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Errors of Judgment(49)

By:Caro Fraser


‘You do realise, I’ve been coming to these parties of your father’s for the last three years, hoping you might show up?’

‘You’ve had other ways of getting in touch.’

‘True. But we always had a – what’s the word? – a capricious friendship. I was fairly confident that our paths would cross again. I enjoyed leaving it to fate.’

‘And letting fate decide whether the moment would be auspicious – or inauspicious?’

‘Inauspicious, it seems. I gather I’ve lost you to some lucky young man.’ He lifted her left hand, so that light glittered from her engagement ring.

The combination of his touch and the ridiculously affected nature of their conversation was too much. ‘Leo, can we stop this bullshit? I need another glass of champagne. I feel like getting rat-arsed. God knows, I’ve reason enough.’

Leo caught the eye of a passing waitress, and she refilled their glasses.

‘OK, bullshit over,’ said Leo. ‘So, tell me about your fiancé. He must be an exceptional individual to make you want to settle down. I never saw you as a one-man girl.’

‘You know how it is. The mating game gets exhausting after a while.’

‘Really? I recall you as having considerable stamina.’ Leo’s smile was just short of suggestive, but in his blue eyes she felt she could read their whole history, every sexual encounter, every bed-warmed conversation, every tetchy disagreement, every pleasurable weekend passed in the ease of one another’s company. What had happened to all that? As though reading her thoughts, he added, ‘I’ve thought about you a lot. In fact, when Anthony told me you were engaged, I felt—’

‘What?’

‘Something selfish. Proprietorial. Totally unjustified, of course.’

‘Of course.’

‘So tell me about him. Who is he, what does he do?’

‘His name is Toby Kittering, and he’s – that is, he was a merchant banker, until a week ago. He got canned.’

‘That’s bad luck.’

She couldn’t meet Leo’s eye, not wanting to find herself, and her disloyal thoughts reflected there. ‘Yes, well … It makes things difficult.’ She glanced around the room. Anywhere but his penetrating gaze.

‘But not difficult enough to change your plans?’

‘God, no!’ She drained her glass swiftly.

‘Pity. We had a good thing once. Friendship, with recreational sex thrown in. The ideal relationship.’

‘Look, Leo, just because we happen to have bumped into one another doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to jump into bed with you for old times’ sake.’

‘That was the last thing on my mind. I was thinking more of the friendship part. We’ve let things slip.’

‘And whose fault is that?’

‘I think we both bear some of the responsibility.’

Sarah saw Toby nearby with a group of people. He smiled as she caught his eye. ‘There’s Toby. I’d better go – I haven’t spoken to him since I got here.’

Leo followed the direction of her gaze. Toby was everything he’d expected. Tall, conventionally good-looking, safe, uninspiring, and if he was fresh out of a job, probably quite needy, too. Leo felt disappointed for Sarah. And in some strange way, responsible. ‘I mean what I say,’ he added, as she turned to go. ‘If you want to talk – or anything else – you know where to find me.’ He fished in his jacket for his Blackberry. ‘In fact, why don’t you give me your number?’

She hesitated. ‘If you like.’ She gave him the number, and he keyed it in. ‘Let’s stay in touch.’

He watched her go, and felt a pang of – what? Desire? She had always been desirable, and was now, being unattainable, even more so. But it was more than that. There was a certain inescapability about Sarah. And now she was marrying a man who probably wouldn’t be enough for her. As she walked away, Sarah’s emotions were a mixture of anger and bewilderment. She’d never known any encounter with Leo be so painfully superficial and strained. From the first day they met seven years ago at an Oxford garden party, from which they’d escaped together to the nearest pub, and then to Leo’s bed, their relationship had been characterised, even in its most vitriolic moments, by a kind of callous, loving sympathy, a harmonious conflict in which they loved and detested one another. But the best they could do now, after four years, was stale banter. Yet the one thing she’d wanted to do, as soon as she’d seen him standing in the doorway, was to escape with him again. Get out of here, away from all this, and be together. But that was never going to happen now. No more escapes. She warmed her face into a smile as she approached Toby.