That was the same question on endless loop since she accepted the attacks were meant for her. Frustration beat a strong rhythm through her head and had her digging her toes into the carpet. “Believe me, if I had ever done anything that might be causing this, I’d be confessing it in the town square, in front of Dad and whoever else might be watching. I don’t want any of this.”
“Speaking of dad,” and Olivia ran her hand through her brunette curls, the aftereffect a tousled look most women paid salons big bucks for. “Could this have something to do with him or one of your brothers? Have you talked to them at all about this?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Larissa ran her hand through her own hair. Through long experience she knew the look was nowhere near as flattering as Olivia had achieved with the same motion. “Because Dad can’t help me, and if I bring him into this, I’m going to get him killed. You know how he is, how my brothers are.”
Narrowed-eyed disbelief met that statement. “Maybe – maybe – you can justify not telling the family when you thought it was a mistake or a one-off. But now, it’s wrong to keep them out of this.”
Larissa quelled the urge to squirm like a seven-year-old under the Olivia’s look. “If I go to Dad, he’s going to lock me down. I won’t be allowed out of the house.”
“Yeah, that’s horrible, having a family love you that much. What was I thinking?”
The urge to squirm morphed into an urge to hang her head in shame under the harsh tone. It wasn’t something they talked about, but Olivia had been abandoned when she was little and had been on her own most of her life. Though she never voiced the thought aloud, Larissa was sure one of the reasons Olivia hung out with her was to be able to experience a tight-knit family.
“You’re right. I am a lucky woman to have these people back me up. They would put their own lives on the line to protect me.” Larissa kneaded the back of her neck, her fingernails scraping the sensitive skin there. How to make Olivia understand? “Would you give up your freedom for prison? A wonderful prison, one with amazing people and great food and lots of love within its walls, but still a prison.”
Olivia wasn’t about to be placated. “You have no clue what a prison is like, or being on your own.”
“No, but I do know what it’s like to suffocate because no one around will let you breathe. No matter how loud you yell, or what you say, it’s always a pat on the head and they send you down the path they want you to take, no matter what your wishes are.” Larissa placed her hand on Olivia’s forearm, forcing the brunette to look at her. “I was a good daughter, and I did what was expected of me, and you know what? I’m happy I did. I don’t have any regrets, because I love my family and I love my life. But if I go to Dad now, I will never have another moment in my life where I am not under his thumb, and he’ll justify every second by saying he’s protecting me. And I love him enough that I’ll let him do it, because the only other option is to lose him, and I can’t abide that thought.”
Olivia covered Larissa’s hand with her own. “So you’re saying family is a little overrated?”
Larissa smiled, though she couldn’t quite manage the laugh Olivia was angling for. “I’m saying my family has to stay in the dark, at least for a short while. I’m not yet at the point where I have no other choice except to inform them and take the consequences.”
Olivia squeezed Larissa’s hand before letting go, and Larissa removed her hand from Olivia’s forearm. “How are you going to protect yourself? You are the only one of the Miller clan who doesn’t know at least three martial arts and can shoot a gnat from a mile away.”
If only she could blame her father clinging to outdated gender roles for that fact. Reality was Larissa never had any interest in learning any of those things, no matter how much Dad tried to get her involved. She preferred spending her time in the library, always had. It was still her favorite hangout. “I have someone looking out for me.”
Not good. Olivia’s eyes widened a fraction, then took on a gleam of devious speculation. “Oh you do? Who would this paragon be, and why have you never mentioned him to me before?”
How to explain Terak in terms that would not have Olivia salivating and asking ever more uncomfortable questions? “He saved me from the zombies, and said he wanted to protect me.”
“Did he have a hand in getting you away from the orcs?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve never mentioned him before because…?”