“Best man, reporting for duty,” I said.
Todd clapped me on the shoulder and beamed at us. “My big brother. It’s been too long.”
“I know,” I said. I almost felt bad. “I’ve been—”
“Swamped at work,” Todd finished for me. “We’ve all been swamped at work. You could still make some time to come home and see the little people sometimes.”
He turned and smiled at Audrey and Evie. He was younger than me, but taller by about two inches. I was wider than him from years of lifting weights, and he was thinner, with a runner’s build.
“I had to ask your boyfriend here to be the best man,” he said to Audrey. “Because otherwise he might not have shown up.”
“Of course he would have shown up,” Audrey said. “He’s been talking about the wedding for weeks.”
Todd laughed so hard he almost spit out his drink. He looked at me. “She’s a keeper. Loyal and a pretty decent liar.”
He turned back to her and held out his hand. She took it warily, but he smiled at her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Todd Preston,” he said, giving her a firm shake. “Younger brother of Mr. Hot Stuff here.”
“Audrey Reynolds,” she said. “Girlfriend of Mr. Hot Stuff.” She dropped his hand but smiled back at him.
“This is my betrothed,” Todd continued, motioning to Evie. “Evie Walton.”
“Always a pleasure, Evie,” I said, not bothering to try and sound enthusiastic. I chugged some wine.
She gave me a mean smile and turned her laser-like eyes to Audrey, who was far more interesting than me. She knew she’d never win me over. Not after the first night that I met her, when she’d tried to get me to take her to bed. She’d just started dating Todd then. We were at a bar, and he’d run into some friends; Evie and I were drinking and waiting for him to come back.
“Todd’s nice, but I’ve been really wanting to meet you,” she’d said to me. To her credit, she was more than a little drunk.
To her discredit, she’d rubbed her flat chest up against me while my brother was a stone’s throw away.
“Really?” I asked. “Why’s that?”
“’Cause you’re his hot, successful, big brother,” she said. She eyed my crotch.
I took a huge step back from her. “Really, Evie?” I’d asked, disgusted. Todd had already told me that he was quite taken with her. “I’d thought that someone who went to Smith would have a little more tact.”
“You should know better,” she said in what she might have thought was a sexy voice. But Evie was bony, and she was dating my earnest little brother. Maybe she’d thought the combination was something that I couldn’t resist, but she’d been dead wrong.
“Thanks but no thanks, Evie,” I’d said. Todd showed up then. She’d turned her horny eyes on him and probably took him home and fucked his brains out to drown her disappointment. But he’d bought her a five-carat diamond ring a few months later, and as far as I knew, she hadn’t looked back.
But now Evie was examining Audrey, the girl who’d gotten the larger prize. Audrey smiled at her, pretending not to notice the scrutiny she was under.
“It’s nice to meet you, Evie,” Audrey said. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Evie said. She fake-smiled at Audrey, and her collarbones moved up and down when she shrugged. “Congratulations to you, too.”
Audrey smiled back at her blankly. “For what?”
“For landing your boyfriend,” Evie said. Her laser-like stare looked as if it was micro-analyzing Audrey’s every pore.
I might have imagined it, but Todd seemed to shift uncomfortably next to me.
“He landed me,” Audrey said, grinning back at her. She grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. “The lucky bastard.”
“That’s me,” I said, smiling and shrugging. “The lucky bastard.”
Evie looked at us suspiciously, and Todd swooped in to rescue Audrey. “What is it that you do, Audrey?” He asked. I did refer to him as my stupid asshole brother, but he was actually a nice guy. He was just stupid and an asshole because he was still marrying Evie, even after I’d told him what had happened.
“I’m a graduate student in graphic design,” Audrey said.
“How interesting,” Todd said, still being kind.
“Not really,” Audrey said. “But with a studio-art undergraduate major, what else are you going to do?” With that, she and Todd started chatting about art, teaching, and Audrey’s fake dead family from New Hampshire. Audrey didn’t miss a beat, and she managed to hold onto my hand and engage Todd all at the same time.