I pointed at her.
She trembled.
Oh, wow. It seemed like I had inherited Charli's finger-pointing powers. She used to be our boss, and we trembled whenever she pointed at us. Now I could make people shake in their shoes, too.
For good measure, I pointed at Ms. Gallagher again and she trembled once more.
Ha!
I told her in my most ominous voice, "I'll let this go, Ms. Gallagher. But only this once. It's your last warning. So. Don't. Freaking. Push. It."
I turned my back and stalked away.
It was a great exit.
Or at least it would have been a great one if only upon spinning around I didn't almost bump into Constantijin.
He stood in the center of a circle made by his executives, and beside him was the CEO of Interkonek, who was also surrounded by his own group of executives.
Oh. Shit.
I bobbed my head down in respect before excusing myself and practically running into the elevator. The doors took its time sliding close, slowly enough for Constantijin's head to turn around and catch me staring at him with tear-stained eyes.
His eyes said it all. How can you speak about our love so confidently and yet not want to marry me?
I don't know. I don't know, dammit.
Chapter Three
"And you left him? Just like that, you left him?" Daria was so incredulous – I preferred to think that rather than angry – her generous breasts shook with each word. She was, once more, in a bikini, lounging on the sunbed of her Greek billionaire's yacht. They went sailing as often as they could, with her husband relying on the power of the Internet to manage his business empire.
On the other half of my iPad's screen, Alyx was shaking her head in apparent disgust. She was in her bedroom and already in her PJs. She gave the word ‘bum' new meaning these days. Most couch potatoes looked like yellow-skinned aliens after a few months, but Alyx only seemed to grow more and more beautiful each day.
Alyx demanded, "What's your problem, really? I mean, I'm as confused as he is and I don't get easily confused." It was true. She was that smart.
Daria nodded emphatically. "I'm confused, too. You love him. He loves you so---"
Alyx raised a brow. "Why don't you want to marry him?"
"Because I'm scared."
They gaped at me.
I threw my hands up and began pacing restlessly. Thank God I was alone in the restroom or I'd go crazy. I needed to pace to keep my head straight. "You don't understand how scared I am of the same thing happening again. I love him, but that's never been the problem. I wasn't the one who had other lovers, wasn't the one who broke his heart---"
"But that's the PAST!"
I winced at Daria's words. "I know that," I said miserably. "But I can't help it. Every time I think about marrying him, I feel like I'm going to come down with a flu. I can't breathe at the thought. I'm so scared that if we marry and that happens again, where's that going to leave me?"
Alyx said gently, "You know I'm not crazy about men in general, but Yanna, you have to let it go. You're being unfair to him. You know that, right?"
I gave her a small, pitiful nod.
Daria gave me a commiserating look, but her voice was firm when she spoke. "You need to figure this out really soon, okay? Coz he was right as well – you can't make him wait forever. And that's what you'd end up doing if you don't make a decision soon."
We talked a little bit more before saying goodbye, with Daria being called away by her husband. With a sigh, I put my iPad back inside my bag and opened the door of the restroom---
Constantijin stood in front of me, his face grim.
Coward that I was, I didn't let him speak, asking him instead, "How did you find me?"
He showed me his phone, the screen revealing my Instagram account.
Oh, dammit. I forgot that that I had my location settings on and so my earlier photo of my green tea latte (Status: Green is the color of the day) would let anyone who cared to know where I was.
I started to speak again, but Constantijin shook his head tiredly.
My heart screamed.
It couldn't bear the fact that I tired him.
"Yanna."
"Constantijin---" The look on his face had me biting my lip.
My heart was still screaming.
"Even after all this time, schat – you still don't trust me?" His face was white. "Do you really even love me?"
Chapter Four
Tonight's meal was, like, the most horrible dinner ever.
I didn't mean it in the physical sense, though. We were in my parents' dining room, which had been recently decorated in pale grays and dark blues. Music played softly in the background – American classical music because lately Carole had taken a loathing to anything European.
The food was delicious. Pumpkin soup and Thai salad for appetizers, tenderloin steak served with buttered vegetables and my favorite homemade mac n cheese for the main course, and Japanese cheesecake for dessert.
The company was great. At least from where I was standing. Walter and Carole looked distinguished as ever, dressed in smart casual attire. Constantijin was, well, Constantijin. He always looked gorgeous, no matter what he wore. I had dressed with care, too, choosing my version of the little black dress, only it wasn't in black but in hot pink instead.
I was hoping I would look so much like a walking strawberry Popsicle that my parents wouldn't realize Constantijin and I weren't … talking.
We hadn't been talking since last night.
After patting her mouth with the napkin, Carol looked at Constantijin and asked, "How was your weekend?"
I sighed in relief. That was a very safe question.
"I was in the Netherlands. I had a meeting with my management team there."
Okay, so far so good.
Carole nodded.
Yes, yes, yes. This was good. This was peaceful. This was---
"So you left my daughter alone at home then? Don't you think you should have told us so we could have Drake guard her while you're away?"
---a freaking disaster!
"Mom!"
But Constantijin didn't lose his temper. His acerbic wit tended to show when my mom started baiting him, but this time all Constantijin did was incline his head. "Perhaps I should have. For that, I apologize."
I wanted to cover my ears.
My heart was screaming too loudly now.
Walter interceded smoothly, "You visited your parents then? We look forward to seeing them again."
Constantijin's smile didn't reach his eyes. "They feel the same way."
Silence fell.
An awkward one, the kind that had me secretly flinching because it just made my heart scream even more. Constantijin's phone rang, and everyone except Carole seemed relieved at the sound of it.
Walter, Constantijin, and I got to our feet.
"We should head to the drawing room for a drink," Walter said.
"I must take this call," Constantijin apologized at the same time.
"I think I need to freshen up," I piped in with all of them.
Carole didn't say a word, making the three of us look at her.
She rose like a queen, and in this household she was that. She said dryly, "It appears everyone is tired of my company."
We protested at the same time, all three of us again, but she held her hand up and we fell quiet.
"I shall accompany Yanna as I need to freshen up also." She gave the two gentlemen a regal nod before looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
I hurried to her side.
We parted ways then, Walter and Constantijin going their own way while Carole and I headed to the restroom down the hall. On the way there, Carole held my arm. When I looked at her, a ready smile on my face, she said gently, "Tell me what's wrong so I may help you."
My smile cracked.
I whispered painfully, "I'm the one who's wrong, Mom."
And because only big girls didn't cry, I burst into tears.
****
"No wonder the poor boy looks like someone killed his dog," Carole said ten minutes later as she brushed my hair while I sat with a straight back on the Venetian-styled stool in the powder room. My parents had a love for old-fashioned things, so we also had a drawing room aside from a living room. If Carole had her way, we would also have a carriage even if we didn't have a horse.
"You make it sound like I'm doing the wrong thing," I protested. "And I'm not. I mean, you see it, don't you? I'm not leading him on. It's my right to not rush things. He can't pressure me---"
"Yanna."
I stopped with the excuses.
"If you're asking me these questions, that means something too, don't you think?"
I pressed a hand to my heart. It wasn't screaming now. It was … numb. It was tired with all the pain that I had caused Constantijin.
As Carole ran the brush through my hair, she continued, "You never asked for my approval when you chose to date him, to love him, to---" She sighed. "You never asked for my approval when you chose to live under one roof with him and all of those things, Yanna, you knew in your heart that I would have forbidden you to do if you had asked me. But you went ahead with it anyway."