth. My super big tactless mouth!
But when I looked at Constantijin, he wasn't smiling like I feared he would. He actually looked...furious. "Maybe you're just not as sensitive as you think you are," he retorted.
"What?"
"How do you think I feel? All the fucking men here can look at you and talk to you freely but I'm not allowed to do that, am I? I'm the one who's courting you but I can't tell anyone that and I can't warn the other guys off!" He shot me another look of irritation. "And you think I'm not affected?"
Wow.
I wanted to throw myself at him after that, but I controlled myself. It took every ounce of my control, but I succeeded. "Good!"
He glared at me.
I lifted my shoulders helplessly. "Do you want me to lie? You're out of my league, Constantijin. So I'm really happy to see that I affect you."
"Would I fucking court you if you didn't?" he snarled.
I wanted to comfort him but I didn't know how. Or maybe I wasn't ready yet. I sighed. "I know you're impatient. But it's too soon. Just too soon." I looked at him pleadingly. "You understand, right?"
He placed his hands inside his pockets and nodded. "But you have to trust me one day. You either do or don't, Yanna. I know I fucked up. I've already owned up to it. But we need to get past it. If you don't...then there's no point for me to continue courting you, right?"
I nodded.
We stared at each other, both our gazes shuttered to hide the emotions we were feeling. He said slowly, "Maybe I can drive you home tonight?"
Sports car or bus?
It was a no-brainer.
"Maybe next time," I replied just as slowly. Bus was so much safer for my heart.
He stiffened, and I knew it was because he wasn't the type who accepted rejection so easily.
I forced a smile. "So, see you tomorrow, all right?" I waited for him to leave, to say something – to do anything just so I could be more certain of where I stood with him.
Constantijin finally glanced at me, his face impassive. He stepped aside.
My heart skipped a beat, in a bad way. That felt very symbolic for me and for one instant, I could imagine how excruciating it would feel if he really did step aside and stopped coming after me.
"See you tomorrow," he said just as politely.
Walking past him with trembling legs, I felt his gaze on me all the way out of my office. I hated how he used to blow hot and cold with me, but now I realized that I was doing the same thing with him. It wasn't right and yet – everything else I could do felt wrong.
Something had to give, but I just wasn't sure what, and it scared me.
Lesson #8
The only kind of threesome that your billionaire understands
will have something to do with you and another woman.
The days of the week seemed especially long when I thought about Constantijin but they seemed too short when I focused on my work. I still couldn't make my mind up about him.
Did I trust him? Did I love him, or was I just blinded by how gorgeous and seductive he was?
Tuesday was awkward. Constantijin had called me up, but he wasn't his usual wickedly teasing self and I had a feeling we were both relieved when he received an urgent request for a business meeting over Skype with his assistant in the Netherlands.