Actually, he’d said that once you figure out what you want, you were pretty ready for forever. But I didn’t want to scare the pants off of her, as skittish as she’d been. “I’ve figured out what I want. I’m ready to be serious. So don’t worry about me—you need to figure out what you’re ready for.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “I want to be with you, James,” she said. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I’ve never had anybody I could trust in my life except Tommy. I’ve always taken care of myself. And I’ve kept my expectations about other people really low—that way it hurts less when they disappoint you. I want to trust you and be with you. But does it make sense to you that I have no idea how to do that?”
“Of course,” I said. “I don’t either. I guess you just do it by doing it.”
“Huh,” Audrey said.
“Is that a yes?”
Audrey
I bitch-slapped my common sense into submission, and I nodded at him. “Yes,” I said. “That’s a yes.”
James pulled me into his arms, where I felt safe and loved, and I was almost shocked by the depth of his feelings for me.
I knew who he was now. I knew what happened next.
Even though it was scary to let myself be vulnerable, my love for him outweighed my fear. My feelings were like a riptide, a force of nature carrying me along. If I struggled against them any harder, I would go under and be lost. I knew that now. I’d tried to run from him, and it was no use. Turning away would only hurt us both.
I had to be strong, only in a different way than I was used to.
Everyone was drunk at dinner, and there were no signs of stopping. Cole grabbed a bottle of Patron and started pouring tequila shots, passing them down the long table. “Hair of the dog,” he called. “This might be a boot-and-rally sort of vacation.” I watched as everyone took a shot, including Mrs. Preston. She gave me a quick, sharp look afterward, and I was on my guard.
“I’d like to make a toast,” Todd said and stood. “First of all, to Evie for agreeing to marry me. I would have been in sad shape if she’d said no.” He leaned down and kissed her, and everybody whooped and clapped.
“Second, I’d like to thank my parents and Evie’s parents for hosting such a beautiful wedding celebration. It was perfect in every way. Thank you for organizing and for, well, paying.” Everyone laughed.
“Third, I’d like to thank my brother James for being my best man, and for taking time out of his busy schedule to actually go on vacation for once. I have a feeling I should really be thanking his girlfriend, Audrey, since James has never been this relaxed in his life. So cheers to James and Audrey. And cheers to all of you for joining us on this happy occasion. To the hair of the dog!” Todd said and knocked back his shot.
“The hair of the dog.” Everyone clinked glasses and drank their tequila except for me. The way Celia was looking at me made me think staying sober was the right course of action.
Jenny leaned over to me after the toast. “Can we take a break?” she asked.
“Sure.”
She grabbed my hand, and we walked from the oceanside restaurant to the main part of the resort. “I just need a little space,” she said, looking back at the table. Cole was talking to Todd and James.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. No it is not.”
I waited until we found a private bathroom; we went in and locked the door. Jenny was looking as lovely as ever in a black maxi dress, her skin bronzed and glowing from this afternoon. Her hair hung in loose curls over her shoulders. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s Cole,” she said. “He told me he doesn’t want me to go back to work after this.” I just waited a beat, letting her talk on her terms. “He said he wants me to be exclusive.” Her berry-stained lips turned down in a pout, and she blinked back tears.
“Is that a bad thing?” I asked. “You don’t want to be exclusive?”
Jenny looked grim. “It’s not that,” she said. She gritted her teeth and then examined them for lipstick in the mirror. “It’s that he said he’d buy me an apartment, buy me whatever kind of car I wanted, blah blah blah.”
“Oh. Huh.” I paused for a beat, trying to understand why she was upset. Jenny lived in a crappy studio apartment in Dorchester. She’d always wanted a rich John to buy her and set her up as a mistress. “And that’s bad?”