“Like what decisions?”
The movement was subtle, but she shifted toward him now, and her lashes lowered to rest against wet cheeks. “I looked up and saw a boy who fought a whole gang to protect me even though he didn’t know me, and right then I decided I was going to follow him wherever he went. I didn’t know what it meant at the time. I only knew he would be my life, and I never considered where that would leave my brother.”
Esh hadn’t mourned for Jac when he’d died. Esh had been too pissed, and then too scared with Nalah missing, and after she hadn’t come back all that was left was empty. Now, the back of his throat thickened and his chest went tight.
They’d all made stupid decisions. He and Nalah had been so wrapped up in each other they’d left Jac behind, and Jac let his hurt turn him bitter, leading him to make stupid, destructive choices that Nalah was always cleaning up after, until the one time Esh said no more, and that one time destroyed everything.
The dogs howled around them, mad, frantic barking that grew louder, closer, circling. Nalah turned to the sound. “They’re almost here. You should leave.”
“Without you?” Nalah met his gaze, and the vague mourning for Jac morphed into a cold pit that ate up his heart. She was ready to say goodbye. “Dammit Nalah, you’re not a fucking liar. Don’t say you’re going to follow me and then let me go. I won’t allow it. From here on, we go together.”
Her unfocused expression pissed him off, like she expected him to accept her words and leave her to her fate. He grabbed her hand, placed it over his heart. “Do you know what happened to me when I saved you? Before you I hated what I was. I knew I had something different in me, and it was from assholes who threw me away to the streets. If I could have gouged it out with a knife, I would have. But you fucking smiled at me like I was a miracle, and that thing inside me sparked and lit. And I knew it was for you. That thing in me was a good thing, because it made me strong enough to protect you. For the first time I didn’t hate what I was. I was grateful.”
Beneath her palm the fire in him rose to greet her, the phoenix raising its voice in exultation. “This fire is yours, and if it can’t be used to protect you, I don’t want it. I’ll throw it away and walk by your side to meet whatever’s coming. But what I’ll never do is leave you again.”
Tears fell and her lower lip trembled. “Am I betraying Jac? How can I have loved him if I want to live while he’s dead, when his death is my fault?”
Take care of my sister, that’s what Jac said. Whether him speaking to Jac was true or an illusion, the rightness of that statement sank into Esh. “If you asked anyone, they would say the same thing. Jac loves his baby sister, and you know that’s true. Now honor him, because do you think the man who raised you would have wanted you in pain for five minutes because of him, let alone five years?”
Her face collapsed on itself, features stretched out with her sobbing, and she buried herself into him until not a breath of air could have found its way between them. Her tears broke something in him too. He’d never be totally right with Jac’s death, he’d never forget it, but it was time for some forgiveness.
The black dog came into view, savage intelligence in its dark eyes, teeth sharp and exposed. He wanted to hold her until her decision otherwise, but the timing was out of his control. He bent over her head to speak low into her ear. “Nalah, do we fight, or do we submit?”
Her fingers curled and nails dug into the skin over his heart. Her head lifted, those dark brown eyes clear of the past, and gods were they beautiful. “We fight, because the Cage King always wins.”
As if it had been waiting, the phoenix burst forth around them, its beak sharper, its flames burning hotter and higher than they’d been before, the colors more distinct and varied between reds, yellows, and even the hint of blue.
“So beautiful,” Nalah said, awe in her wide eyes and open-mouthed half-smile.
The phoenix took flight, its song full of joy and wonder. It swooped low at the dogs, which cowed and crept back into the darkness, before soaring into the heights once more. It twisted and turned, cleansing the air wherever it passed and banishing the night, the graveyard, and now they were at a waterfall, lush foliage and sun sparkling above and about as perfect a place as Esh could ever want to be.
“Didn’t know you liked waterfalls.”
After all they’d been through it might not have been the most insightful comment, but Nalah started laughing, full-blown belly laughs that had her doubling over. “You kept sneaking the travel book that had this waterfall like I wouldn’t notice,” she said as she straightened. “I cut the picture out and kept it with me.”